40+4 - Feeling fed up! Anyone else?

[sunshinecitrus1]

I am a FTM and currently 40+4. I have been very relaxed throughout my entire pregnancy thanks to Hypnobirthing.

For some reason, I always thought baby would arrive early however, I am now 4 days so far past my "due date" and never expected to find this "in limbo" stage so difficult. I have had a "my baby will come, when my baby is ready" attitude all the way through but starting to get very fed up now

It doesn't help with the non-stop questions from family / friends checking whether baby is here yet. I know they mean well but my god, they are really starting to do my head in!

Please tell me there are others out there currently in the same boat as me!?

Been through that 3 times! Very annoying and can be anxiety inducing. Ignore comments from family....

Little piece of advice: sweeps don't work! And they are very painful. If they did work my kids wouldn't have been born at nearly 42 weeks!!

Good luck

And SLEEP!!!!! Rest!!!! Don't go for crazy exercises, spicy food, wtv, they don't work either. SLEEP!! You need to be rested for labour and afterwards

@grey12 Thanks for your reply, it made me smile!

Yes, I am doing my best to ignore comments from friends and family now and just keep telling them that I will tell them once baby is here and leaving it as that!

Thanks for the advice - I personally will not be accepting a sweep as I do believe that baby will be here when he is ready (even if I am getting impatient ) - The discomfort of a sweep doesn't feel worth it to me!

Definitely got to get my rest in, the good thing is I am still getting a good nights sleep. It's just when I wake up and feel so achy and like I have been hit by a train but... I can deal with that! As long as I have managed to rest that's the main thing

I feel you! My first came 10 days late and the world and his wife would tell me what I should be doing to get baby out - mainly have lots of sex - a bit of a awkward conversation with a stranger in the supermarket! It's all nonsense baby will come when their ready . Now nearing the end with #2 and think I will just turn phone off from 39weeks - I can't stand the hinting "so... how is everything..." texts where people think you might have snuck off and had the baby without telling them, but at the same time are far to polite to directly ask argh!!
Get a box set on and enjoy the peace and quiet for the last week or so

@sunshinecitrus1 I hear you! My due date was on the 5th August so I'm also 40+4, FTM and getting fed up and bored!
People keep checking in which is nice in a sense, but a bit annoying as surely I'd let them know if the baby was here...

What are you doing to make the time pass quicker?

@rosesandsalvias Ha! I can't believe a stranger even had the guts to give you advice on sex! Some people just don't care do they! Love your idea of turning your phone off from 39 weeks. I have also started ignoring my messages a little and just replying here and there rather than responding as I normally would. Only problem with that is if I leave it too long, they then think I am in labour! So annoying... But hey, I am getting full use of my Netflix subscription right now so just got to make the most of this time you're right

@Dahlia5 Ah we had exactly the same due date! I agree, it is nice that people are checking in as if nobody asked the question it would be like do people not even care!? But it's just a bit frustrating when everyday you are hoping and wondering if today will be the day and when someone asks you if there is any news and there isn't any, it's mentally draining! I have been off work since the beginning of July (I had to take a few weeks holiday before my maternity leave started officially last week) so I have been spending my weeks walking my dog and binging a lot of Netflix series! I got most of my "baby" jobs done pretty early on, part of me wishes I wasn't so organised now lol. What about you?

@sunshinecitrus1 I also do the dog walking, however my dog's really old and she won't go far haha. After a short stroll I bring her home and then continue my walk on my own to reach at least 3 miles daily.
Other than walking / exercising I try and make some nice food each evening and take long baths. The cold water ones were really useful in the heatwave.
Any shows on Netflix you can recommend? I feel like I need some distraction!
Have you been feeling any signs of labour getting any closer or nothing at all?

@Dahlia5 Ah same! We have a 13 year old labrador so I have to limit his walks too but he does get me out of the house which I am very grateful for
I tried having a bath the other day (I am a shower kind of person!) and I was so uncomfortable but I don't think our bath is great. It is pretty small. Yuck the heatwave was horrendous wasn't it!
I am just finishing off Workin' Moms at the moment, it gives me a laugh! I also want to catch up with some of the dramas I have on our planner such as Lie With Me (Channel 5 catch up) and Time (BBC iplayer).
I have had a few signs over the last week or so, mild period type cramps, low back aches and stomach tightenings but they are very on and off. Some days I think ooo this is it and then the following day they are gone and I feel normal again, my body is messing with me! What about you?

