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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Positive births. Where/how did you birth your baby?

30 replies

lolateddy · 28/07/2021 19:54

I'm starting to think about my birth plan. FTM here. I know things can change but I'd like an idea of how I'd like it to be. Pool births? Would you recommend?
Would love to hear some positive stories of different births.

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FreshApricot · 28/07/2021 20:17

I really recommend two books by Milli Hill - The Positive Birth Book and Give Birth Like a Feminist. Lots of great advice and empowering information in both.

The pool can be lovely. Your own choices matter. Remember: you can do it!

H8theW8 · 28/07/2021 20:24

I had an emergency section. Was booked to have an ELCS but went into labour 5 days early. It was a great experience, very calm and relaxed. It was the first op I'd ever had and was nothing like I expected.

The theatre was more of a room with a bed rather than the sterile, whitewashed environments you see in TV.

The staff were all amazing and made me feel so comfortable and at ease.

The bed is very narrow and they tilt you back slightly which I hadn't anticipated, felt like I was going to slide off.

I hope everything goes smoothly for you when the time comes but if you do find yourself in theatre, don't worry, you'll be in great hands x

mumofmunchkin · 28/07/2021 20:49

Doing a birth plan is a great time to think through your options and consider what choices you would like to make if you can, while you have the time to do your research and consider things calmly.

I had a really good experience with a water bath with my 3rd, would definitely consider that again. Staying active during labour is good too, and if you don't need to be monitored your midwife is likely to encourage it.

Do some research into which painkillers you would prefer if you choose to go that route during labour. Most people prob start with gas and air, if you need more would you rather move from that to pethidine or epidural.

Think about what music you might listen to during labour, what you want to wear etc. Hold in mind that when it comes to it you might not want to listen to anything, might not want to get changed etc.

Talk to your partner /the dad about whether they want to be at the business end or at your head, do they want to cut the cord.

Consider whether you want managed third stage and/or vitamin K injection for the baby.

Do some research into assisted delivery (from reputable sources!) so that if they start talking forceps or ventouse you have an idea what's going on. It's not unusual to need assisted delivery, especially first time, but you don't want the first time you hear about it to be on the day when everyone is stressed about getting a distressed baby out safely and doesn't have much time to explain properly.

I've had three births and each time the midwife has read through the birth plan, but has never followed it blindly. They've always asked me what I want during labour as you can't always predict how you will feel and certainly can't predict how the labour will go. There are options though, and it's so worthwhile to do your research and consider your preferences beforehand.

Katieandthekids · 28/07/2021 20:54

My twins were born under emergency c section. It wasn't as expected and I've never been so scared as I thought one of my twins was dying. They were both born safe, healthy and perfect. It was the most terrifying, beautiful and joyfull experience of my life. As will your birth story be however it unfolds Smile

Katieandthekids · 28/07/2021 20:55

And I'm pregnant again just under two years later Smile

mumofmunchkin · 28/07/2021 20:57

Just realised you asked for birth stories and I didn't give any. 2nd and 3rd were really positive experiences.

2nd I went into labour spontaneously, was admitted to hospital (midwife led unit) at 4cm dilated and started gas and air. Stayed mobile, bouncing on the birthing ball, husband rubbing back, midwife brought me a heat pack for backache. About 3 hours later I felt I couldn't cope, asked for more painkillers. Decided on pethidine, midwife went off to get it, injected it and then stood back and asked if I was pushing, I realised I was, 5 mins later the baby was born (and then the pethidine hit). Had some stitches for tearing.

3rd baby was induced at 10 days overdue. Started contracting straight away from the pessary, sent husband home to sleep, called him back and moved to the midwife led unit some hours later when I got to 4cm dilated and started with gas and air. Midwife offered to fill the birthing pool and I agreed, intending only to labour in it and not to give birth in it. My husband suggested I change into the nighty I'd brought for the purpose and I growled at him to sod off. Water Bath was full about an hour later and I got in, still with gas and air. Water felt amazing and I announced my intention of never getting out. I started pushing 20 mins later, baby born in the water a few mins later. I scooped him up out of the water and we had snuggles. I did need stitches again.

sleepyhoglet · 28/07/2021 21:01

Id recommend the 'be open minded' plan from someone who tried it all and ended up with an epidural!

