Hi ladies,
Im due my 3rd baby 27th December, and I cant decide on my delivery method, im only 20 weeks so i have time but im a planner and when ive brought it up with hubs he just says its my choice, but i feel he needs some input as a section would mean he takes the bulk of the parenting for the first couple weeks.
My 1st arrived by emergency section under general (i have spinal issues meaning i cant have an epidural so would be general again) and i was in hospital sunday-thursday as baby was in neo natal unit due to low birth weight. The staff on the maternity ward werent great bar 1 midwife, they removed me from the private room and i was on a ward with new mums and babies while mine was down the corridor alone, i couldnt do the night feeds because i couldnt get there alone and the midwives wouldnt help me walk or bring a wheelchair any time day or night, the only time i could see baby was when i got a visitor and they were time limited so it wasnt a great experience overall, left me with a lot of anxiety about hospital stays.
My 2nd was booked for an elective section, however arrived naturally with no pain relief the day before. During that pregnancy i had to spend 2 nights in hospital due to a suspected clot in my lung where the straight up told me if it was that, i could die in minutes so i had no sleep, and cried the whole time, it didnt help my fear of staying the night. When i gave birth I couldnt get pain relief as the Dr rarely checked in and when she did she was very harsh, kept telling me to be quiet when i was in pain with contractions, and was brutal for the final few pushes, i was scared and tired and in pain, when id had in my head id be having a section. When i asked for a section when i couldnt manage the contractions, i was told i might as well carry on with vbac now its started rather than having to call the surgery team. I was out the same day after a cut and stitches but it wasnt a nice experience for me, and i spent a lot of my time the first week crying because i felt so horrible about the whole thing.
This time i feel like whatever i decide i cant win. I cant go to a different hospital as its too far away. I have a couple of factors and pros for each method. Another vbac would be fairly quick and hopefully id be out the same day once babys been checked for signs of group b strep, but i hate the tension of being on edge for labour, and because im so limited on pain relief it scares me, and i dont want to be in hospital for xmas and be away from my other 2 kids. Another c section means at least 1 night in hospital, and a longer recovery (i can cope with it quite well and wouldnt be out of action very long), having to self inject the anti clotting stuff, but id have that end date for the pregnancy, i could make childcare plans, i wouldnt be booked in xmas day and id hope that with knowing in advance id be able to prepare myself for the hospital stay and hope the staff are a bit more helpful this time around.
This post got huge so if youve read to this point thank you and i hope some lovely people can give some opinions because i have 8 weeks to make my decision and right now i dont have the head space to do it alone!