Basing birth plan largely on existing DC

[Needingideas]

Just as the title says really. Due second DC soon and unsure whether to go for VBAC or ELCS. Previous birth was failed induction after waters broke without labour following on, resulting in emcs.

This time I’d prefer to try for vbac, however a huge factor in this is that we have no wider support network for childcare if it were to happen out of school time. DH’s parents live a long distance. I am extremely low contact with my own family and would not trust them to watch DC. Our friends all live 2.5 hours + away and have their own lives/jobs/children.

For those reasons, DH and I are leaning towards the less favoured option of another c-section and accepting that if anything happens out of school hours, he may have to stay home with DC and miss the birth.

I am sad that this is our situation but realise it’s probably quite common. I guess I’m just looking for reassurance from those who have based decisions on similar factors and wondering how things worked out (if you don’t mind sharing!)

Are there any local childminders/baby sitters that you can get to know before hand?

I booked a cs for my second after having a long augmented labour ending in an emcs. Elcs was booked for 39+1, DD arrived by VBAC at 38 weeks, it felt different I went with it. Labour in hospital was 12 hours
I did not have the childcare issues but I didnt want to be missing for days as that would have upset DS. Could you book a temporary nanny or a doula to stay with your children?

I did look into nanny-type options and I have asked school parents for local babysitter recommendations but it didn’t bring much luck. We’re in a small rural area and options seem few and far between here! I will keep looking into this and would be happy to use it as an option.

Have you asked at any nurseries or preschools? If there are any independent boarding schools ask them as well. Years ago I worked in an independent boarding school and occasionally children would just be there for a few days if overnight care was needed. They will also have matrons and weekend matrons and relief matrons, someone might be available.
Look on your local mumbler pages. I live in a rural area and there are actually many childcare options and activities locally but no one knows about them! Also ask your HV.

Sounds such a hard situation.

It's pretty unlikely that any labour, particularly an induction, would be over and done with within a school day. As a pp has said, are there any childminding services locally who could help? Do your kids have any school friends whose parents could help?

An alternative is to look at employing a birth partner for you, like a doula, so that your dh can look after the kids.

Oh no, that’s tough then.
It’s pretty much the only option I see, unless you wanted a home birth? I don’t even know what the risks are with VBAC so ignore this if it’s totally nuts.

Home birth would have been my preference if the other birth hadn’t been complicated. We only have the one other DC and he’s 4.5. He was a big baby at 10lb 1oz so I have genuinely no idea how this birth would go which I guess is the concern without a plan!

I have messaged a local mum, who we’ve met at the park over summer twice, to explore the possibility of help with the school run when it does happen. DS is quite a chilled out and easy child (I might be speaking with blinkers on though) but I still feel super cheeky even asking!

I have messaged a local mum, who we’ve met at the park over summer twice, to explore the possibility of help with the school run when it does happen. DS is quite a chilled out and easy child (I might be speaking with blinkers on though) but I still feel super cheeky even asking!

Please don’t hesitate to ask. I’ve had various friends’ kids stay in these circumstances and would gladly do so again; it’s a pretty exceptional situation and most people recognise that.

It wouldn’t cross my mind that someone was cheeky to ask in such exceptional circumstances. Honestly, most people would be glad to help I think.

ECS if your first was an emergency because of such a large baby. Second DC are usually bigger anyway, so a nice calm planned section would work. All done in a few hours so getting a reliable babysitter shouldnt be so difficult.