Anyone not going to have a sole room or nursery for their new baby?

[Carolinesyear]

I am pregnant with my first child due early next year.
We (DH and I) live in a two bedroom cottage in a beautiful location with a bit of land, loads of great things about where we live but the house is rather small.
We have a large bedroom and a second bedroom which has two single beds in for my DHs children from his first marriage, they stay one night in a fortnight but here regularly throughout the week for tea etc.
So obviously this room is completely dedicated to his children (my step children) and we are planning to have the baby in our bedroom before eventually getting the room prepared for the three children to stay in. Hopefully we will get a more suitable house eventually but this place is our only option just now.
I feel I'm kind of missing out on the whole new nursery thing you see in films etc where you pick colours and put up pictures etc. Has anyone else gone through not having room for a nursery or even introducing a younger child to other children's bedroom? Also how long can I reasonably expect to keep a baby in our room for?
(Please no replies telling me to buy a new house or that I shouldn't have got pregnant) thanks

Baby is supposed to sleep in the same room as you for the first 6 months.
And if you are feeding in the night, it is much easier to have them right next to you (mine both stopped night feeds around 9 months, bitvtgats not to say they slept through at that point!)

Mine escaped the cot early (23 months and 18 months) but some toddlers sleep in cots until they are 3.

A lot of those overly decorated nurseries you see in films would actually be death traps in real life: you often see cot bumpers, pillows, stuff hanging from ceilings, bunting, pictures above a crib etc. and the baby literally has no clue about decoration, they can’t even see properly when they’re newborns. Baby should be in with you for 6 months anyway and until they’re sleeping through it’s easier not to have to schlep down the corridor. To maximise time in your room I’d ensure you can fit a cotbed because moses baskets and the like will be outgrown too quickly. Rearrange the furniture if necessary. Then you could put the step kids into bunk beds to make space for the cot in the kids room and since it’s a cot bed you won’t need to worry about fitting in another single bed for years. My next door neighbours have 5 bedrooms but all 3 of their children sharing a room; apparently the kids love it and won’t have it any other way!

A lot of those overly decorated nurseries you see in films would actually be death traps in real life
Yes, this. Plus little toddlers don’t spend much time in their rooms in my experience – decor money is wasted because they’re in there for naps, and bed (and you want as little stimulation as possible!), but most of their day and play is downstairs near the snacks/garden/toys/where you can get jobs done and keep an eye at the same time.

DD moved into her own room at four months (and we all slept better for it!) so we didn't need a separate room for a while. Are there other things you can prepare that might fill that need, such a finding some nice sheets for the cot in your bedroom, or starting to prepare the area in the second room in which the baby will sleep?

Plus little toddlers don’t spend much time in their rooms in my experience – decor money is wasted because they’re in there for naps, and bed (and you want as little stimulation as possible!)
Yes - so true! My 4YO now plays in her room and likes to hang out there but this is a really new thing. I still don’t allow ‘exciting’ toys in there because otherwise she’d never go to sleep.

Life rule one: Never compare your life to what you see in tv/films/adverts/social media posts/vlogs!

DS1 moved into his own room aged 19 months. He would have stayed in our room for longer but DS2 arrived.

Thanks for the replies! Looking at cot beds now and that definitely looks like a great idea, I'm planning on redecorating our bedroom and getting new curtains and also a tv and sofa, also a baby changing area that my DH is going to build into the wall on a set of drawers, the room is really very big and has lots of scope.
My step children's room is fairly big too but omg it's an awful mess, I just shut the door on it now as I don't see it's my problem but there are toys strewn on the floor and not an inch of carpet uncovered by Lego or decapitated barbies so I think at the moment it would actually be a hazard for a baby but I don't want to seem pushy by trying to whip the room into shape as I'd hate for DH or the kids to think I'm invading so I might wait until baby makes DH do it himself (I.e disturbing his sleep after 6 months etc)
Definitely need more storage and those little chock hazards gone before I can think of a 6 month baby going in there. Also I can imagine baby will sleep with us the nights his kids are here so it doesn't disturb their sleep

Perfectly natural feelings to feel a bit sad about not having a nursery to decorate. Little ones tend to stay in your room for at least the first year and their rooms really just end up holding all their stuff!
However I do understand. We are a bedroom short with no possibility for our other children to share (small rooms) and I'm feeling a little sad about not having a room to prepare for little one.

