Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Flip

Original poster

Commuting whilst pregnant in COVID world

19 replies

Bumblebee1812 · 01/08/2021 20:10

Hi everyone, I'm hoping for a sense of what's normally in our circumstances.

I've recently found out I'm pregnant. My husband and I both commute into London (it's 1.5-2hours each way, exceptionally busy on the trains with very little ventilation). We have both worked from home during the pandemic, but both our employers will shortly expect people to return to the office. We have a home office with exactly the same set up as we both have in the office (if not better) with three screens each etc.

I spoke to my midwife for my last pregnancy and she said if you can both work from home you should to reduce the risk of catching COVID whilst pregnant. My husband is not happy about this, as he feels it won't go down well with his employer / will hold him back in terms of career progression (he is due a promotion next April). I would have thought most companies who employee professionals who can work from home would be reasonable in the situation, but I guess my question is am I being unrealistic/what would you do? I should add we both work very long hours and at present seem to be viewed as hard workers, so I don't think our outputs would be questioned. TIA x

OP posts:

AnonymousXXIX · 01/08/2021 20:14

Has his manager actually confirmed this? Sounds like he might be worried about something that's not actually a real thing. There's a difference between feeling professional pressure, and it really existing.

Also is a hybrid situation possible, where you sometimes go, for important things, but not fulltime? If you're both fully vaccinated and travel off-peak then that might be an alright compromise?

Taenia · 01/08/2021 21:23

Will entirely depend on your employer.. mine is happy for me to remain working at home whilst I'm pregnant - we weren't due to return until the autumn when I reach the 3rd trimester. So its in line with the guidelines about working from home at 28 weeks as I also have a surpressed immune system due to meds.

DHs though won't entertain it at all as he's not the pregnant one..

Original poster

Bumblebee1812 · 01/08/2021 22:09

Thanks both for your experiences and thoughts.

His company are very supportive, but equally traditional and I think he worries. Will see how the conversations go.

OP posts:

UpToMyElbowsInDiapers · 01/08/2021 22:19

I would encourage him to have the conversation and try to get him to role play it with a peer (or you!) first if he’s nervous about it.

I was in a similar situation a few months ago where some people in my DH’s org were being called back to work in the office (for absolutely no reason but for the fact that his employer is “old school”). He hates to rock the boat and is very ambitious, and was reticent to have the conversation with his employer. I ended up putting it to him pretty bluntly: “I love you deeply. That said, if you can’t drum up the courage to have a conversation about working from home until after the baby is born, you end up bringing COVID home, and we lose the baby or I end up in intensive care… I’m not honestly sure our marriage would survive that. Maybe your employer won’t be accommodating. If so, we’ll figure out the right precautions. But I don’t think I can handle knowing that you’re not even willing to broach the topic.”

He DID have the conversation, and was able to work from home until last week (DS is two months old), with no real push back.

DH and I also got our first vaccines in my last few weeks of pregnancy, which also helped reduce the stress a bit.

HalloHello · 01/08/2021 22:28

If you've only just found out you're pregnant then you have plenty time to plan this. There is no guidance about working from home until 28 weeks. Are you already vaccinated?

SmidgenofaPigeon · 01/08/2021 22:31

I’m 33 weeks and still commuting on the tube myself. Working from home not ab option.

Any reason why you wouldn’t think a double vaccination wouldn’t set your mind at rest?

Greytminds · 01/08/2021 22:36

I’d get the vaccine, and then I’d tell my employer I was pregnant. I’d share with them the recent stats that highlight the dangers and I’d ask for a risk assessment to ensure that they were supporting me. I’d probably push for some time WFH if possible, with a review at 28 weeks when the risk increases.

Realistically I’m not sure that WFH needs to extend to your DH. He should be able to continue to manage his risk in the usual way and of course get vaccinated ASAP if he isn’t already.

MissChanandlerBong22 · 02/08/2021 08:50

I’m in a similar situation. My employer expects people back in the office from early September. I’m having a risk assessment this week but my manager has indicated he’s happy for me to keep working from home.

