Which visitors can I say no to? When baby is here

[DueInWinter2021]

Baby is due this winter. It’s mine and DP’s first child. We’re ecstatic, but I am also quite anxious!

Baby is due in winter, so general bugs go around anyway but I’m worried COVID-19 cases may rise again. I mentioned having sanitiser on hand for visitors and DP said we can’t ask families to do that as they’ll be so excited to meet baby.

I also mentioned no kissing the baby on the face and he kind of agreed but he’s quite hesitant to ask his family to do these things, I think he thinks they’ll be rude about it.

This then led me to think, I do only want close people visiting the baby. DP has a big family, I do not. I would like some time post birth (about a week or so) for us to start settling in as a family and for me to recover a little bit before seeing people.

Am I being rude? I feel like I have a very specific idea in mind of how I’d like visits to the baby to be when baby is here, also quite concerned I’m being uptight and a paranoid mum?

I limited time with my first as well, so only 1 set of visitors every 2nd day, and only an hour at a time. I didn't even really tell anyone about these 'rules', I just always made sure any visitors were planned 2 days apart and didn't try and fit more than 1 visit a day! After an hour, most people are ready to leave anyway, if not I just say right baby needs a feed, and took the baby upstairs 🤣😀 people probably thought I was mad but I didn't care!

Hand sanitising and everything else you said is totally fine. Your baby! The amount of time you need to think about these things is short in the grand scheme of things. Soon you'll be plonking baby in MIL and buggering off for a shower without a 2nd thought.

Babies literally don’t have any immune system until around 6 months.
This isn't true.

Do what you want. Some people want visitors some don't. See how you feel. Set no expectations pre birth as you could end up upsetting people for no reason. Just let people know as and when you are ready.

Op your choice completely! Plus if you end up having a section you'll need rest. Just be straight with people and 100 percent only have close family while covid is still bad. I wouldn't have cousins etc visiting we just had our parents and siblings for a couple of days then we went into lockdown and saw noone for 2 months and even then it was garden visits from mum and no holding baby or even using our loo! I was covid mad but didn't care. Youve got a baby to protect

I know exactly how you feel @DueInWinter2021! I'm also due in December and my husband is one of six and they are a very close family. I've already said to him I don't want him sharing all the details of labour (or even telling them I'm in labour) on the family whatsapp chat which he is really not happy with. I can't think of anything worse than getting messages all the time. I also said I might like a few quiet days when we get home but his family tend to visit in the hospital (we're the last to have a child and most of them have 3) and then straight away at home so it's going totally against what they're used to.

I'm not sure quite how we'll deal with it. I think they're used to me being more antisocial than the rest of them - I skip out of a lot of family events - so hopefully most of them will understand or at the least just come for really quick visits. My husband just doesn't seem to realise how stressful the thought of it is though!

My baby was born a week ago and I am this paranoid mum now 🤦🏼‍♀️ I didn’t want visitors in the first week regardless of Covid anyway so we have only had his grandparents for one visit each this week. When I announced on social media and by text that he was born I had at least five people say ‘can’t wait for a hold’ 😳 I let his grandparents and my sister hold him but I wasn’t planning to let anyone else. If I was to allow more distant family like our aunts and uncles it would end up being about 30 people who get to hold him, I just feel the chance of one of them having covid is quite high. I think I’m planning to say I’m being really careful until after his jags so he has some sort of immune system (not that it protects against covid) but I thought that way the people who just show up once ‘for a hold’ won’t be visiting again after the first few months anyway. I have a gazebo out in the garden and I think il try to arrange friends to come on nice days and say in advance to come to the garden so hopefully they’ll get the hint and not ask to hold him. I went to see my friends wee one when she was born and didn’t ask for a hold and she didn’t offer. Hopefully everyone else will be as respectful 🙈 I just feel like I’ve carried him for 9 months being so careful about every possible risk just to start taking risks now purely for other people’s need for a hold 🙄

Even precovid i would expect to sanitise my hands before holding a new born baby. you never know what bugs your carrying that may be harmless to you but not to baby.

And if you want a weeks rest totally your perogative. you're the one pushing this baby out. you get final say

I’m due in December and I’ve already said I want anyone that sees the baby to have done a COVID test that day and have to wash hands etc before touching the baby. Definitely no kissing on the face. To be honest I had similar rules when my daughter was born in October 19.
If they don’t like your rules they will have to wait to see the baby.
Your baby you get to set the rules.

@DueInWinter2021 @Em39ma have you had your babies? What did you decide to do about visitors? I had my little one two weeks ago and so far just grandparents and my best friend have met and held him. Other friends and family members have wanted to visit and then ended up testing positive just prior to the arranged visit. It's very worrying how many people are catching it and I'm feeling like I'd just prefer to keep him away from people for the time being, until he's a bit bigger or things generally start to feel safer. It doesn't feel worth the risk, even though it would be lovely to be able to have a coffee and chat with someone other than DH!! Today my best friend was due to visit for the second time but tested positive last night and I feel like that was a close call!

@Violet1988 I had my ds a week ago today. Only people I’ve allowed see and touch him are my parents. They live in the house opposite us and isolated with us before my c section so they could look after dd for us while in was in hospital. DH parents think isolating means only going to the pub once a week, shopping when you like and visiting people when they are available, because that’s not really going out.
We have sent out a lot of photos to everyone. I’ve only had one jab due to having to wait until could get one in an allergy clinic, so I or DS don’t have much immunity yet.
DH parents turned up on our door stop yesterday, but we were across the road at my parents. I was actually asleep and DH was walking the dog. They came across to my parents and had a moan about our rules and my mum said if they did the isolating they could of seen the baby. They want test either. My brother and wife have just seen him through a window as my nieces are all at school and they don’t want to risk giving us anything.