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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Oh wants rid of baby because of hyperemesis

23 replies

bloatedandfedup · 15/08/2021 13:11

This is our third baby, HG has Just kicked in at 6 weeks had it badly with DD last pregnancy and had to go in hospital several times I was so ill. However I wasn't working and OH worked for his dad so we had flexibility. OH was great and looked after me very well.

Today the house is a mess fridge is empty and he's saying I'm not doing it I'm doing this all over again just get rid of it just get rid of it.

I don't know what to say I feel bad but I just want to lie here. And I feel guilty because OH is upset and im worried about am having to keep taking time of work.

Maybe I am just better of having an abortion

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

IndecentCakes · 15/08/2021 13:14

Is there a reason why he is unable to tidy a house and buy food? Does his penis get in the way?

vodkaredbullgirl · 15/08/2021 13:17

You can't help it being sick all the time. How many weeks were you last time ,when you were in and out of hospital?

Original poster

bloatedandfedup · 15/08/2021 13:22

He's been huffin and complaining all morning and he's finally gone to Tesco. He said before he left maybe we should be grateful we've got a boy and a girl just get rid of this one go ahead and make the appointment.

My HG kicked in about 9 weeks last time and lasted 7-8 weeks. Well I kept getting dehydrated so they kept admitting me at least every week. I lost tons of weight too!

OP posts:

Sleepyquest · 15/08/2021 13:26

He's probably just stressed and is remembering what happened last time, having you in hospital for periods of time and having to do more himself. I would imagine he's anxious what the next few weeks will bring and isn't thinking straight. Let him cool off and try and talk to him about it. I assume this baby was planned and wanted? It will be another tough few weeks but then you'll be back to normal.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 15/08/2021 13:27

Well he sounds delightful, did you plan this baby?- make life easier by shopping online at least.

Seeline · 15/08/2021 13:29

Probably a silly question but have you tried medication? Even if it didn't help last time, it might be worth trying it again.

Luckyelephant1 · 15/08/2021 13:30

Is this a joke? What's the reason he can't clean and do some food shopping himself? And is that a good enough reason to terminate his own child?

Dinosaurballoon · 15/08/2021 13:31

so it’s ok for you to go through a possibly harrowing procedure and emotional distress for a long time (not saying this will be the case I know it is not for all women) just because he can’t be arsed going to the shop and doing a bit more childcare for 6-7 weeks.

I have no practical advice op I’m sorry your in this position. I don’t think a termination just to appease his disgusting lazy attitude should be the answer though.

naughty40me · 15/08/2021 13:31

Oh I feel for you.

I had HG with mine. I was admitted weekly for drips and anti sickness meds.

I was still throwing up daily right up until and during labour. It only disappeared for me once both were born.

You have my sympathy OP.

It really is very stressful and impacts everyone in the household.

It's not nice at all.
I was never in the position of my DH wanting to get rid of it though. That must be very tough.

I lost a third baby at 17 weeks and had HG with that one too.
Sending a hug to you.

grapewine · 15/08/2021 13:32

@Luckyelephant1

Is this a joke? What's the reason he can't clean and do some food shopping himself? And is that a good enough reason to terminate his own child?

I'm actually stunned.

BetaChangeMeUsernameAgain · 15/08/2021 13:33

Did you get medication last time? If not why? Can you get it this time?

grapewine · 15/08/2021 13:36

Today the house is a mess fridge is empty and he's saying I'm not doing it I'm doing this all over again just get rid of it just get rid of it.

How utterly awful. Maybe he should man the fuck up and do some cleaning and shop online.

Unbelievable.

Persipan · 15/08/2021 13:38

.. he thinks you should abort your pregnancy so he doesn't have to go to Tesco?

1990b · 15/08/2021 13:38

Fucking hell, that's an absurd reaction.

GetTaeFuck · 15/08/2021 13:42

Keep the baby, get rid of the man, hire a cleaner, do the food shop online.

What a prick.

Parentingdilemmas · 15/08/2021 13:43

@bloatedandfedup

Firstly, make an appointment with the GP and get some anti sickness medicine ASAP.

It is a lot harder to be pregnant and have other children to look after as well. It’s not like staying in bed all day is an option unfortunately. I understand your OH is probably having a thousand thoughts racing through his head and is most likely fearful of what’s to come.

Take a day at a time, support each other. There is a lot of pressure on him but nowhere near as the discomfort and sickness you’re going through. I know, I’ve had HG in the past and it was the most dreadful thing.

The HG could tail off a lot sooner this time around, who knows? x

Plumtree391 · 15/08/2021 13:43

I too think it is just 'getting' to him but even so, it is totally unfair on you and I hope he realises it and feels bad about what he has said.

Hg is horrible. You are really brave being prepared to go through it again.

I do hope you feel better soon, don't hesitate to go to the hospital if necessary.

ViceLikeBlip · 15/08/2021 14:02

If you can't with being this unwell then there is no shame in aborting. I think something like 10% of hg pregnancies end up being terminated.

But I wouldn't be able to terminate a wanted baby just because the hg was inconvenient. Ultimately its 100% your decision - whatever inconvenience this causes him is negligible compared to the hell of living through hg xx

dworky · 15/08/2021 14:03

Oh god, please leave this awful man.

ViceLikeBlip · 15/08/2021 14:03

*can't cope with

MilduraS · 15/08/2021 14:15

@IndecentCakes

Is there a reason why he is unable to tidy a house and buy food? Does his penis get in the way?

I know it's not a funny situation but this really made me laugh.

Dontforgetyourbrolly · 15/08/2021 14:21

I assume he wanted this child that's why he wasn't using contraception?
As others have said ,make life easier by shopping for groceries on line and get a cleaner if you can afford one

He's been incredibly insensitive but he's probably stressed at the thought of juggling work , kids and housework.... oh hang on ...that's what most mothers do !

Sceptre86 · 16/08/2021 06:23

Did you not discuss this before trying for a third? If you have Hg in one pregnancy you are highly likely to have it in subsequent ones. Obviously having other kids to take care of will impact you both but him more so if you are laid up or in hospital regularly. Tbh I can appreciate where he is coming from, he must be stressed and worried for you, then the baby, concerned about your other children, how to keep on top of things at home and work. It is a lot for anyone. Of course as the one who has Hg your life isn't exactly a walk in the park either.

Immediate solutions are to speak to gp and arrange medication and start taking it. Move to online shop orders, arrange delivery when he is home so he can put it away (saves you bending, getting dizzy). Ask for help from wherever you can get it, so if the kids are school age are there friends who can pick them up for you or family to do drop offs? Cleaning wise if the Hg lasts a few months as opposed to whole pregnancy could you get a cleaner in once a fortnight to support you? Could you afford to buy some ready meals and live off them or is there anyone who could sort out a few meals for you?

I wouldn't say leave him bit you definitely do need to talk to each other. To get through a 3rd pregnancy you will need his love, care attention and support. Good communication will help, it is easy to say things when you are stressed and concerned that you don't actually mean. If he does mean it then you have a difficult decision ahead. Best of luck op x

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