PolkadotSkies · 28/07/2021 21:36

I had two planned sections. Both births were calm and wonderful and very positive. Recovery was really fast, in fact I was back to normal much sooner than some friends who had vaginal births.

It's great to have a plan of what you'd like in an ideal world but I'm not sure people can advise on that as it's so personal and depends on not only your preferences but the specific balance of risks in your situation.

It's also good to have backup plans if things may not go the way you hoped, so that you can still have a birth that you feel comfortable with even if it's not your ideal, and so that your birth partner knows what you want to happen in specific situations and can advocate for you.

Zarene · 28/07/2021 21:40

I adored my birth - technically an ELCS, but it was only planned on the day it happened so all a bit of a rush.

A bit of a shock when I was told it was going to happen, but when it did it was amazing.

Very calm, fantastic staff, no pain and a very quick recovery.

I went from walking into the hospital to cuddling DD in about an hour.

Quietcrown · 28/07/2021 21:54

One of mine was great. I had an ELCS and everything was so calm and positive, and the surgical staff were lovely. I recovered from the surgery quickly too!

Sexnotgender · 28/07/2021 22:00

@FreshApricot

I really recommend two books by Milli Hill - The Positive Birth Book and Give Birth Like a Feminist. Lots of great advice and empowering information in both.

The pool can be lovely. Your own choices matter. Remember: you can do it!

Second these recommendations! Milli Hill is excellent.

I gave birth 3 months ago and it was great. Had irregular contractions overnight, managed some sleep and breathed through them.

Went to hospital just after 9am and had my daughter in the birth pool just after 10.

Gas and air is amazing!

Rosa607 · 28/07/2021 22:17

I had a really positive birth with my first baby :) I should note that it turned out totally different to my birth plan but for my upcoming birth I would want it to be the same. My plan was all of the drugs / anything...in reality there was no time for any pain relief but I wouldn’t have it any other way as I had no interventions and I was in the shower 30 mins later and home the same day. I almost took some pethidine but they ran out of time and honestly think if I had I’d have been too tired to push and would have needed help.

I did get time to go in the pool which id highly recommend, I kind of rolled my eyes when midwife suggested it as I was fully dilated and thinking there’s no way a bloody bath will help but it really did!

PurpleFlower1983 · 29/07/2021 07:00

Both of mine were really positive experiences but one was more conventional than the other.

The best advice I had was stay at home as long as you can so with DD my waters went at 2.30am in bed, contractions started at 6am and we went to the hospital when then ramped up to 2-3 minutes apart. We arrived at the hospital at 4.30pm and I got in the pool around 5pm when I felt bearing down and started having the urge to push. DD was born at 6.47pm after a very calm and relaxing water birth with calming music, mood lighting etc. I had gas and air. We were home later that night, great experience.

What I didn’t account for is that gas and air can slow the end process so with DS (born last Sunday) when I started having those bearing down contractions at home I thought I would have longer. I’d been to hospital the night before with leaking waters and contracted gently through the night until 2am when they ramped up a bit. They became very painful at 6am 3 minutes apart so called the birth centre. She suggested I wait half an hour at take more paracetamol. We waited 15 minutes and set off. In the car I knew we had left it too long, waters went in a massive gush in the car and I had to start pushing. DS was born by the bus stop outside the hospital doors, delivered into my husband’s T-shirt, his head was out on the hobble to the hospital and a passing midwife assisted the final part of the delivery. All very dramatic but ok! We were home by early afternoon.

Plan ahead but expect the unexpected I would say!

Sexnotgender · 29/07/2021 08:18

Gosh that’s dramatic @PurpleFlower1983! Glad you’re all ok and congratulations Flowers

I didn’t know G&A slowed the final stage? I went from 5cm to baby in arms in about 1/2 an hour using G&A😂 don’t think I’d have wanted it to be much quicker.

PurpleFlower1983 · 29/07/2021 08:45

@Sexnotgender

Gosh that’s dramatic *@PurpleFlower1983*! Glad you’re all ok and congratulations Flowers

I didn’t know G&A slowed the final stage? I went from 5cm to baby in arms in about 1/2 an hour using G&A😂 don’t think I’d have wanted it to be much quicker.