40.9 and the waiting has been excruciating! Physically, I feel fine. Getting out for long walks and doing lots of yoga. The thing that has been bugging me the last week has just been people staring at me when I'm out - yes I know I'm massive! Lol.

Also had to deal with people constantly asking whether I'd had the baby yet. I've asked my partner to check my phone and veto messages and emails tbh just because I feel like reading them is stressing me a bit. It helps when he can just reply and fend them off!

I've had to accept that I'm probably getting an induction tomorrow, unless the baby comes today/tonight (!) I was really upset about this at first as I had dreamt of a natural (as possible) birth, but now I think my body just needs a tip in the right direction. Everything we do brings us a little closer to meeting the wee ones, so there's no guilt/shame if an induction is needed. I'm just trying to put it off for as long as possible just in case a natural labour is still on the cards!

@sunshinecitrus1Yeah that's how I've felt as well, it's like every other day since I went past 40 weeks I've thought 'tonight is the night!' But any tightenings just fizzle out. I'm just trying to keep myself busy and not think about it too much as it was getting a bit obsessional. I felt like the week 40 to 41, it was like a full-time job just cycling through the different ways to naturally induce myself!! Now I'm just doing the occasional thing but not focusing on it too much. One random thing I
did to distract myself was to draw myself from different angles, moving one of those adjustable shaving mirrors around and noticing the different shapes of the body. The drawings are rubbish but I was getting SO bored just watching telly and listening to things, I needed something active and slightly brain-stimulating!!

@KaeSera2021 Thanks for your reply , I am glad you are genuinely feeling fine but yes, the waiting is so intense! Definitely the most mentally challenging part of my pregnancy. That's a great idea having your partner check your phone, that may be something I might have to start doing!
I am the same as you, really hoping for a spontaneous labour but beginning to lose hope (I am trying not to but each day just blends into the same old thing at the moment!). I have my midwife appointment tomorrow so will see what she has to say then. Are you booked in for an induction tomorrow then?
Love the drawing idea! Completely agree on the more brain stimulating activity. I mean I am loving my Netflix series but my days feel very "samey" at the moment which leads to boredom and then I get fed up... And then not positive at all!

@sunshinecitrus1 Yeah I'm booked in for tomorrow morning, so it's really last chance today/tonight... I'm actually focusing on boosting oxytocin/serotonin and the receptors for those hormones now to keep my mood up. I reckon the more relaxed I am, the better chances of things starting naturally. So lots of excuses to eat dark chocolate (for the magnesium) and nice baths/candles etc. Keep us updated on what your midwife says tomorrow - best of luck .

@sunshinecitrus1 thanks for the recommendations, I haven't seen any of these shows so will give them a go! If you like the motherhood theme I can highly recommend 'Little Fires Everywhere' on Prime, I binge watched within a few evenings.. one of those dramas you don't forget easily about.
Kind of jealous of your 'labour' signs, although it must be really confusing and disheartening to feel them, have your hopes up and then nothing happens! Hopefully they are a sign that at least the things are going in the right direction for you!
I have no symptoms at all. I've had the midwife appointment today and she said the baby's really low.. I was meant to have a sweep but she couldn't reach my cervix, apparently it's kind of behind baby's head... Looks like baby's ready, but my body's not

@KaeSera2021 How did things go today? Did anything happen yesterday / last night or did your induction go ahead? Hope all OK Ah… Chocolate for the magnesium sounds like such a good plan haha! Midwife was happy with baby. We discussed induction but it is not something that I am keen on so I was referred to speak with a consultant this afternoon. If baby doesn’t arrive by Monday on his own then I will be having a C-Section. Hope all went OK for you today.

