I’m 26 weeks pregnant with a very much wanted second baby - three miscarriages over 3.5 years of trying and lots of tough times to get here. I thought I would feel elated and over the moon… but I just feel completely flat. I have an almost 6 year old who is showing signs of being anxious about her little sister’s arrival (getting into our bed at night, wanting to us to stay with her as she falls asleep etc) and I just keep thinking I’ve caused her to be unsettled and worried.
I’m stressing about silly things too - like painting the house, sorting out our spare room and finances. We earn decent salaries but I’ll be on SMP and then baby will be at a childminder for 4 days per week when I go back at 9 months - which I am already feeling incredibly guilty about!!
I have gestational diabetes which is diet controlled and really sick of having to be really careful about everything I eat, that’s also stressing me out.
I feel so guilty that I am not enjoying this time more. I wonder if anyone out there can relate?