Pregnant but now extremely anxious and considering abortion

[miamaex]

Please can I start off by saying that I feel extremely awful and guilty so please no nasty comments as I don’t feel like I could cope with them.

So, I am 24 and pregnant with my second child. I have just found out - my period isn’t due until Tuesday. In my last pregnancy with my 19 month old, 2 weeks after his birth I developed a Pulmonary Embolism out of nowhere and was admitted to hospital for a week. I was told I would be fine to have future pregnancies but would need to be on blood thinner injections throughout.

I finally plucked up the courage to TTC as my partner was desperate for another, and I did want one also. I was excited. However, since I recieved the positive result yesterday I have done nothing but cry, feel like I’m suffocating and have panic attacks as I am so terrified of the PE happening again and me dying during birth and leaving my little boy. I have severe Health Anxiety and I honestly didn’t expect to feel this way.

I contacted my GP yesterday and I have to go for a scan in 2 weeks time (I’ll be 6 weeks roughly) and then I can start my injections, but I just can’t shake this awful anxious feeling and I don’t see anyway out of it but to have termination which makes me feel sick but I can’t carry on feeling this way!

Sorry for the ramble, any words of advice would be amazing. Thank you x

I didn’t want to read and leave but sounds like you had a very tough time last pregnancy finding out about the PE. I would suggest talking to GP about your concerns but from what you seem worried about they will know this time what your past history was and would keep an extra close eye on you. I would give yourself some time to come to terms with it and not act on shock and panic, speak to your GP or medical professional for some advice on your concerns before taking any action

Thank you so much for replying. This is a good idea, I’ll do that. Thank you x

I would access early counselling if you can through BPAS or Marie Stopes. You don’t have to go through with anything but I think talking and reflecting will help you come to a decision you will be at peace with good luck

My sil had a blood clot of some type in a previous pregnancy so had to do blood thinning injections throughout her next one. She was absolutely fine and had a completely trouble free pregnancy and birth.
I hope you GP can give you some reassurance at you appointment

Thank you x

Thank you lovely. I have spoken to a few ladies like your SIL and they have been absolutely fine also. It is my anxiety talking I know that, but it is so hard to be rational x

I know it's not the same but I wanted a second child until I got pregant and the hyperemesis kicked in. It was much worse than in my first pregnancy and I got to the point where a miscarriage would have been a relief and I genuinely considered aborting. Booked an appointment and everything. I didn't though, and now I'm really glad I didn't.

Pregnancy can be a very anxious and difficult time. Talk to your midwife about it and get the support you need. It's natural to be anxious after what you've been through, let the medical professionals know how you feel and what your concerns are. Sending you all good wishes.

Bless you I feel very similar at the minute and feel so guilty for feeling that way. Thank you for your reply it’s always good to hear someone else’s experience

Oh op, you poor thing. Of course you're massively struggling, you're scared and have every right to be. Please reach out to any form of support you can get. Considering termination is absolutely nothing to feel guilt about.

Thank you! It doesn’t help that my anxiety makes things 100x worse. My partner is very supportive with whatever I choose to do so I’m lucky in that sense x

I had a pelvic DVT in my first pregnancy then an entirely uneventful second pregnancy. I know that DVT isn't as scary as PE, but I remember having a panic when I had a pain in my lower back shortly after getting pregnant with second- ended up going along to A&E with nothing at all wrong with me and the doctor there clearly thinking I was bonkers. Anyway, the worry calmed right down once I settled in to the pregnancy, and it was much less onerous being on a prophylactic rather than therapeutic dose of anticoagulants.
It's very unlikely to happen again and you want this baby, so look for support to manage your anxiety

There is no harm in discussing your options with someone like Marie Stopes. You don't have to go through with anything but you will know where you stand with the protocol, if you decide not to go through with the pregnancy.

You also need to ask your GP to refer you to a midwife who deals with anti-natal mental health. They can be a lifesaver when you're experiencing anxiety from a previous traumatic pregnancy. They can be the port of call when you're worried and can either reassure you or get you seen by a doctor over anything untoward.

You poor thing.

I would try to give it a little bit more time before you make any decisions. If at all possible, it would probably be good to speak to a therapist or counsellor, as they'll be better situated to help you work through this.

Whatever you decide - it's going to be okay

Ultimately you need to ask yourself how much you want to have another child. If you think you could be happy with just the one and have no regrets then do what is best for you. Nothing you feel is ever wrong but you need to make sure you aren't ever going to regret anything. Speaking to a doctor might put your mind at ease. If they're aware of the issue now they maybe be able to take preventative measures. Good luck!

You poor thing.
Just some reassurance. I’ve now had four pregnancies where I’ve had to inject heparin for a blood clotting disorder I have. At first I was terrified but I had lots of extra care from maternity and there injecting was fine once I got used to it. I know it’s daunting and scary though xxx

I’m currently injecting blood thinners due to a brain clot in a previous pregnancy - I’m 22 weeks. I do it every morning and it doesn’t faze me.