I'm planning on making a nice corner of our room for them instead and checking Rightmove frequently!

We won’t be decorating a nursery in a romantic movie type set up. We have a 3 bed, although have my DSS every second weekend. I don’t want to disturb his set up with a new baby, and I’d rather our 3rd bedroom was available for friends and family to stay (double bed etc) rather than a nursery when the baby will be in our room for a long time anyway. May reassess after a while, but I’ve accepted we won’t be doing the typical nursery type thing for our baby.

@Carolinesyear if your bedroom is much bigger than the other bedroom, there’s always the option to swap rooms in a years time, when all 3 DC need to be in the same room. It’s slightly disappointing, but there are always options to explore!

If it makes you feel any better, our DSs are nearly 10&7 and barely spend any time in their rooms other than to sleep!
DS2 might go in and play with some lego but even with a TV in DS1s room he’s never in there!

I don’t think you need to worry so much about the baby having their own room but get that you feel like you’re missing out choosing “nursery” stuff and painting the room. That being said, you may find yourself grateful in a few years that you didn’t spend the money on a lot of furniture you have to free cycle.

We're just going to have baby in our room to start with, and if we ever want it to have a separate room... we'll see about it then. We do actually have a spare room for it, I just can't see the point in turning it into a nursery/children's room until we know what the child really needs and at what age. I am unleashing my nesting urges on re-organising our existing drawers and wardrobes.

Our son stayed in our room until 18 months - in his own mini-cot and then normal cot. I’d say 18 months is the upper limit as at that age they are big enough and understand enough so if you still keep them in your room they will never move to a different room and sleep well in it. Don’t worry about having a dedicated nursery, we had one but never used it anyway:) like people said - all these nurseries you see on Instagram- it’s mostly just for show! You will see when your baby arrives what kind of sleeper he/she is. If he/she is a great sleeper at the age of 18 months maybe you could have all 3 of them in one room. Is he/she is not then probably time to get a bigger place. Our son was a great sleeper but must sleep an an absolute quiet room so he would never be able to share a room with any siblings. It all depends on your baby… good luck x

We’re not prepping a room for the baby. We have a 4 year old already and are planning to play it by ear whether they will share or not in the long term… but before then, baby will sleep with us and then move into what is our spare room currently. We don’t want to get rid of the double bed in the spare room unless we have to. we can fit a cot in there with the double bed. And then we’ll either move them together with bunk beds or we’ll get rid of the spare bedroom snd they’ll get their own rooms.

Don’t feel guilty - I don’t think babies, or even toddlers, spend much time in their rooms or remember what they look like!

This is our 3rd baby and it will be in with us for at least 6 months and then I plan on doing up our spare room as the nursery. I wouldn't do it beforehand as using it to change baby means having to go back and forth a lot which I like to avoid, especially when I am healing . It also helps having changing equipment in the same room as baby sleeps in to make your life easier when you are doing a 2am nappy change.

Previously we lived with my inlaws so my dd and da were in with us. We decorated where dd's crib and then cotbed went by putting up wall decals in that part of the room. We were lucky though in that the room was huge. Could something like that be an option for you if baby will be in with you for a while?

You can decorate the wall that the cot will go by, that's what I did. Baby went through into brothers room at 12 months I believe. Could have kept her in my room longer... You can keep them in your room for ages honestly it doesn't matter.