I don’t think it always does but I think it can do. That’s pretty speedy!! Grin
boymum88 · 29/07/2021 08:55

First was a bad experience as ds was born at 28+1 in Italy ( wasn't planned had just got off plane to go to a friends wedding and have a wee babymoon) the actual birth was ok no pain relief and quick went to the hospital at 1.30 with slight bleeding he was born at 18.30 with legs up

2nd ds was born at 39+1 in the birth centre. Waters went at 16.45 no contractions until 17.15 and they came thick and fast every three mins, got to the hospital at 17.45, straight into a massive room with a pool, I was on my own as Dh was waiting for child care to turn up. Used gas and air tired the pool but didn't like it so was only in for about 10 mins. Dh arrived at 18.30 just as I was gettin out of the pool, then went to to the floor on all fours and had baby at 19.11. Dh stayed with us all night which was lovely and went home the following day at lunch time. All the midwifes were great and hands off just let us do our thing

FrogsHiccups · 29/07/2021 09:13

Another positive birth story here. Went in to Labour after a sweep at 40+6. Didn’t have a birth plan as such, was open to all options in terms of pain relief and intervention as I really trusted the professionals who were looking after us to help guide us with any decisions we might have to take. They were present and helpful throughout but pretty much let nature take its course. Had baby in midwife led unit in a birthing pool. I genuinely felt amazing after I gave birth and felt like I could take on the world 😂

PinkPlantCase · 29/07/2021 09:27

I had a lovely home birth in a pool that we’d hired with my first and so far only baby, he’s 6 weeks old at the minute!

It was all very hands off, no vagina examinations, no coached pushing, I could be in whatever position I wanted. My body just did it’s thing Smile

I stroked his head as it crowned. I scooped him up from the water and we had skin to skin for hours, he briefly went to DH as I delivered the placenta also in the pool. It was really quite special and he was so chilled!

I’m so glad we had the birth pool, looking back it felt like it protected the space around me. I also think it made the pushing easier, I did have a tear but didn’t feel it at all at the time.

Aside from my birth I think it’s really important that women educate themselves about induction. It seems that a lot of them happed unnecessarily and can lead to worse outcomes for women which are rarely discussed before hand. Sarah Wickham has a great book where she reviews data from research in relation to the different reasons why an induction could be recommended.

PinkPlantCase · 29/07/2021 09:30

I was also on such a high afterwards. I hadn’t had any drugs or gas and air. I announced to DH that you couldn’t buy drugs this good 🤣

I also forgot to say in my post before that I had a birth plan that derailed my preferences for every eventually.

Deloresabernathy · 29/07/2021 09:32

Please go in with an open mind and a willingness to discard the plan if needed.

Giving birth is like McDonald's drive through, you ask for what you want, but you get what you're given.

Perpop · 29/07/2021 09:57

Would really recommend the positive birth company hypnobirthing course (covers everything to do with birth, pain relief, positions, support and is evidence based) - I’m almost finished and due from 7 weeks onwards. There’s a really helpful birth preference document with lots of ideas to help you make choices! Best of luck :)

SillyBry · 29/07/2021 11:36

I birthed in a birthing centre, attached to a major hospital. For me, I wanted to be near the labour ward, "just in case".
I had pre-labour/early contractions for about 24 hours, ended up going in at 3.30am and was given a birthing room.
I managed at home with my ball and a Tens machine. They gave me gas and air once I was admitted and they checked I was 4cm.
I then passed the next 3-4 hours moving around the room and on the bed, using the gas and air.
I started to tire and they offered me some pethidine, which I accepted. I'm not sure I would again as it made me feel very drunk and not really in control of my pain... but it did allow me an hour's sleep... then when I woke, it was more serious. Eventually my waters broke at about 9.30am and by 11am, I started pushing. Baby was born at 11.48... I did have a tear, but I didn't notice it and it healed really well/didn't bother me.
My midwife was really funny and lovely - the environment felt relaxed and calm... and we were left in the birthing room as a family until about 5pm when I was moved up to the ward and hubby went home.

I can only hope this time around is as straightforward!

