18 month old and pregnant!!

[annonymousrrr]

Hi ladies I will try to keep this short. So I have just seen two lines and I am shocked and quite abit upset. I have an 18 month old and a supportive husband.

My 18 month old isn't the easiest of babies, she gets out of her cot in the middle of the next and gets into bed with us. I just feel like shes quite hard work. Maybe its because I've never had any help from family and been quite isolated since she was born just before the lockdown.

My father passed away a few months ago and I just don't feel like im in the right frame of mind to have another child right now. I have quite alot of added responsibility following the passing of my father which is quite stressful. But then I think the pregnancy might be a sign/blessing from my father. I don't know I'm just all over the place right now.

Could really do with just someone to talk to.

Im just really

Hi @annonymousrrr

Have you spoken to your DH? A second child is a huge adjustment and if you don't feel ready for that there is no shame in making the choice that is right for you and your family.

That said, take your time, talk things through. It might also be helpful to seek some counselling and discuss your feelings with someone neutral x

Spoken to DH. He understands how I'm feeling and says he will support me whatever I choose to do.

If you've only just found out then give it a few days to sink in, give yourself a chance to get your head around the possibility of having another and then see how you feel. Hopefully, given a little time, your thoughts will become a little clearer. Don't panic, you have options.

I had a similar age gap, two years and two months. The pregnancy was hard. The early days were hard. But I'm glad now we had the age gap that we did.

I can appreciate that it's a difficult time after losing your dad, I lost my sister last year. It is what you want to make of it though. If it's not the right time, then you don't need to go ahead with the pregnancy.

Thank you for your reply. Yes i'll give it some time, the shock may ware off and I may think and feel differently. Thank you

Whatever decision you make OP will be the best one for you and your family. Sometimes the time just isn’t the right time.

I would say though that the jump between a baby of 18 months old and a toddler and 2 years and 3 months is immense… they are soooo much easier ( even the highly strung ones 🤣🤣 )
My DD is my 2nd and has never slept through the night - she’s nearly 2… I joke that if she was my first that I’d contemplate having another….. my first was a breeze compared to her.
But looking back at her despite the lack of sleep she’s sooo different to six months ago.

Sounds like you’ve such a supportive DH , you just need time to process and work out what is the best decision for you and your family

• toddler at 2 years 3 months

That id never have contemplated having another I mean. Oh the typos of being tired 🤣

A lot will change in the next 8 months and your wee one doesn’t sound really hard work. My grandson was still being breastfed and cosleeping when my dd got pregnant again and they all coped. She got bad hyperemesis and he was only 2 and a bit when his baby sibling was born. They all managed as you just do- and the age gap is lovely in the long term.

Mine are 2 years 2 months apart. DD didn’t sleep through the night until just before dc2 was born, so I was knackered! Luckily dc2 was a doddle, the complete opposite in every way!
Yes it was hard work but then having 2 children is hard work anyway!

Just to add OP, I have a 13.5 month old DS and am 7 weeks pregnant with DC2. My pregnancy was planned but I'm still worried about how difficult it is going to be, it's only natural. However, our circumstances are different in that I have family support which makes a huge difference. I couldn't imagine having 1 child, let alone 2 without them to help out. Whatever you decide will be the right decision for you and your family x

I've just found out I'm pregnant too and my DS is a month older than yours. DH and I were planning another baby but both shocked it happened this early.

To be honest, I was awake until 3am last night worrying about how I'd cope with two under 3 on top of work and on top of a qualification that I'm studying for. I had just, in the last couple of months, started feeling like I was getting myself back a bit after 2 1/2 years of pregnancy and breastfeeding and motherhood, so to now be gearing up for the same again does feel frustrating in some ways.

I ended up making a list of things I wanted to sort out in the next few months - eg, getting DS to a stage where he can fall asleep without me in the room; seeing if we can bring his starting nursery forward so he's settled before new baby arrives; think about how to tell him and any books/presents from new baby/dolls etc that might help; defer some parts of my course, etc. Just writing it all down and thinking that I should have 8 months to sort it all out made it feel a bit less overwhelming.

Everyone's situation is different though, and I think finding out you're pregnant is often a huge shock. Go easy on yourself and no need to make any big decisions today, or even this week.