We've recently found out I am pregnant, very unexpected, failed contraception.
I had a baby who is now 15 months old, I had a very traumatic pregnancy, horrendous delivery in lockdown with a full investigation by the hospital afterwards and following on from that a baby who caught Covid and has now got a long term condition from having it.
To say I am scared of doing it again is an understatement, both mentally and physically.
I don't feel excited, I feel guilty, guilty that I have two older teenagers who although understand the situation are going to feel even more pushed away with the news of another baby, guilty that my little one needs me more than ever and I'm going to be getting more and more pregnant and guilty that im not happy/excited for the baby that im growing
My support network isn't great but im used to that, I do a lot on my own, dad is around but is equally as worried and I don't want to burden him any more with my worries on top
I just need someone to tell me it's going to be okay