I just need someone to tell me I'm being silly...I'm struggling

[MollySxx]

So after 4 miscarriages within 12 months. I had my first March 2020, my most recent March 2021. It's been a struggling and now I'm still here standing, never mind now standing here pregnant. I'm due a mental breakdown honestly🤦🏼‍♀️

But I know I'm being silly, reading into how I feel or don't feel. I'm a lot more calm this time, but I was crazy before so maybe not that calm. I haven't fed into the testing as much, but I did test a few times just to make sure and I have got some of the strongest positives I've ever had. I'll attach the pictures below and I won't be testing anymore after my test yesterday.

I have an early scan next week with the EPU when I'll be 7 weeks exactly. But im just dreading the worst. I just think this isn't meant for me. But I want it so bad. I honestly feel so lost

I just can't explain the relief when the midwife was explaining what she saw "I see a sac, I see a yolk sac, I see a fetal pole" and she turned the screen and I could see the heartbeat just pulsing away. Honestly hearing the words "all is perfect and how it should be" was just amazing! I've never got this far before where I've seen a heartbeat. I've been lucky to just about develop a yolk sac.

Thank you ladies for your kind words x

@BTE152

Havent read the whole thread so apologies if this has been suggested, but when pregnant with DS I rented a Doppler(?) so I could listen to his heartbeat whenever I wanted. It wasn't expensive at all and o just sent it back after he was born.

I feel like me personally having 4 losses, and the anxiety I've experienced. I don't think that'll be a wise option for me x

Followed this thread for the last couple of days and soglad to see all is good OP 😊 completely get this, I'm around 5 weeks after 3 losses and the anxiety is unreal. I'm with you on the Doppler, it wouldn't help me and would become an unhealthy obsession.
Wishing you well in your pregnancy

@bez91 congratulations🥰 sending you all my love! Please keep an update. I think pregnancy after loss needs to be talked about a lot more than it is x

Just read this thread and am thrilled for you OP!!! I had a missed miscarriage a couple of years ago so know how badly that can affect subsequent pregnancies. I have a good feeling about this for you and will be keeping everything crossed xxx