Telling close family about pregnancy at 9 weeks?

[JackieBrown63]

Hello, Mumsnetters! I have just been for my first scan and it turns out I wasn't as far along as I thought and am only 9 weeks pregnant. I would normally hold off telling anyone but it's my wedding this weekend and wanted to enjoy the day without having to hide the fact that I am not drinking (My family and friends know me better than that lol) and didn't want the news leaking out before we were ready. I had the idea of just telling close family so at least those who know me the best won't be suspicious of my not drinking and I can just enjoy the day. What do you think? Should we tell family or keep it secret until the 12-week scan? I just want to enjoy the day and relax rather than worrying about what other people think :S

We told some people at 9 weeks (close family and very best friends), we thought that if something bad happened we would tell them so may as well tell them the happy news after our early scan. Best of luck with both the wedding and the baby!

There's no rule that you have to wait until 12 weeks. Just do what is right for you!

We told our close family at 5-6 weeks as we felt if anything was to happen we would want them to know anyway, so it made sense to tell them early.
Now 17 weeks and it probably feels like the longest pregnancy ever to them🤣 but we have no regrets.

Why do people feel stuck to “not telling anyone until 12 weeks”? It’s not a rule. Tell people whenever YOU want to! We told parents at 5 weeks, siblings at 6 weeks and our very closest friends at 8 weeks. Do what feels right for you but it sounds like sharing this amazing news with your nearest & dearest now is perfect timing. Good luck! X

Congratulations on the pregnancy and the wedding

I would go for it, the risk curve has dropped a lot by week 9 and having had a scan must offer a lot of reassurance x

We told our close family and my best friend the day we found out! The "rule" is just so you don't have to tell anyone if there's a loss at a time its fairly likely. if it's nine weeks and you've seen a strong heartbeat your risks are much lower anyway and wouldn't you want their support if something happened?

Tell people when you want not when society dictates

I told some people at about 6 weeks, they would be the same people I would turn to if I miscarried or had a bad scan

I told my mam at 4 weeks, about 4 days after I found out 😂

Then told the rest of our close family at 6-7 weeks.

You do what you feel is best for you 🥰 good luck in your pregnancy!

Personally I would just tell them but I told my mum about 10 minutes after I got the positive test! (I did tell DP first!)

I told my best friends the day I found out when I was 4+4, told my parents at 9 weeks. There's no rule on when you should tell people & it sounds like someone at the wedding will work it out!

Congratulations on your pregnancy & good luck for your wedding!

Congratulations 🎉!

I would say you don’t owe anyone an explanation for why you’re not drinking and only a very rude person would make you uncomfortable on your wedding day by asking too many questions about this. If anyone does ask you could say that you want to avoid any alcohol to remember your special day as much as possible/ not get too emotional/ you have a bit of a hangover from drinking the night before as you were celebrating your upcoming wedding etc.

Otoh, if you’re happy to share, share it!
It will make the celebration of your wedding extra special for them. Do keep in mind that there’s a big chance that the other guests will find out too as some people might not be able to hold the good news to themselves, drunk slip of the tongue etc.

We told both sets of parents at 8 weeks, mainly because I was sick as a dog and couldn't hide it from them if you want to tell them, go for it. Personally I was really glad of the support then we told everyone else after our 12 week scan.

Congratulations in advance for your wedding, have a fabulous day!

Of course you can tell them if you want.

I think it's really about how you deal with bad news if you had any. If I had miscarried I would have rather others didn't know as I don't like people feeling sorry for me (just the way I deal with stuff) but lots of people would want the support of their family. This is actually much less likely if you have seen a heartbeat at 9wk though

I suppose the other reason for not telling would be there was a problem at the 12 week mark, would you want people to know? Again I would have wanted to make my own decision without others weighing in (probably would have terminated and that would be hard enough without anyone making you feel guilty) but many people would want support.