Anyone else frustrated with people commenting that you're "not even that pregnant yet"?

[halfwaythere92]

Hello, new here and first time being pregnant. I found out at 3 weeks 5 days and am nearly at 20 weeks now, so I've felt pregnant for quite some time now. I'm beginning to get so frustrated with people responding to things I say about my pregnancy with "you're not even that pregnant" or "you're barely even pregnant and you're already saying this". When will I be able to talk about my pregnancy without being judged for not being far enough along?! I have a bump, I've had morning sickness on and off and all the other symptoms and I am apparently still not pregnant enough to talk to people without them looking at me patronisingly like "oh, little poppet, you're not nearly pregnant enough to talk about your pregnancy". Ahhh! Anyone else have this problem?

And he would get reported for ramming a man or woman pregnant or not so your pregnancy had nothing to do with it nor did it make you more special

Thank you, everyone, I've read all these messages. Yes, I suppose being pregnant the first time, I'm just learning that people aren't that excited or involved in your pregnancy as you'd think - even those closest to you and who were so excited when you told them you were trying! It's wonderful that we have a thing like mumsnet to talk about these things to feel them out, to know you're not alone or going crazy (and with some of the comments I've had recently, I have felt like I've been going crazy... believe me!).

@Chanel05 "Welcome to the world of being judged as a parent by others who want to give unsolicited advice/comments" I feel that!!!! This is a really good point. Looking forward to move of this, for sure :/ !

@miltonj "And the first trimester is often the hardest part, so usually when you need a lot of support." Yes! This is, I think, the crux of it. At the time when it's hardest (for a lot of people, I understand not all), you're expected to keep it a secret and then to have how you're feeling minimised by other people is really hurtful. I guess that's why I feel so exasperated.

@arcof "For me, it was the most amazingly weird (and challenging at times!) experience yet I understood that no one else was really that interested, which saddened me but I kept all my ramblings to myself." I'm really sorry that happened to you. I hope you at least felt some support from these sorts of forums etc.

@HyphenCobra I really feel you. I don't want to speak for you but I'm sure with it being your third there's probably an expectation on you that you'll have done this before so you should be used to it! But of course, it doesn't work like that, does it? I hope the symptoms ease up and you can enjoy the pregnancy.

I never got this at all.

Do they mean it already seems like you've had a very long pregnancy? Most people wouldn't mention it at all until 12 weeks, so how much talking about it have you done?

In the nicest possible way the only people more than a tiny bit interested in your pregnancy (or your baby) are DH, your mother and MIL.

@ActonSquirrel oh no, I certainly don't think I'm special, don't worry. We all have our personal struggles, I guess. Perhaps postie was having a horrendous day, for example, and at that particular moment when I hesitated at the roundabout because I couldn't tell where the person one the roundabout was turning, his emotions got the better of him and he decided to take it out on the car in front of him. I know he knew couldn't have known I was pregnant. But what I meant was more that he was on duty and had he done something to damage my car or to cause an accident and it had gone to court or something like that, it probably wouldn't have looked great for him that he was trying to intimidate anyone but perhaps people reviewing the case might bring up the very fact you mention - that you never know what the circumstances of the person you're trying to ram with your car are. The person could be disabled or recently have given birth or be a new driver and we should all be patient with others don't he road. In my personal circumstance, I'm pregnant and am being extra cautious on the road because it's not just my body I'm looking out for now! But that certainly doesn't mean I deserve to be intimidated by an agry postie or to have my personal worries about the safety of my child dismissed by my best friend. That's all :)

This is my 2nd baby and i really forgot about how alienating it can be.

When i was 4 weeks pregnant i wasn't pregnant enough to call the midwife i had to wait till 6 weeks.

Then no one wants to know you until you are 12 weeks if you feel anything is wrong go to a&e....

I was in maternity assessment at 18 weeks and was told they wouldn't listen to babys heartbeat as i was under 20 weeks, so im lying there not sure if babys ok i just got antibiotics and sent home (luckily ive been able to feel her move quite early on) so i new she was ok so settled my nerves a little but obviously its still hit and miss in terms of feeling movement.

I no there is a lot of things that can happen during early pregnancy, i had lots of cramping and was really frightened at the early stages, but it just seemed no one was interested i paid for an early scan to make sure everything was ok.

I think people fail to respect you are carrying a tiny human and want more than anything to bring them safely into this world they are still your child whether the size of a half grain of rice or full term i feel like the human factor has been lost, its quite sad really