When is too old?

[Abell123]

Hi
So the worse has happened. I fell pregnant at 43 and fetal medicine has basically told me that my fetus has no future, due to birth defects in addition to downs syndrome. I'm so upset, I've delayed pregnancy due to personal circumstances and fertility issues.
My partner and I were starting IVF but then, by chance, I fell pregnant. I was so made up and adjusting to the pregnancy to be told that I should probably think of terminating. I'm devasted.
I'm turning 44 soon and I don't know whether to try again (and possibly have to go through all this again) or just forget it and accept I will never be a mum.
Are there many successful pregnancies at 44/45?
Thanks.

My advice is to keep going if you can mentally, emotionally and physically. It's tough, but you will want to know that you tried everything. I'm 44 years old and 4 days from giving birth to my first baby (c-section). I had 5 losses before this pregnancy, 2 of them last year with the last one being Trisomy 13. I was not ready to give up. Noone can say what's to come, but you do have a chance. Take all the testing you can get, take supplements for egg/sperm quality, have a NIPT as early as possible with your next pregnancy. Prepare for the worst, but hope for the best. xx

I'm 43
I will be 44 when baby is born
Never give up

SOrry to hear that OP. I'm 43, TTC 11 yrs and my 1st pregnancy age 38 had trisomy 13. 2 further MC's and 2 rounds of IVF. I'm feeling the same and wondering whether to keep trying of not. 2 friends both had healthy babies at 44, which gives me hope, but I do think getting a dog might be more realistic for us. Do what you think is right for you.

It's risky. It's risky, I will say that. But it can be done.
If a woman conceives at age 25, the risk of the resulting child having Downs syndrome is 1 in 1250. If conception is at age 40, the risk is 1 in 100, and by 45, it has risen sharply to 30.
If you're willing to take on these risks, sure. Go for it. There are many women who have been successful at that age, and you could be the next.
Just my few words of advice.

I'd do it at your age but would go for donor eggs instead of trying my own if I wanted to be more sure of having a successful healthy pregnancy with limited time to spare

@TheMumsyMumster

Everyone is different
I'm 43
And my risk of downs
Was one in 1250

So she doesn't always matter

Thanks all for your messages.
My head is all over the place. I was told 1/150 was high risk of Downs Sydrome, my blood tests showed 1/2 chance and the consultant (in fetal medicine) said, in his opinion, the fetus has downs sydrome which was the cause of the birth defect.
The Consultant recommended a CVS immediately, which I went ahead with as he was adamant it was down syndrome.
We had a call yesterday and the tests don't show Downs Syndrome (nor Edwards or Patau's) so now we are dealing with just the birth defect, which we don't know enough about until fetus gets bigger.
I cant handle this stress. I'm such a mess of emotions.

Is the birth defect compatible with life? Will it mean that your child will be disabled? How do you feel about that?

It's really hard and tests don't always give you a 100% correct answer, as you have found out
.

@Bitofachinwag

Is the birth defect compatible with life? Will it mean that your child will be disabled? How do you feel about that?

It's really hard and tests don't always give you a 100% correct answer, as you have found out
.

The CVS results suggest they are compatible with life. In terms of birth defect we have to wait until week 20. Another 6 week wait 😒

A relative had several miscarriages and Edwards syndrome but then had a healthy baby at 45. Don’t give up.

@LeftHanded88

A relative had several miscarriages and Edwards syndrome but then had a healthy baby at 45. Don’t give up.

Thank you. We need to see how this one is going first but I'm not going to give up hope whatever happens. All of this is certainly an eye opener.