Would you tell?

[finallypregnant]

First of all, hello everyone! I am new to this site and expecting our first baby hopefully in June. I am 10 weeks pg and heading for a private scan this afternoon - very excited but quite scared at the same time! We've been trying for 3.5 years to get to this stage.

Anyway, I am nearly 37 and apprehensive about telling anyone before I am 12 weeks and had my NHS scan which is 2 weeks today. Husband on the otherhand doesn't see any problem in it and wants to tell him mum who is heading abroad next week to spent christmas and new year with family in New Zealand. It is his mum's birthday tomorrow and we're going out for a meal. The thing is, I don't trust his mum not to say anything to her closest friend and I am sure the news will be around the entire village in about half an hour flat. I am just not ready - am I being unreasonable? Hubby thinks it will be fine once we get the scan tonight but I am just not sure.

Any tips? Opinions?

i didn't tell anyone about this pregnancy until after scan at 12 weeks. i think if i had had an earlier scan i would have told ppl then.

hi, welcome, and congratulations

If you're not ready to tell yet, then you're not ready. It's only two weeks, so surely he can keep his gob shut for a fortnight to make you happy?

I understand that he is over the moon and wants to shout from the rooftops, but if you're not ready then that should be that.

Tell him that you completely understand how he feels, but you want to keep this wonderful news a lovely, warm and cosy secret between the two of you just for a little while.

I can understand your husbands excitement and wanting to tell his mum but if you don't feel ready he has to respect that.

Congrats!

On my first I only told people who if it all went wrong I'd have told anyway.
it was about 15 weeks when we told 'people'

Given the season, how about you buy a 'To Grandma' Christmas card, and agree with your DH to post it to his Mum if 12 weeks scan comes back all OK? That should make it a very special way for him to tell her (and he can write it now if he's desperate) but lets you have your way too?

I told most people early tbh, but then I was quite ill so needed to.

I felt very similar to you...was 36 when I found out about the pregnancy, and although I was completely thrilled, a part of me was also very worried and I really wanted to wait until 12 weeks before we told anyone. Dh was bursting to tell his parents, but respected my wishes. It was actually a really lovely time, when just the two of us knew. If you feel really strongly, then talk to your dh again, although as mumofmonsters says, you may feel differently once you've had the scan and seen that there is actually a real wriggly little baby in there! Hope all goes well

This is perhaps a very negative way to look at things... but it was the way I looked at it so I thought I'd share...

I was quite ill early on in my pregnancy and had a couple of early scans. Once I'd seen from the scans that all 'seemed' to be ok, I decided to tell people.
I thought that if the worst did happen, then I would have wanted to tell people anyway so they understood and could support me.

I kept it to very close friends and family until after 12 weeks and made them promise to keep it quiet.

I guess what I'm saying is that if the worst did happen, then would you tell DH's mum anyway? If the answer is yes, then after the scan today if all is ok, I would think it is ok to tell her.

I understand where you're coming from. But I can understand DH's excitement too! I was the same as your DH!

Congratulations by the way!

Thank you everyone for your responses. Will see how things go later on. I love the idea of the grandma christmas card!

What did you decide?

We told her. Against my real wishes but she's promised faithfully not to say anything to anyone. She goes to NZ on Wednesday. She did cry and start shaking which was a lovely response so I just need to trust her now.

Ah that's lovely

Hopefully she won't let you down.

Hope you're doing well.

Congratulations!

I told only immediate family and asked them to keep it quiet, but DH's brother's wife told her parents, as did my nephew-in-law.
(It was a bit of a surprise to have people wish me congratulations when I hadn't told them and had in fact asked them to stay quiet.)

I took the attitude that i would rather tell people myself than have them find out thru other people. (I had morning sickness and was v pale for a few weeks, so people who i saw guessed anyway!)

Hope all goes well for you.

Congratulations!

I told only immediate family and asked them to keep it quiet, but DH's brother's wife told her parents, as did my nephew-in-law.
(It was a bit of a surprise to have people wish me congratulations when I hadn't told them and had in fact asked them to stay quiet.)

I took the attitude that i would rather tell people myself than have them find out thru other people. (I had morning sickness and was v pale for a few weeks, so people who i saw guessed anyway!)

Hope all goes well for you.