But my DH starts a new job this week (in London). His new employer supports part-time home working but I don’t feel I can ask him to ask them to allow full-time home working from the get-go. He’s double vaccinated and I know he’ll be conscientious about social distancing.

I’m also going to get the vaccine to protect myself.

lljkk · 02/08/2021 09:01

OP: how did your last pregnancy go, and does that mean you haven't been vaccinated yet, what is gap from last pregnancy to this one, when did you converse with midwife (guidance may have changed since then)? Also I ask because having a child to look after could mean additional, like if child attends nursery where you work not near your home (or nearer home). Did you have bad morning sickness last time, Do you have a nanny?

A1b2c3d4e5f6g7 · 02/08/2021 14:30

I'm working in London also, and 13 weeks pregnant. So far, just back in half of the week. As far as I know, we are expected in until 28 weeks, and it looks like the guidance on 28 weeks could change with vaccinations being almost rolled out. I am hoping to get my first vaccine dose soon.

As far as I know, home working is only granted to the one whose pregnant, so partners are still having to go in

A1b2c3d4e5f6g7 · 02/08/2021 14:35

Oh also as someone else mentioned, my office is allowing you to travel at less busy times. We have core hours that everyone needs to be in for (10.30am to 4pm) and you can change your start and leaving time so you're not travelling peak time. That could be something you could both ask for. So I can do 10am to 6 pm for example and avoid the main rushes

SmidgenofaPigeon · 02/08/2021 14:35

I don’t think it’s a reasonable expectation at all for partners to also be able to work from the home.

gogohm · 02/08/2021 15:26

Depends on your office, if your employer can give you a private office/ screened space which is risk assessed as safe they are under no obligation to consider your commute - you chose to live so far away. We e been back full time since Easter here.

Aranciata · 02/08/2021 16:02

It depends on your employers.
I had IVF so DH and I pretty much isolated before egg collection and transfer as it would have been cancelled if we had caught covid at that point.
Since then I've continued working from home as that's what my work is doing for now, but DH has been abroad for work a few times and travelled within the UK and didn't think of changing those plans.
It was complicated from a pregnancy sickness point of view but he wouldn't work from home for the duration of my pregnancy.
We will think about him working from home closer to my due date as I'd prefer not to risk either of us catching covid then.
He will soon be double-jabbed.

SouthwestSis · 02/08/2021 17:40

Certainly would be reasonable to ask that your partner works mainly from home once you are in the third trimester, if he has a firm idea of what he wants before he asks and makes clear what are nom negotiable for him then he's more likely to get what he wants, good luck!

Original poster

Bumblebee1812 · 02/08/2021 19:29

Thanks everyone. He's reached out to his HR department to ask what their stance is on such circumstances, so we will see what they say.

I think the altered hours might be a good option for him. I'm currently working very long days (finishing at 10pm/11pm and sometimes starting at 5am/6am), so I actually think my employer would rather keep me home right now (irrespective the pregnancy) to get more out of me.

On the question about my last pregnancy it wasn't at all as bad as some peoples, but it also wasn't great. I bled throughout and had additional observation at times for various reasons. Work was also very busy back then (just not as bad as now) and so I missed out on the chance to enjoy the pregnancy really. Really hoping to be a bit stricter with myself and to not work quite as much this time round!

OP posts:

Original poster

Bumblebee1812 · 02/08/2021 19:32

Our nursery is near our home. No nanny here I'm afraid and I've had my first vaccination.

I'm not sure that it matters, but I've also had long COVID which seems to be getting better now thankfully (brachycardia, tachycardia, chest pain, low oxygen in blood at times), so I really do not want to get it again! I've had a 24 hour ECG recently and my heart is back to normal.

OP posts:

Original poster

Bumblebee1812 · 02/08/2021 19:34

@MissChanandlerBong22

I’m also going to get the vaccine to protect myself.

Glad you're manager is being flexible. It makes all the difference if it is possible.

OP posts:

lljkk · 02/08/2021 21:17

What hours does your LO attend nursery now?
I'm confused how you both are working 5am-10/11pm & have only nursery as childcare.

Most people would plan a career break in your position.

Flip