Near the end and low mood

[MissMarion]

The title says it all...
I'm 35 weeks, and although I feel I can finally see the end approaching, for some reason my mood has been pretty low lately. I don't think I'm depressed, I'm just feeling bored and down I guess, not excited like I thought I'd be at this stage.
I've been desperately waiting to go on maternity leave for months and now that I finally am, I just feel empty. This baby was very much wanted for many years (no fertility issues, just the time it took to find the right guy and the right moment) and now I'm just not feeling anything, which I feel really guilty about.
I don't know if it's the hormones playing tricks on me, being fed up with pregnancy (I haven't enjoyed it that much tbh), the fear of childbirth/what comes next, crashing down from all the stress from work these last 6 months...
Has anybody experienced anything similar?

I didn't enjoy being PG at all and I can totally sympathise with how you feel. By that stage I think it's pretty normal to just want the baby out and feel tired.

Can you plan a couple of nice things for this week? Maybe a Pedicure or coffee with a friend? You can also go to local playgroups/next groups/breastfeeding support groups when you are still PG so it might be worth finding out where they are and going along

Me! I'm currently 33 weeks with DC3 and so fed up, feeling quite depressed really. Not sure if it's a combination of hormones and circumstance, I feel really distracted by worries, fed up of being trapped at home with the kids and no energy or patience to do anything with them. I'm just counting down the days. I'm trying to snap out of it by using tried and tested tactics from previous bouts of depression but nothing is working. I keep telling myself this is a phase though and it will pass.

Sorry, that was a bit of a downer! Pp's suggestions of planning nice events for yourself is a good idea, it is tough in the last few weeks and pregnancy does tend to suck in general. I don't really see it as a 'fantastic journey' or anything, more as a means to an end. I hope it all goes well for you.

Me! I'm due Wednesday and I've tried not to get fixated on the date but I've really struggled the last two weeks so praying he comes on time!
I've not enjoyed being pregnant at all. No real issues just found it tough not being able to exercise from about 27 weeks which is my main coping strategy for life! I tried to keep it going but it was too uncomfortable.
Now all I feel I do is lay on the sofa, watch TV or fall asleep because I'm uncomfortable basically doing anything after about 15 mins 🙈
Sorry, not very helpful to you but you're not alone!
Having said that about pregnancy, I'm very excited for the arrival and can't wait to be a mum 💙

I felt a bit like this pre- arrival and have experienced it significantly post-delivery. Similar in that our baby is much wanted, IVF pregnancy, but I didn't really enjoy being pregnant and towards the end I started feeling a bit flat and concerned whether it was the right decision. I would really encourage you to speak with your midwife now. Post birth you experience a huge hormonal shift which can result in some challenging emotions temporarily. If you are already struggling with your mood this could be exacerbated. I am 2 weeks post-delivery now and struggled with quite severe anxiety/low mood for the first 7-10 days. It is notably improved now, although some of the feelings I had pre- birth still raise their head at times and I wouldn't say I feel back to my usual self. However the intensity of the anxiety/low mood feelings has definitely subsided. The important thing is to seek and take up support at an early stage to ensure any issues are well managed. There should be lots of help and support available to you.

Thanks for your replies.

@DominicRaabsTravelAgent I've actually planned a spa treatment in a luxury hotel for Friday, I think it's about time I treat myself! Maybe also a last minute photo shoot, although I feel huge at the moment there might be a time in the future I'll want to look back on these times...

@CanofCant haha no worries, I'm with you. I didn't feel pregnancy was the magical time I thought it would be, but I guess we all experience it differently. This is my first baby so I don't even have an excuse, I just didn't enjoy all the symptoms (suffered particularly from nausea which never really stopped and is almost as bad as first trimester now) and feeling like my body wasn't mine anymore...

@RaeRae84 oh you're so close!!!! You must be so excited. Let us know when baby's here.

@MGee123 I think I feel the same. Empty, a bit joyless, and this weird voice in my head wondering if we made a mistake. It's crazy because I know I love this baby, I was desperate for it, crying every time a friend announced a pregnancy etc. But now I just don't feel much. It's scaring me because I'm really worried of post-partum depression as you mention. I'm glad you're feeling better now. How are things with your little one? Do you have support? I will talk to my midwife, I'm seeing her next week.

I'm almost 35 weeks with my first baby and similar situation - much longed for baby. Definitely feeling a bit low but I think just a bit depleted after sorting so much stuff out for the baby's arrival, moving house and finishing up work. I think accepting that we good days and bad days, and it's all completely normal is key.

The truth is we only have a finite amount of energy, especially with social situations. MIL came to stay at the weekend and we went out on the first night but after that I just wanted to sleep and chill, and I felt pretty bad about that but it's just the way it is and sure she can read between the lines.

I think doing what you can to connect to the baby, maybe through mediation or hypnobirthing, playing a lullaby/singing to the bump etc - thinking about names if those are still being debated, and getting excited about the baby.

What's everyone having? Have you got a name sorted? I'm having a surprise, we're calling bubs Emerald if it's a girl and Forrest if it's a boy.

X

I feel very similar. I’m 36 weeks and I just feel down and not that positive. I think I’m being quite difficult to live with lately which i doesn’t help and I’m quite teary. Hoping it’s the hormones and will perk up soon.

This is my 3rd baby and with my first 2 I felt ok all the way through and quite excited etc.

This one has been a whole other ball game, I'm seeing a perinatal psychologist every week at the moment as I was suffering with very low mood, anxiety etc about having the baby. I still feel quite neutral/in denial (baby is arriving in 5 weeks) but not the same level of absolute devastation.

I wonder if this is a particularly difficult time mentally to be pregnant? With the pandemic and various other things going on maybe we're all a bit stressed...?! Maybe that's not it, but I know I've felt very different this time and I can't explain it. Physically it has been hard going this time too but it's been my mood that has been radically different from the first two.

I'm really hoping I don't get PND or anything after the birth but we'll see. I feel so lucky to have had the input of the perinaral mental health team. It's been a total privilege to have had their help.

Hope everyone is feeling ok today. Try to look after yourselves. X

@MissMarion our daughter is doing brilliantly thankfully, feeding well and even sleeping a bit! I really can't complain - she is so settled at the moment. Yes I have sought support from our midwifery team who have been brilliant and I have taking therapy starting on Thursday. My GP has also been great. There is support out there so do ask for it. I can totally identify with all the feelings you're describing so rest assured you're not alone and it will get better. Being honest with healthcare professionals and seeking support is the important thing. It totally took me by surprise as I've never had any issues with my mental health thankfully, and the sheer intensity of the negative feelings/anxiety I experienced was overwhelming. But as I said, it is already improving and I can see the light at the end of the tunnel again. I was also terrified it would develop into PND/A. So far I can see improvement, so hopefully not, rather it is just a reaction to the shifting hormone levels going on and the need for adjustment to our new situation. It is rather incredible what hormones can do to you! I have also started to feel like I am bonding more with our daughter the past few days, which is helping, but it is definitely slow progress. Don't expect too much too quickly post birth and try and be prepared for feeling fairly crap. Not everyone gets an overwhelming rush of love/bond etc and that is perfectly normal, as is being all over the place emotionally to start with. I wish there was a more transparent conversation around this in society as having been honest with a number of friends they have said they experienced the same! And yet all we see are happy mum and baby pictures on Instagram...