Terrified for my child’s future

[VegMam]

My husband and I spent a long time considering whether to have children due to climate change. We felt things were looking up (more action from governments and business) so decided to try and are now expecting our first.

However, the latest IPCC report is extremely concerning. Without significant action (which no governments are yet taking), we’ll feel the impacts of climate change sooner and more drastically than expected. In my lifetime we can expect global food shortages, millions of deaths, mass migration, social unrest, and ultimately large swathes of the world being uninhabitable.

I’m deeply concerned about the world I’m bringing my child into and the bleak future they face.

It helps me to feel I’m taking action, I’m active in a number of environmental groups, climate activism, changing my lifestyle (e.g. I plan to buy everything for the baby second hand as I do for myself), writing to my local MP etc.

I know there’s still hope if governments act now but sometimes it feels like everyone is just going on business as usual, to hell with the consequences for our children. I find it so sad and frustrating.

How do others deal with this?

I’d suggest you stop reading/watching this information that’s making you anxious, and concentrate on enjoying your child. Children need lots of positivity, not negativity.

Maybe your child will be the scientist that finds a great solution to all this?

@GoodnightGrandma

I’d suggest you stop reading/watching this information that’s making you anxious, and concentrate on enjoying your child. Children need lots of positivity, not negativity.

Ignoring a problem doesn’t make it go away though. Indeed that’s part of the reason we’re in this problem, too many people acting like we’re not in a climate emergency.

@Cheesecake53

Maybe your child will be the scientist that finds a great solution to all this?

Unfortunately the scientists have confirmed we have less than 10 years to turn things around 😞 There’s also broad agreement technology won’t save us, only rapid decarbonisation will.

I knew a couple who didn't have children as they were afraid of what their child would have to face during its life in terms of climate etc. That child would now be 50ish. They missed out on so much joy because of fear.

Do all you can, buy second hand which you’re doing, raise your kids vegan which I’m doing and it’s so easy now. Educate your child as they grow up in order to make sure future generations have a better understanding (they seem too anyway which is amazing). The old people that are fucking up the planet will die and new strategies will come into play when the thinking generations get into power.

It’s horrible and it is very real but I’ve not lost hope yet.

I don't see everyone carrying on as normal. I've seen lots of positive change in my lifetime, at an individual and residential level, businesses assuring they are carbon neutral, investment in different forms of power and manufacturing. I do believe the governments need to do more, create more industrial sanctions and large supply businesses need to be held to greater accountability etc, but lots has changed for good and will continue to do so.

I don't fear for my child due to climate change. I fear because she's female.

@YoBeaches I don't fear for my child due to climate change. I fear because she's female.

Ugh, this is so true 😢

Climate activism and lobbying is the most powerful thing most of us can do –individual changes are important but as I'm sure you already know, it's government and big business that carry the real power for meaningful change.

I'm looking at moving in the next 5-10 years to get ahead of climate migration: as much as the climate changes already upon us are terrifying, I'm equally concerned about war breaking out over resources.

No advice on the child thing –it's such a personal choice and you're already thinking about how to equip them best, which bodes better than most.

I've decided no, but I have a hunch I'd have chosen not to have kids regardless of the climate situation so it's easy for me to say.

It's really hard isn't it. Heartsore is the word I'd use to describe how I feel when I think about the world my children are likely to live in.

Don't really have a solution though other than saying feeling I'm doing what I can helps. And re-evaluating that every now and again to see if there's more we can do.

@GoodnightGrandma

I’d suggest you stop reading/watching this information that’s making you anxious, and concentrate on enjoying your child. Children need lots of positivity, not negativity.

Well, that’s a great solution

@penguinwithasuitcase

Climate activism and lobbying is the most powerful thing most of us can do –individual changes are important but as I'm sure you already know, it's government and big business that carry the real power for meaningful change.

I'm looking at moving in the next 5-10 years to get ahead of climate migration: as much as the climate changes already upon us are terrifying, I'm equally concerned about war breaking out over resources.

No advice on the child thing –it's such a personal choice and you're already thinking about how to equip them best, which bodes better than most.

I've decided no, but I have a hunch I'd have chosen not to have kids regardless of the climate situation so it's easy for me to say.

Moving from where to where?

The UK is one of the best places to be in terms of climate change (avoiding areas predicted to be underwater).

Although food security will be an issue.

@wheresmymojo I don't live in the UK –and unfortunately we're already receiving pretty shocking numbers of climate migrants where I currently live.

I think you may be right about avoiding being underwater - but I don't think the UK's doing a great job of creating co-operative alliances with other countries, so yes, food security and potentially other issues will arise.

I'm weighing up a couple of options, including the Scandinavian country where my DP is from and some mountainous regions of Western europe. It might seem drastic, but I'd enjoy living in those places regardless of what was happening climate-wise, so it feels like a god move.

Honestly I'm not entirely sure you are genuine poster and not just here to push the climate change let's all limit ourselves to no children or only children

No it doesn't bother me. You can't live your life ruled by fear otherwise you'll push your anxiety on to your child.

