AIBU- dp has unrealistic expectations on having a new born.

[SpottyZebra492]

Baby due in a few weeks. DP will get 2 weeks off from work.
I am nervous about when he returns and managing everything on my own. DP works evenings and one of my older DC's has quite challenging behaviour (ADD) so I will need to be on top of things and run a tight ship.

I suggested we get a load of frozen cook meals in to make life easier for me, DP says its a total waste of money (he won't be here at tea time so cooking/washing dishes and bedtime will be down to me)
I think its a worthwhile cost for an easy life for a short period of time whilst we establish a routine. We can afford it.....we love to eat out so this will be out the window for a while with a new baby, what we save there will easily cover this cost but he seems to think we/I can manage with tesco/aldi equivalents or that we should batch cook before the baby arrives.....I love his optimism....we have so much to do in our house before the baby arrives and cooking has made me nauseous the whole way through the pregnancy so I think the idea of me cooking loads of stuff before hand highly unlikely. I don't mind grabbing some bits from tesco to make up easy meals but I think it would be sensible to have a couple of meals in that require no thought what so ever that can be shoved in the oven and eaten with minimum fuss.
I even suggested that if he was that bothered by the cost I would suggest gift cards to friends and family who have been asking what to get us. My mum thought it was a great idea he just says its a rip off. I think something is worth what you are willing to pay for it and I think this is worth it. What would you do?

Honestly, if frozen meals will help you those first few weeks then buy them. He wont be there to help with any of this so what gets cooked is down to you. Therefore you get to decide.

I’d keep suggesting it as gifts. He can’t turn that down.
I’d also ask him to prep 2 weeks worth of meals for the freezer If he says no to that then ask him what his solution is

You pay a premium for the convenience of it. If that is worth more to you than cost (and honestly I don't blame you) then buy them. Either that or use deliveroo.

I have a 5 week old and a 4 year old. Frozen meals or easy teas will be needed. Suggest he batch cooks for you, then if he doesn't you can order the cook meals.

I think some of my worry is down to how cooking makes me feel right now. I HATE food at the moment. If someone cooks for me then I will eat it but my apatite is tiny and everything makes me feel sick and has done the whole way through the pregnancy. This may resolve once the baby is born, I guess I am just trying to think ahead.

I guess you are right he won't be here so won't know.

Tell him to crack in with the batch cooking but if he struggles to get it done by week 37 you’ll order the frozen meals in so no pressure.

I agree with @Blindleadingtheblind - buy the meals! A few easy meals is a very sensible thing to have on hand - if it takes a bit of stress off you, it’s worth it, @SpottyZebra492.

I wouldn’t have really asked permission.
You can afford it. He just doesn’t value it, as he isn’t having to cook.
Ask him to either do all equivalent batch cooking or just buy them:
I found them so helpful. Less expensive than a takeaway and felt healthier

Just give him a date a month before the due date for him to have stocked the freezer with 3 lots each of 5 different meals or whatever your goal is and say if that’s not done I’m buying frozen meals. I wouldn’t be discussing this. He’s not home to cook. I’m expecting my 3rd and dh will be cooking many evenings for us in the early days!

Hopefully the nausea will wear off once baby arrives. I think you get to vito this decision. He can batch cook before baby arrives as pp said. But if he doesn't he cant complain when you take matters into your own hands.

Just buy some frozen meals yourself. You dont need permission from him to start prepping. Am I missing something here?

Why exactly does he think he gets a say??

I think the first week home I lived off take aways 🤣🤦‍♀️

Usually I'm a big batch cooker but start of pregnancy I was too nauseatious and the end I was too big to reach the cooker 🤣

I mentioned them in passing conversation that I thought that it would be a good idea to get some in to have in the freezer and mentioned that they were pricey but worth it as cheaper than a take away and lot healthier. He was looking when we got home and was shocked at the cost......I was like for 4 of us its cheaper than going to Mcdonnalds (so I don't think it is that much!) and whilst its expensive compared to preparing and cooking a like for like meal yourself its a lot healthier than getting a take away.

As others have said, I am just going to do it. Not much he can do once I have bought them. I just didn't know if I was being extravagant. This is his first child and I think he is in for a shock when it arrives......he has no idea of the chaos that is about to ensue......I do

Do what you find easiest.

My dh has pretty much no say on the food shopping front, I do what works for me out of the household budget. I will be doing easy prep meals that can be left to simmer or bake. We'll be a family of 8 when baby arrives, not enough room in freezer to do batch cooked stuff beforehand and tbh I prefer fresh stuff. I have stocked up on fresh meat and frozen it so I can defrost as needed. Dh would say I'm a control freak due to my ocd, I like things done my way.

What would I do? I would order the meals! You don't need his permission!!!!