We decorated a nursery in our last house for DS1, he never slept a night in there and ended up co-sleeping until nearly 2.5. Happily moved to his room in our new house now but the old room was largely a big wardrobe and we needn't have bothered. Sounds like you've got a lot of scope to make a baby area in your current room.

If you fancy decorating, do a section of your room for the baby. I saw lots of good suggestions for shared adult/child rooms on ikea website, was a while ago though

We were in a one bed flat when my LO was born and even tho it was a small space I actually really enjoyed setting up her cot in there and making her little area all nice. We got a Mokee and bought the accompanying cot too changed which was great and big space saver. We had her in our room until we moved when she was 11 months and it was fine.
Your room sounds fab. Loving the idea of a simple and TV. We are now expecting DS2 and I can't even fit a chair into our room (altho just about space for a cot). One thing I would have really liked to have had with DS1 was a comfy chair for breastfeeding. Make sure if you're getting a new sofa that ot is supportive and will be comfy for feeding.

If your room is big enough for the sofa/tv cotbed etc, could you not have a stud wall put up to make a little nursery for baby? Then you can still decorate and feel you’ve done it. It wouldn’t need to be a huge space, just enough for the cotbed, set of drawers, box room kind of size would be fine. Plus it may work better for the early years anyway as they’d still be super close, and away from all the choking hazards?

Sorry that should have read 'cot top changer'

I knre we were mo on within months of baby being born so didn't decorate as such.

I second the idea of try and fit a cot in your room rather than mosses basket if possible but... I had to move my LO out of our room as they and my husband kept waking each other up at 5 am. So something to potentially be mindful of.
Might be a case off baby in other room most of the time but when your step children are over travel cot in with you?

Also I completely agree with those saying baby doesn't spend much time in their room. Ours is literally a storage space for clothes/nappies and somewhere for baby to sleep.

We have a 2 bed house too. Both quite big bedrooms fortunately.

When I got pregnant the plan was to turn the second bedroom into a nursery. Then Covid happened and DH had to work from home. His job needs quite a lot of computer equipment and a massive desk, and also had stuff coming into the house for him to work on and send out again, so basically the whole room was taken over. Also we had started lots of work on the downstairs before lockdown with the plan to move onto upstairs and it would all be nice before the baby came, that never happened obviously!

I did feel quite sad about the nursery thing and like I was missing out on something.

I did manage to get our bedroom repainted and a new carpet and put some children’s bookshelves up which I put a few ‘baby bits’ on. MIL made me some new curtains and bought us the bedding to match. We were given a changing table from a friend which fit in well. I got a next to me type crib and chose nice sheets etc. Once that was all set up I felt like I’d got my ‘nursery’ fix even if it wasn’t JUST a nursery. We then swapped to a cot bed (passed on by the same friends but we bought a new mattress). Either way, DD ended up co-sleeping till she was 11 months and is quite happy in her cot in our room at 1 now, DH has a new job and we could now rejig things so she has her own room but I’m honestly in no rush whatsoever. Like you, I think we will be moving eventually and till then we can make it work.

With my first I didn’t decorate the nursery until she was about 1 as we had so much other stuff to do in the house (we bought a wreck) and she was in our room anyway. It’s a lovely kids room now and they will be sharing it but our second is 10 months and will be in with us til he starts sleeping through/I stop breastfeeding at night. I’m aiming to feed to about 13/14 months as I did last time so will have him in our room til then. As a second child he’s had pretty much nothing new or specially for him and I assure you he hasn’t noticed!

Babies love to be close to their parents much more than they love Pinterest worthy nurseries! I’m sure your baby will also love sharing with their siblings when they are around too.

With my first baby we were living in a one bedroom flat and didn’t love until she was a year old. It was fine - when we w ted to sleep train though we had to sleep in an air bed in the sitting room as she wouldn’t settle otherwise. The new nursery thing is a bit of a money making thing really- baby just needs you and your cottage sounds lovely - good luck.