Appointments when employer doesn't know I'm pregnant...

[libraa81]

Just as the title says really! What do you do when you don't want your employer to know about your pregnancy yet (Prior history of miscarriage and just don't want to disclose yet) but you have appointments to attend? I work in a school environment so I can't really get any time off Monday to Friday without work asking for an appointment letter.. really don't know what to do!!

Any experiences would be appreciated!

When are you planning to tell them? After 12 weeks?

Get a private scan at the weekend, and see if you can get the booking appointment and bloods at the end of the day? My hospital does appointments until 5:30pm - yours may too?

Well either you lie and say I’m sick and call in the morning or you have discreet word with head of department and say it’s very early says and no one else needs know but you need anti Natal time off.

As previous has said I would do a private scan in the evening or weekend around 10 weeks for reassurance. For 12 week scan try get afternoon appointment and if not then the go to dental treatment.

Say urgent dentist appointment as you won't have a letter then

Hi! Firstly, congratulations!

I completely get why you don't want to disclose your pregnancy yet. I felt the same, but for other reasons - we had been trying for 5 years and after doing treatment and being pregnant for the first time ever I was terrified of the worst.

I also work in a school and decided to tell the head (reluctantly) at 8 weeks, only because I wanted that support (regardless of what happened) and so they could get the ball rolling with risk assessments etc. The policy is for it to remain confidential, aside from probably needing to let HR and your line manager know. Although if you felt comfortable enough telling them about previous losses it may encourage them to keep it hush hush moreso. We know what workplaces can be like for gossip😳.

It meant they understood why I needed the time off for the many appointments we have to attend and they couldn't urge that I tried to get appointments in my own time (even though hospital appointments never work work like that, you have to take what you are given!). Also if I was off sick they knew the reasons why (from what I understand they also can't penalise you for having pregnancy related absences). I suffered quite a bit with sicknesses and exhaustion early on so this was another reason to let them know ASAP.

I understand this probably isn't what you want to hear but I felt that this was the best option to avoid problems!

Best of luck x

I work in HE but decided to tell my line manager at 5 weeks to get the time off. I framed it as being high risk (it was) with a high chance of miscarriage (I was over 40) so stressed I wanted noone to know. She did keep it completely to herself as far as I could tell.
I then told work officially at 13 weeks.

I also work in a school and even after 4 miscarriages I decided to tell my line manager and department head just so they were aware of any time off I’d need for appointments.

I’m glad I did, they were both incredibly supportive and subtly adjusted some of my duties in work to make things easier and safer for me.

I then let other colleagues know once I’d had a nipt test and scan at over 14 weeks. I didn’t announce or anything, but being my fourth baby I was showing a lot by then and many were guessing or asking so I just confirmed lol.

Scan appointments can be booked late in the day. Midwife booking appointments can be done over the phone.

I told my line manager straight away as I felt it was a needs to know thing, she kept it totally to herself until I was ready to share with others. I’d had a mc before so I really didn’t want to sing it from the rooftops.

I’m sure there are ways of getting appointments outside of working hours etc, but you can’t get an appointment for morning sickness outside of working hours so I tend to feel it’s best to let your manager at work know even if you feel you don’t want to share with anyone else. My manager has been great :-)

Wishing you all the best!

Apologies, I've reported my post above. I'm on completely the wrong thread!

I'm a teacher too. You could blank out most of the hospital letter and just say you want it to be confidential. I just told my employer early on though.

I'm in the same position. I have had two recent miscarriages, and so I have an early reassurance scan booked in on Wednesday, the only day they had available , even though I am on annual leave on Mon and Tue! I don't know what I will say... I would normally disclose and ask my manager to keep it confidential, but I only returned from maternity leave about a month ago so I really don't want to disclose until much later!

Thanks so much for everyone's replies, super helpful! 😊