Feeding when baby arrives

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I haven’t been asked by my midwife whether I’m going to be breastfeeding or bottle feeding baby when he arrives. Just wondered what people’s experiences have been in hospital if they didn’t want to breastfeed? Was there pressure from midwives to do so. I know they say breast is best but I would rather bottle feed baby to stop any extra stress and pressure on myself whether baby is getting enough milk and if baby doesn’t latch properly etc.

I always said I'd try to breastfeed for couple of weeks but was then bottle feeding and all mid wives were fine with that. In reality I tried to breastfeed for three days but my milk didn't come in and my dd became very under weight so I bottlefed and midwife was very much in agreement .. I had be pressure from any they all respected my wishes..

I had no pressure*

When I had my son 4 months ago they asked what I planned to do beforehand which was to exclusively pump, some were very supportive some tried to give me wrong advice ( I knew it was wrong as I had exclusively pumped for my first) but when I was in hospital they just simply asked how I wanted to feed baby. In the end I did put him to breast but he had a really bad tongue tie so binned it off within a couple of days and went back to the original plan of pumping.
I would say look into all the options breastfeeding / pumping / formula be open minded and go with what Eva feels right for you and wee one

If this is your first baby OP why are you worried about all these things now ie. latch etc- I feel like maybe you’ve read scare stories, not everyone has difficulties breastfeeding. Totally up to you, your body your choice but I would say it’s not black and white- you could feed the colostrum and then bottle, you could entirely mix feed, you could pump etc-

Mine are much older now (9&14) but I never felt any pressure to breast feed at all. With DC1 I bottled fed from day one and was never pushed to do anything else. With DC2 I decided on the spot to try and breast feed (very difficult and traumatic birth, she was very tiny and likely to go to special care). They gave me lots of help and support to attempt to feed her but absolutely no pressure and being so tiny they suggested we too her up after each feed with a small amount of formula.

With my first he didn't latch and they offered formula. Second she did and they were happy with that. No judgment in my experience.

With our 1st yes there was pressure to persist with bf. Nowadays though they're pretty supportive whatever you choose to do.
I've told them I'll be trying breast but have also packed formula in my bag, bf didn't go well with our others.

Hi OP

To be honest I had pressure from them to formula feed instead of them supporting me with latching when I couldn't do it and baby needed milk. I decided to pump milk using a hospital pump machine and this helped keep my options open whilst cup feeding formula mostly (not bottle, as cups teach baby the same lapping reflex as breastfeeding whereas bottles teach sucking). I am six weeks in and finally having got tongue tie sorted (which was sabotaging the baby's latch) I am able to feed without horrendous pain and baby is having satisfied feeds from me. I soon plan to introduce bottles of expressed milk alongside my boob so Dad can continue doing some feeds as the cup is for very small amounts and designed for newborns.

So what I'm saying is you really don't know what will happen but in my experience I can see why breastfeeding rates are so low in the UK with such poor support to continue.

My friend who FF from the start had no pressure.

No overt pressure but I definitely felt that as a breastfeeding mum (of twins) in NICU that I was looked on more favourably- it's hard to describe - but lots of little comments about how amazing I was, what a good job I was doing, the staff couldn't do enough for me, loads snd loads of support.... the formula fed mums on the other hand seemed to be left to it a bit?

If your main reason is not wanting the stress / worry about latch etc then I think it is worth keeping an open mind.

My first baby was an absolute nightmare to establish BFing and had to resort to formula top ups - we tried syringes and cup feeding which was a nightmare too but give him a bottle, any bottle and he fed well. I did combi feed and continued BFing for over a year and it did get to be a joy eventually but I won’t deny it was hard, hard work getting there. Exclusively FF would have been the least stressful option for us no doubt - he always took a bottle with ease.

Baby 2 was in NICU and I was unable to stay with him so nurses had to try to give him formula/expressed milk. He was really hard work to bottle feed - they had to try loads of different kinds of bottles to get him to take one, took ages and ages to get him to take anything. As soon as I was able to try BFing him he latched immediately, no problems. Absolutely took to it like duck to water. Little bit of pain for me at the start of feeds for the first week or two (which is common) but otherwise it was a cinch, a totally different experience to my first. Although he was never a complete bottle refuser like some babies it was always hard work to get him to take a bottle of expressed milk. Bottles were just not his thing.

You don’t know what baby you are going to get. If you are dead set against BFing that’s one thing but if you want the least stressful option, that isn’t necessarily FF.

I plan to bottle feed and like you haven’t been asked by the midwives - I’m having him tomorrow! The only person who has asked is the health visitor and she doesn’t visit until he’s 10 days old. I originally planned to harvest colostrum and have it all ready to give him the first few days. I’ve found it near impossible to collect any so I’m just taking formula. I’ll take the syringes to hospital and if I can express any there I’ll give him whatever I can get. For me I just don’t want to put him to the breast at all. I also don’t want to do that for 2/3 days to then confuse him and start bottle feeding, especially if I then have sore nipples (as well as everything else hurting) 🙈 My friend’s experiences have all been that they have just said bottle from the start and because they were firm in their decision it wasn’t up for debate. I do think the second I say about the colostrum thing that might cause them to try and encourage me to breastfeed, which I don’t want. When the health visitor heard about the colostrum harvesting she then somehow presumed she could give me a 20 minute lecture on how ‘You don’t know how much you’ll love this baby until he’s born’ and that would somehow mean I’d want to breastfeed 🤔 I almost wished I’d just said bottle and did the colostrum thing alone rather than have to listen to it all

I had one baby combi feed and then ff from 6 week and the second combi feed for 6 weeks and then ebf. I have to say bf was way less stressful especially as mu girls have allergies (some studies suggest 10% of ff babies have CMPA) with bf it meant I was full in control of what they were getting rather than having to convince a doctor.

Honestly I found the midwives useless when it came to feeding support. I was desperate to bf but no one had any time to help me and I really needed it as I was totally immobile and unable to lift my daughter after my emcs. I was actually told that I was starving my baby the day I'd given birth. I felt hugely pressured to ff and that's what ultimately happened. It was much more convenient for them to not need to help me.

I always said I was definitely not breastfeeding but when mine came out and started looking for the boob immediate I just went with it as it seemed unfair on him not to. (I know it wasn't really and I'm not judging anyone who didn't do it but that's how I felt). So to PP having their baby today, you actually just don't know that you won't change your mind once they come out. Nothing to do with loving them more but there is a kind of instinct I had to do it.

I did want to breastfeed and was fully supported in doing that. However I remember saying to one of the midwives that I wasn't all that fussed and if BFing didn't work out I'd be fine with using formula. She replied that she had formula fed all of her own children and wanted to double check I wasn't feeling pressured into breastfeeding.

I really wasn't, it was my decision to give it as good a go as I could and as it happened breastfeeding did work out for me. I remember the conversation though as she was so kind and obviously interested in what was right for me and my baby as individuals, with no judgement either way. Other midwives may vary of course, but that was my experience.

I did want to bf with my first but he wouldn't feed and it was nightmare and instead of helping find midwives behaved like I was literally the first woman ever who's baby wouldn't latch and pushed formula, there definitely wasn't pressure to bf!

I bottle fed. Didn't attempt Breast, no pressure at all from any of the midwives.

I bottle fed both of mine from the start and no pressure at all. I think midwife asked pretty soon after I went in to have them, how I was going to feed and just checked that I had ready made formula bottles with me