Superscientist · 29/07/2021 11:42

My birth plan was started with gas and air and pool if available and then open to suggestions. The guidance I gave my partner was to help me make decisions that kept me as calm as possible.

In the end my waters broke at midnight I went in to be checked I wasn't feeling contractions but they could see them on the monitor. If I wasn't contracting I would have been offered a sweep. They got consultant approval for this as I was 38 weeks and pre 40 weeks the Drs need to approve it at my hospital. I was booked in for an induction at 10pm that night and they would call me at 6pm to check progress.
However, by 3 am I could feel the contractions 3 in 10minute and about 30 seconds long. By 7 am the were 60 seconds long so I woke up my partner to take me to be checked as instructed. I was 2 cm. I was home about an hour before I couldn't cope with the pain so called and begged to go back in. The midwife that examined me earlier was running the mlu and said I could come in even if I wasn't 4 cm. It's a good job she did as I was fully dilated on arrival and ready to start pushing. She was born within an hour of arriving at the mlu in the pool with a little bit of gas and air!
I had wanted lunch before going back in but my partner insisted. I was getting a bit obsesses that all I needed was a poo and then I would be more comfortable. My partner remember that this was a sign of imminent birth!

littleselda · 29/07/2021 11:47

1st baby was a nice relaxing water birth
2nd baby was born outside in the hospital parking lot - not so fun

BiBabbles · 29/07/2021 12:03

I've had good births at home & in hospital. 95% of it came down to the people involved - having a good supportive birth partner who can help you get your needs met is important. Finding out what you can do if there is an issue with the HCPs on the off chance you get an asshole is something I always recommend. The other 5% came down to my body which is a dice roll each time.

With all four of my kids, I spend the second stage on all fours with my head pressed against something soft-but-firm (mattress/back of an upholstered chair that I was kneeling on). I tried water with my first, but it just wasn't for me - I also don't find baths relaxing so that wasn't surprising. Heat packs were magic for my births, both on my lower back and with one back-to-back birth on my public bone - one actually broke in one labour but the midwife made a makeshift one for me, it was lovely.

The best birth plan I had was basically I'm scared and brief reasons for why, these are my medical conditions/history that may affect my labour/birth (disabilities and, having a trauma disorder, I had a couple relevant triggers to list), these are what helps me cope that I may need help with, and a few of the most important things to me. It was a list of bullet points I tried to get as brief as possible. One bullet point ended up being debated, delaying the 3rd stage injection was not liked, but I was well support in that I think in part because I had few requests and I was flexible in knowing it might be required before the placenta came and was happy for it after if the HCPs felt it was needed which is what happened as I had an enlarged placenta (the midwife's reaction to the size of it has stuck with me, literally bloody thing took over the table of tools as it didn't fit in the bag at least on the first try).

You can talk to your antenatal midwife about what is standard in your area so you don't need to put in anything that lines up. I remember with my first filling in one of those birth plans that was pages long and 85% of it was standard practice unless there were exceptional circumstances, so I tried to get down to what was most important to me and didn't fit that standard.

Most of the birth plans and preferences lists were filled with things that I ended up not caring much about - my entire 'if it goes tits up' section with my youngest was that I appreciate being kept informed of what is going on (which may be standard, but was really important to me) and 'Because of the above conditions, general anesthetic is preferred over spinal anesthetic for a c-section or manual placental removal'. The rest I knew would have to made with the limitations of the circumstances at the time - I might have wanted prolonged skin to skin post-birth, but in 3/4ths of mine, the placenta caused an issue which meant the baby had to go to my spouse or a HCP so my well-being could be focused on (my births all went great, the only 'intervention' I needed was some shifting of my body to help them out with a couple of mine...the babies I make were fine, I just also make troublemaking placentas).

The choices in these lists aren't always practical on the day, so I think rather than focus on how you want it to go which is part of the dice roll, think about your needs and what will help you cope for better or worse and learning about the labour process like the transition panic (hormonal changes between 1st and 2nd stage can feel similar to panic which can cause more panic - and knowing doesn't always stop that panic) and third stage which is often very minimal in a lot of writing so you can have a bit more handle if these things come your way. Hopefully it goes as well and comfortably for you as possible!

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