I've just turned 40 and have a 6 year old DD. After I had her I swore I'd only have one because it was a difficult pregnancy. I had urinary retention twice which resulted in an A&E visit and a catheter. We think this was due to having a tilted uterus. I also experienced bleeding on and off and had to refrain from sex from 12 weeks up until the due date.
I then had shortening of the cervix from 24 weeks possibly due to lletz 9 months prior to falling pregnancy, had progestogen pessaries until 36 weeks, was monitored closely, signed off at 31 weeks as baby engaged and cervix very soft, and even though I started dilating at 37 weeks, DD didn't actually put in an appearance until 40+5. So despite being a bit of a crap pregnancy, all worked out in the end, labour was also smooth sailing and just over five hours.
DD was a terrible sleeper, amazing for the first four months then woke up every 40 minutes for the next four months, we were exhausted, I was so grumpy, just not a good place for myself and DH.
Anyway, to get to the point, I've been saying a hard no to a second child, as not fair on DD if I have to bed rest again due to cervix issues, worried about urinary retention again etc and the lack of sleep, but since turning 40 this month a switch has gone in my head, and I'm seriously considering trying for a second. I currently have the copper coil, DH is supportive, but I just don't know. Worried that this is a midlife crisis of sorts, but am starting to worry that DD is an only child, no sibling support etc.
I don't know what answers I'm looking for, but am I too old now, is this a too late decision? Any positive stories for bigger age gaps and having the next one in your 40's?