@Dahlia5 Ooo I will have a look at “Little Fires Everywhere”, never heard of it but I do love a good drama My labour signs were very on and off so like you say it’s kind of disheartening. Today has been more or less the same. A few cramps and aches but nothing major or no pattern. Has your midwife discussed next steps with you yet? Hope you’re feeling OK today

@sunshinecitrus1 @Dahlia5 Hello lovelies - a little update from me... I did end up getting induced on Wednesday, took the pessary at 11am, contractions began at 2pm, and baby was born at 9.40pm. It all happened very quickly! Seems like after trying to naturally induce myself for 2 weeks trying every trick in the book, my body just needed that little nudge from the pessary. The most difficult thing was that after I took the pessary, I got checked around 4pm and I hadn't dilated at all which was really disheartening. I was starting to think how is this possible, the contractions were REALLY strong (all of my natural pain relief methods went out the window). The difference was made when I got in the bath, I must have gone from 1cm to 10cm very, very quickly. The challenge was getting the midwives to check me as they didn't think the bath would make that much difference! Long story short, baby is here, happy, healthy, 8.5. I'd read so much about labour beforehand but this experience made me feel like nothing could really prepare me for what happened. I stayed in hospital for 3 nights, mainly for stitches (which weren't as scary as I'd imagined) and getting the breastfeeding right. Wow, heading into the feeding stage and the pain hurdles to jump there, I wasn't prepared for that either. It will take time, I definitely felt like other mums 'got it' quicker than me but staying on the ward for a few nights and learning off the midwives as much as possible really did make a difference. Good luck with the C-section, and remember whatever happens, you're doing a great job! It's ok to feel up, down, and every way. Those first few days were definitely hard for me, and now I'm on day 6 post-labour things are starting to head upwards :) Day 3 was a bit of a melt-down day for me but it's possible to get out of the other side!

Just wanted to say i understand your pain!

40+12 with first and 40+10 with second. Both natural starts to labour.

Not looking forward to this one, have already mentally added 8 days to my due date so i don't start going nuts at 40 weeks 😄

@KaeSera2021 Thanks for the update and so sorry it has taken so long to get back to you! Congratulations on your little one I think labour is so unpredictable and you can do as much preparing as you want but you can't prepare for absolute every scenario! I am really pleased to hear your baby is here happy and healthy. I hope you are doing OK too and you are healing well

So... I never quite made it to Monday to have the C-Section as my little boy decided to make an appearance the day after I booked the C-Section in... Typical! I did however end up with a C-Section in the end. My story... I woke up the early hours of Thursday morning last week to my waters breaking. About an hour or so after that I got my first contraction. I tried to sleep through them but ended up getting up and asked my partner to call the birth centre to see if we could go in. Fast forward a couple of hours from the phone call and we arrived (it took me ages to get myself ready and in the car but the contractions were still manageable). I had a VE when I got to the birth centre... I was 9cm!! My jaw hit the floor when she told me along with the student midwife!, they couldn't even tell I was having a contraction... I can thank Hypnobirthing for that as I practiced it A LOT beforehand. I got into the birth pool shortly after and was fully dilated but that is when it went a little bit pear shaped... I never ever got the urge to push! It went on for ages like this and anyway in the end, it was either an instrumental delivery or a C-Section. I opted for a C-Section because I knew if baby wasn't coming on his own even when I was fully dilated, the instrumental delivery wouldn't be a straight forward one and by that point I was exhausted!! We are all doing well and can't believe baby is a week old already tomorrow! Xx

@sunshinecitrus1 @KaeSera2021
Congratulations both!! Lovely news and I'm so glad we all made it

I haven't posted for a while but it's because my little one made an appearance on Friday the 13th when I was 41+1
Contractions started quite unexpectedly at 3 am on the 12th. 32 hours later I was holding my baby and couldn't believe it happened early labour was the most challenging part, progression from 2cm to 6cm was really slow and contractions were strong and very painful. But then things progressed quickly and I had a very positive experience overall, thanks to amazing midwife and the hospital environment I gave birth in. Vaginal delivery, pain management wise I had cocodamol, gas&air and pecadine.

I wish everyone else who's still awaiting their birth a lot of good vibes and positive labour experience. We'll all get there

@Dahlia5 Congratulations! I am glad you had a really positive experience! It’s crazy to think our little ones are over a week old already! Xxx