The dreaded Birth

[Serevai]

The title sounds so bad!

Of course I am excited to meet my son, but, I am so scared for the actual birth and the pain! My anxiety is through the roof, anybody got any tips to mentally prepare? I have an estimated 2 months yet

I had a very fast labour with DD and delivered at home alone with just DH. I'm really pleased I had done some hypnobirthing stuff beforehand as I would have been terrified otherwise. If my plan had been for just an epidural I'd have been fucked.

Have an epidural! Pain free birth 😁

Just want to reiterate, as a PP has said, the Positive Birth Book by Milli Hill is not associated with the Positive Birth Company. They have slightly different stances on certain things. The Positive Birth Company are seeming to increasingly be interested in capitalising on the 'birthing industry' too.

As others have said, you really don't have to go through hours of pain. But I'd suggest looking into possible outcomes from using epidurals. Everyone's experience is different, it's not one size fits all. But, hopefully, making your own, well informed decision, will help you feel a bit calmer when the time comes. This includes being well informed that things don't always go to plan. Try to be at peace with going with flow if that happens.

Firstly yes it’s fucking agony, like someone has reached into your vagina and is ripping your uterus out.

Secondly, it’s not constant pain (natural contractions), they go from
0-peak-0 in around 1 minute so there actually only 30-40 seconds of agony (obviously the crowning part but you’re at the end so W/e at that point.

Thirdly, just get an epidural, they have risks so read up about them so they don’t come as a surprise if they happen to you but honestly I found it great. I went from a frantic banshee to a calm collected woman able to nap. When labour lasts 3 days, damn I needed a nap.

I also used the PBC book (before finding out about their views) and found it great. Contrary to what posters above said - the book helped me relax and prepare for any eventuality, including c-sections and interventions. As it happened, I used gas and air and had a lovely, quick and peaceful labour, in large part due to hypnobirthing - I felt so much more relaxed and calm compared to my previous labour, and I feel that made all the difference. All the best to you, OP!

It is an intense experience but it is only a small part of the process and once over, you do forget about it!
Don't worry about having the 'right' birth. The only right birth is a good outcome for you and your baby.
My midwife took notes for my preferred delivery and was a lovely pragmatic woman. On the day things can change, so it's best not to be too fixed in your ideas.
I had every kind of pain relief offered to me and the epidural was just amazing - the pain went away but I could still feel my legs and move around.
It really will be ok and don't listen to the scary stories, most women give birth safety and lots of them go and do it again!

I found hypnobirth really helpful with my third birth.
The positive birth movement and book have been incredibly helpful to me allowing me to reframe my desired birth and the one I ended up having into a positive experience.
I found water really helpful. I used the hospital shower as hot as hell on my belly during contractions and it was great.

I would say with the epidural yes mine was a fantastic help (induced) and had absolutely no long lasting health impacts for me, other than being able to feel to push and actually enjoy DD's arrival, I can vividly remember it and that was really special.
But you do have a bit of faff that comes with them, all worth it in my view. So cannula for fluids (ouch) catheter (actually brilliant really, one less thing to think about) being immobile of course (bloody nuisance for a few hours after birth but you do have your call button). Major plus point is of course you don't need to get involved in making choices about other painkillers etc once you've got one in place.

So nothing to worry about but I have the fear of the unknown so thought worth mentioning, it's obvious looking back that all these things would feature but I hadn't thought about that side of things. My 'birth plan' this time just says no drip without epidural and beyond that I'll use the advice from whoever is looking after me, but I won't be waiting too long to ask for epidural if I feel I want another one as it's much easier to do it while your pain is comparatively low.

In all honesty, nothing can really prepare you for it, but it will help to do an antenatal course, read up about it etc. And just be open to all pain relief options! I had diamorphine which took the edge off the pain for me. I had visions of a calm water birth, but that went out of the window and I needed drugs!! Just be open to all options and don't be a martyr!!

Thank you so much everyone for your replies which have been extremely helpful. I honestly couldn't have asked for a better online support network. I