22 with 3 children?

[Sherriepaul1]

Hiya!

So I had my first baby just after turning 18, my second at 19. They are now 2 and nearly 4. I absolutely adore them. We have a lovely home which is big enough to accommodate us all. Me and my partner are both self employed and we do earn a good wage. I did want another baby but not until my youngest started school, however I've just found out I am pregnant. When I found out we were both excited but I just don't know what to do, nursery will be so expensive, as I'll be having to pay for 2 children. (My oldest gets 30 hours) and I am so worried about how judgmental other mums will be with me being so young. We are also in the process of saving for a mortgage, so ideally I did want to wait until we had that sorted. I am so great full for this pregnancy but I am scared and worried about how things will be.
Any advice would be appreciated:)
Thank you x

It's a very personal decision, but in your position I'd keep the baby. You're able to, even though it isn't "ideal", but life rarely is ideal. It might mean some belt tightening in the early years, but in a few years you'll be through the mat leave and nursery phase completely, and things will pick up financially then. Rather than being still in the nursery fees rut for several years more.

If anybody judges you for having 3 kids at 22, that's on them, that's not on you. You sound capable, competent and hardworking, and like you've already got things under control and a plan for the future. That's more than many of the 30+ yr old mums I know. So age isn't relevant - you're already proving you're capable.

If you want 3, you'll make it work. Either now, or later. But hey, life's given you a shot now, so if I were you I'd be taking it. But as I say, very personal decision. Best of luck to you though :)

(And congrats on getting so much achieved by 22!)

Yes it'll be hard but if you want 3 and are pregnant, go for it. Yes it'll be hard but it'll be nice to have them the same age. If anyone judges you that is their problem not yours. I wish I'd had my third, the time has gone for me and I am full of regret. Good luck!

Can’t speak about other stuff but just wanted to say not everyone will judge you for having 3 at your age, I think it’s normal and I envy you (I’ve just had my first at 33, would love to have had kids younger). So don’t worry about what others think. Kids are a blessing.

Congratulations!
Three children is a lot for anyone to cope with, but your youth is an advantage here as you will have more energy than someone in their thirties or forties. The small baby and toddler stage will soon pass, and then you will be able to pick up other things and get on with your life while your friends are still trying to start a family. You will be young enough to do all sorts of fun things with your kids as they grow up.
Maybe just have a think about some super-reliable contraception after baby number 3 if you don't want to keep going!!

As it takes 9 months to cook a baby and presumably you will take a bit of maternity leave, by the time your new baby is starting at nursery I would have thought that you would be getting the 30 hours for the middle one and the big one will be in school.

So hopefully childcare costs won’t be too awful.