Can I ask people's opinions on antenatal testing without it getting too sensitive / heated?

[FrannyandZooey]

You know when you need to decide if / what tests you are going to have at the scans and so on. Would people feel comfortable telling me about how they made a decision on this? I need to stew it over.

I had nothing with DS because we had waited so long just for a pregnancy. Having waited all that time I just sort of decided to go with whatever happened. DS was fine - I was 37 when he was born so was offered an amnio etc but just couldn't have gone through with it. That's me though and my decision -I respect the right of anyone else to make their own decision.

I had the HIV tests plus a 12wk scan and a 20wk scan with DD, same with DS, this time round I've had the same, but I have a uterine doppler scan in a fortnight and then two growth scans booked in, I wouldn't have had to have those in normal circumstances but I want a VBA2C so they're trying to keep an eye on anything that might go wrong due to previous placental abruption.

I personally have never and would never have any of the amnio or triple test type tests, I didn't see the point, it wouldn't help me, I wouldn't have done anything about high risk results except paniced, so I thought I'd rather not know, if my baby does come out with any kind of problems, I'll have to deal with it when it comes, and that would've been the same if I knew so I'd prefer not to iyswim.

Oh and the HIV tests I had because of my exdp, I didn't really trust him and suppose I was right not to when I caught him cheating!
I didn't see there was a risk this time round (DP has only had 2 other partners, and used condoms,as did I until we decided to try for a baby, so it was very unlikely, but just incase we hd been able to get it, I would prefer to know, as they can give you drugs to stop the baby getting it, so I thought that was worthwhile.

Thursday no I was happy to have ultrasound scans with ds, and am going to have one in 2 weeks (private dating scan - will help me feel confident that it is ok to tell ds about pregnancy) and will also have NHS 20 week scan. I can see why Emkana says she wishes she had not had one - I think I feel more comfortable knowing that a serious condition is likely to be picked up before birth, however I don't think a scan is reassuring or helpful in all situations.

Thanks again all who have shared their decisions - really helpful.

.... congratulations Franke!

I went along with the combined test offered on the NHS in my area (nuchal and blood tests) at 12 weeks, and when I came back as 'high risk' (just over the boundary) it made things very stressful indeed. I had a horrible couple of days assimiliating the information as I just blithely imagined that everything would be 'okay'. I'm 35, and sure that the age factor skewed the results. I was lucky to be offered an early detailed scan (more detailed than my 20 week scan) that thankfully showed that everything seems to be okay (am now 28 weeks).
To be honest, if I were to have another (this is my first) I would think very carefully before doing the blood tests again. The nuchal seems fine as it is just a test of the baby, but the blood test risk factor can depend on so many things, many of which seem quite independent of the baby. Personally, I would say that more scans are the way forward, because the detailed scan I had gave me far more information than a vague risk factor could ever do (and was more concrete). The blood tests just seem to increase a pregnant woman's stress levels, which can't do much good at all for the baby...
But, everyone to their own of course, and I respect the decision that any woman makes. This is just my personal perspective.

Oh yes franny - i get what you mean about having the scan before telling people. The pg wasnt "real" to me until I'd had 12 week scan to prove there was actually something in there, and even then (with my first more than my second baby), it wasnt until after the 20 week scan that I felt more relaxed. There were various reasons for this that I oughtnt really go into but it seemed logical at the time.

Just to add my bit in, I am 11 weeks and have been considering what to do over the next couple of weeks. Both dh and I have decided against an NT scan and bloods simply because they are not conclusive plus if I came back as high risk, I'd panic. I am 36 and apparently at a risk of 1:1000 of having a downs baby - if that risk was lower then yes, perhaps I would consider it. I believe it is 1:400 when you reach 40 which is still low to me. I most definitely wouldn't have an amnio so therefore I see no point in having the tests done. What will be will be is my opinion.

I have paid for the nuchal fold and bloods in both pregnancies. The first time I don't know what (if anything) I'd have done if the results came back as high risk, but I wanted to be prepared for anything I might face. I couldn't cope with not knowing something that I could know (had sexing scans for the same reason - I am a control freak)

The second time I seriously think I might have had a termination if the results had come back as high risk (which, thankfully, they didn't). I don't think I would cope well with a Down's Syndrome child, and think it would have been unfair on ds1. I know that sounds selfish...

fp i think it is one in 100 at 40 - those odds you quote sound too low to me

I'm cutting and pasting this from another thread in response to someone's question about nuchal fold testing:

What would you do if the nuchal fold scan gave you a high risk? Would you have an amnio? How high would the risk have to be for you to undergo the risks of an amnio? If you had an amnio with a positive result, what would you do?

