I would like some advice on anything and everything on becoming a parent

[Ash9]

Hello ladies
I hope you're all well.

I would like some advice, suggestions, stories that will help me. I am 26 going on 27 in a few months and married to my husband who I have been with 5 years. We feel ready to have a child, both in decent jobs and both happy in our relationship. As I would like to see myself as young, i would like any advice on what you would have wished you had done before children? How anyone who loves social drinking coped with pregnancy and breastfeeding? Does pregnancy feel very long? What is true feeling of delivering your baby into this world? Thank you so much in advance for anyone who takes their time to reply.

The most important thing to remember s trying to conceive, pregnancy and motherhood are all all very unique experiences depending on who you are, your life, your family, your character and so on...
What other people say doesn't really matter!
It is very personal.

But i would say the most important thing is having a partner who cares and want to go on this journey with you and a good stable relationship!
Also obviously do all the partying, spontaneous outings, and travelling (well with covid not great) so that you won't be missing it too much 😁
Can't comment on drinking but yes pregnancy does restrict you and it can be frustrating in many ways... and yes it is long!!!!
But absolutely worth it.
My daughter has literally changed my life for the better. It s a different kind of love and attachment and the feeling you created that tiny person and watching her grow is priceless.
Mine is only 3.5 months... might change my mind when she is 16 😂

Thank you @SunnySideUp2020 for taking the time to reply. I totally understand! You're right it would be different for everyone. I have an amazing partner so that should be fine.

That feeling of first holding your child must be amazing. Congratulations to you on your baby 👶 i definitely long for the moment the child would arrive rather than the pregnancy! But i guess its all worth it to grow your child.

Hi @Ash9. I can't give much as am 31 weeks pregnant with my first (I'm 33) but thought I'd share my experiences of pregnancy..

I'd wanted a baby for years and years, am in a loving and stable relationship, career in great place, own my own flat, good family support. Despite all this I've still found pregnancy quite hard mentally. It feels like it's gone on forever, and I've found the restrictions around food and drinking harder than I thought especially now things are opening up again. I have wobbles when I think about how I won't be able to just jump on a plane or probably not get a lie I for a very long time & have questioned if it is the right decision a few times (which I feel horrific about even admitting). I've also had alot of anxiety around the affect on my career.
BUT I then feel my baby move and wiggle inside me and it passes :)
I guess the point I'm trying to make is I don't think you can ever be 100% emotionally prepared for it. Good to be sorted from financial/relationship/housing perspective but I don't think you'll ever be able to get your head around being totally ready for it as it is such a huge thing to happen. It is terrifying at times but also exciting and amazing! I think it's worth you and your DH deciding whether or not you are ready for your life to totally change. Good luck whatever you decide!

P.S. my other bit of advise would be have a look at the cost of local childcare/nurseries (if you don't have family who can help & would return to work). I had no idea how expensive it is & had quite the panic when I realised how much it is going to cost us over next few years. Would have helped to have known that before trying so we could have saved a bit more

@LunaDreams thank you for taking the time to reply and thank you for being so honest and open. We have travelled quite extensively over the years so not feeling the urge at the moment. Yes I am glad you mentioned career! Did your employer treat you any differently once you told them?
I have done a spreadsheet for the costs in my maternity and the full time childcare ( 2days each at both sets of grandparents then 1 day childcare)
Also my personal spending habits would probably be 0 when lifestyle changes with baby .

I'm another who hates pregnancy, but I love the baby stage so I see it as a necessary evil! I also hit my mega broody stage at around 27 and had my first at 28.

Personally I don't miss the drinking/socialising aspect as by the time I had my first I felt I'd spent a lot of time doing that and was honestly getting a bit bored with bars, pubs and clubs and festivals. I felt ready for something new! Not drinking for 9 months really isn't that hard if, like me, you are plagued with sickness and terrible heartburn! A glass of milk and some gaviscon goes down a treat and the thought of wine honestly turned my stomach.

My biggest piece of advice is try to relax and enjoy it. Babies can feel so overwhelming and there is so much conflicting advice out there. Just do what works best for you and don't get drawn into comparisons and what they "should" be doing (honestly don't buy the baby books. Your baby hasn't read them. Such a waste of time!). You will muddle through and one day you wake up and that tiny little bundle is suddenly an actual child chatting away to you and helping make breakfast and trying on his brand new school uniform ready for September and you just think...where have the last 4 and a half years gone?? Yes, this is me this morning! Enjoy it! I love my kids - they make me laugh and smile every single day and I'm so glad I have them.