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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

pregnant and feeling insecure about my relationship

1 reply

Lele85 · 02/09/2021 05:42

I’ve been with my partner for 4 years and I’m pregnant with our second child. I also had two older children from a previous relationship when I was younger.

When I was pregnant with our second child I noticed changes, he didn’t want to be intimate anymore, which made me feel insecure. He is a good man who helps with my older two children and is a good father, he also works 6 days a week. After my first child was born, I had gained allot of weight and we were only intimate once or twice by the time of our child’s first birthday.

After that time I started going to the gym and also our toddler became slightly more independent and sleeping through the night and things picked up a little in the intimacy area, to once per month...I’m now pregnant again but things are getting worse again. I feel really lonely and unloved.

I just wandered if anyone had been in my situation and things got better ? I don’t want to walk away from this relationship as I will soon have 4 children. Am I being selfish for feeling neglected, I’m so tired of crying myself to sleep most nights, I just want to bd hugged at least, it makes me feel so unattractive.

I’ve tried talking about the issue but communication on the whole between us is not great and he says if I want intimacy then I should be the one to start it, I just don’t feel confident enough to as I’ve been turned down when I’ve tried previously.

Please someone tell me things will get better? When I think of spending my life with someone who clearly isn’t attracted to me anymore, I feel heart broken. He says he loves me and wants to spend his life with me but I don’t feel it.

OP posts:
Floryella · 02/09/2021 08:43

Didn't want to read and run... I don't really have much experience with this, as I'm only pregnant with my first but I really feel for you. My partner was finding intimacy a bit harder during the pregnancy, mainly as I think he's been worried about hurting me or the baby. It did make me feel a bit upset and insecure about my changing body. I talked to him about it and things have improved quite a bit, especially in terms of general affection and feeling close. Pregnancy is a vulnerable time and I think can make us feel extra sensitive - and generally in need of a cuddle and some reassurance!

If communication isn't good then maybe that's where you can start to try and improve things? Sometimes with me and my husband if we're a bit disconnected it filters through into everything else. Maybe it's not so much about your appearance and more about general intimacy between the two of you? Wishing you the best.

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