Unless every country in the world acts together with a single joined up policy - which is entirely unlikely (hello China Russia India USA ie the biggest polluters etc) I'm not going to let it dictate my life and that of my children

I'm not going to let it dictate my life and that of my children

How exactly are you going to 'not let it'?

I'll pass your tricks and tips on to my family fleeing the wildfires in Greece - I'm sure they'll appreciate your guidance. They're having some trouble 'not letting it' affect them.

@penguinwithasuitcase

As in if I want another child I'll have one - if I want to fly on holiday I will

Most migrants as we all are aware are social economic political ones

And many wildfires are also man made caused by ignorant people rather than spontaneously combusting due to the high temperate

[quote twinningatlife]@penguinwithasuitcase

As in if I want another child I'll have one - if I want to fly on holiday I will

Most migrants as we all are aware are social economic political ones

And many wildfires are also man made caused by ignorant people rather than spontaneously combusting due to the high temperate [/quote]
Gotcha.

The 'I'll do what I want, sod the lot of you' approach.

Had a hunch it might be that.

And for what little it's worth falling on plugged ears like yours, climate change IS a social, economic and political issue, and it's deeply connected to the behaviour of ignorant people. So you're absolutely right –except you're unknowingly arguing for the side you don't support.

Awkward.

Unfortunately, it’s a bit of a privileged worry to have at the moment for many, the three at of climate change. I’m absolutely not saying it should be the case. I’m saying that there are vast swathes of people in the U.K. right now who are worrying about how they’ll keep their children warm in the face of rising energy costs this winter, or changes to their benefits affecting their ability to buy any food at all, let alone organic/healthy/vegan. They aren’t worrying about whether to still fly abroad on holiday and I’m f it’s ethical to do so because they have never been able to do that in the first place. They probably never had a choice to buy things new or secondhand.

Does anyone see where I’m coming from? Yes climate change is a huge, huge concern. But for many people, it’s a quite a luxury to be actually have that as a main concern right now and have it within their power to mitigate it on an individual scale.

I feel exactly the same OP.
I have 2 children and we decided to stop there. I did want a 3rd child but it just seemed the wrong thing to do. And this was a decade ago so things are obviously much worse now.

We do try to do everything we can at a personal level. Don’t drive (live in London though so that’s easy). Big, old house but we’ve insulated it as best we can and we just put an extra layer on instead of the heating except when it’s really freezing. Was considering changing my job as it required a fair bit of business travel/flying but thankfully zoom and the work from home culture has changed that. Recycle/reuse/buy second hand as much as possible. Don’t eat meat.

I need to add lobbying/activism to my list though as legislation seems to be the only way to get people to change their behaviour.

Most people just put their head in the sand when it comes to climate change and if you try to point out what we all need to do, you just get accused of preaching or told to stop reading the news 🙄
Super frustrating but it does honestly feel that most people just don’t care as long as they can do what they want 🙁
The only positive thing as one poster said upthread is that the older generations will die and younger generations, who do care more about the planet, will start to come into power.

@SmidgenofaPigeon 100% agree with you.

Gosh OP we can all do what we can but not having children that you want because of fears of the future? I think every generation has been faced with some horrendous circumstances (war, famine etc etc) and if everyone had thought that way, you and I wouldn’t be here. We can all do what we individually can but there is only so much we as mere individuals can do (and it sounds like you’re doing great). We can only empower our children to follow but try not to scare the life out of them in the process

@SmidgenofaPigeon

You make a very good point about climate change being a luxury for many.

As you say, the people who are struggling to pay heating bills are probably not debating where to fly next on holiday or where best to buy food with reduced packaging etc. I think the onus is on the rest of us who do have options to make the best choices.

I agree OP. I'm often horrified by the amount that's thrown away at the end of every practical session I teach at university (healthcare related subject), even worse now due to covid. The waste that's generated unsettles me.

Meat eaters definitely have their head in the sand about the colossal impact it's having on climate change. Huge swathes of land are used to grow crops to feed cattle to be killed for humans to eat. More than is grown to feed humans directly. If people could at least cut down to only eating meat half the days a week it would make a difference. I have friends who eat meat at every single meal and won't change.

I do understand your concerns. I imagine parents may have had similar fears during the cold war, any war in fact. Yes, take action, especially politically. But people have always chosen life and children are an intrinsic part of that. I take some heart from the thought that life (probably not human) will survive on this planet. In the scale of the universe, we are a blip.

I'm of the opinion that we need environmentalists to have MORE not LESS children. We need the next generations to have ingrained in them the importance to make good choices for the environment. Not a generation raised by people who don't give 2 seconds tought to planet Earth.

I feel the same concern about the climate but haven't had the associated feeling about children. I feel like we need to raise more good people who are aware of the issues and willing to do something about it. My main concern in that context is social. I worry so much about the bad influence of others and bad decisions other people make. How do you raise a sensible person in this society?