In my opinion, if you don't think that you would terminate, then why go through the risk of an amnio? And if you won't have an amnio, then a set of figures giving you a risk factor doesn't allow you to prepare yourself but merely to worry for the whole pregnancy.

Also, you might have some reassurance that the baby doesn't have Down Syndrome, but what other reassurance do you have? Any pregnancy is a leap in the dark. Personally, in my own nightmare list, Down Syndrome ranks lower than lots of other things that can't be detected in a scan.

With DD they found an brain abnormality at 26 weeks and I was offered an amnio as it was a marker for Edwards' Syndrome. Initially we thought we'd hold off until very late on (36 weeks) as we didn't want to jeopardise the pregnancy but wanted to prepare ourselves if it was Edwards. But when we got to 36 weeks we'd spent 10 weeks worrying ourselves sick and decided we'd just wait and see.

No scan will guarantee you a Waitrose baby. It's a very frightening time but my experience is very much that you find your peace of mind from within rather than from testing.

So many pregnancies are blighted by test results and "abnormal" measurements. IME mnay people who have the initial tests do so hoping (obviously) for reassurance, but if they don't get that reassurance they are left floundering as the tests are not offered with useful counselling about what happens next.

I hope your pregnancy goes well

Emkana - it's MrsDarcy by the way - I knew I'd see you on this thread

Franny, I quite agree that the 20 week scan isn't always reassuring or helpful. But I think the 20 week scan can sometimes be really useful for planning both the birth and what will happen after the birth for babies with some serious conditions. I guess I'm thinking of some heart defects and maybe that condition where the contents of the abdomen are partly external? For me the reasons for having an anomaly scan are much clearer (though still mixed) than the reasons for having the triple test and nuchal fold.
I also found the 12 week scan seemed like a good time to tell people, having had a missed miscarriage at 11 weeks in my first pregnancy. 12 week scans are done on the NHS in my area though, it's odd how variable the tests on offer seem to be in different areas.

Hello rolf/mrsdarcy - I was thinking the other day what had happened to you! Good to see you!

can only tell yu my experiences, its a personal thing.

Had all teh tests etc for ds1 as recommended, he was clear so no amnio needed. Then PG went tits up at 4 ish weeks, developed eclampsia and had an emergency induction. will never know if it contributed to his Sn buut there you go.

With ds2 had bloods etc all clear, all ok.

With ds3- we were given a high risk of Downs atfter the blood tests. We said we categorically wouldn't have the amnio (miscarriage risk) but the MW rather rpessured us into it. eventually we capitulated and went to the unit for the tests, absolutely petrified. We saw a ocunsellor who was very about the rpessure we'd been under- and left the room to 'give us a minute'- which was all we needed to bolt!

DS3 doesn't have Dowsn Syndrome, he does however have ASD with complex speech disorders etc and certainly ahs defin ite special needs, may well be with us all our lives. And you know what? he's our teddy bear, an absolute joy who brightens every day. So very glad we amde the decision we did, our lives have improved so much since he came along.

this time we haven't had anything bar scans. TBH I do worry a little that the baby migt have a syndrome that emasn he won't live long, but we do know that with 2 ASD siblings, he ahs a stonkingly high chance of ASD anyway so thats far more a focus and one that cannot be tested for even if we wanted (dont think we would). having ajd 2 Sn children and lived through both the strains and the joys, it would seem wrong for us as a family to make the decison to put a baby at risk through testing now- and there's no real point to the blood tests if you won't continue ime, they just scare you.

But obv my family is unusual, and I ahve the benefits of having worked with and nursed kids with various SN before becoming a parent. It si however worth remembering the most common disabilties either cannot be tested for (ASD rates are above 1% now) or occur at or around birth (eg CP) so there's no such thing as a gurantee.

Persoanlly I would make the decision absed on what you would do if you were carrying a child with Edwards as opposed to Downs which ahs such a wide base of disability levels anyhow. Sometimes extremes are easier to work with.

(34 ish weeks with ds1 obv)