38 weeks pregnant and still no birth plan

[Holljns1]

Hello, I’m wondering if anyone can give me advice!
I’m 38 weeks pregnant I still haven’t discussed my birth plan with my midwife. I had a midwife appointment at 36 weeks, she told me she didn’t have time to do the birth plan here so she would ring me the week after. Still no phone call so I’ve text her multiple times and called. Today I’ve rang her number and she’s on annual leave until 2nd august which she didn’t tell me about! So my next appointment isn’t until 3 days before my due date
I’m really starting to become nervous it’s my first child so I have no idea what to expect.
I know obviously birth plans don’t always go to plan but I would really love to if I can have a water birth and I don’t want this to no longer be an option because the midwife has been neglectful.
What do I do? Do I wait until my next appointment at 39 + 4 ?! Or do I ring community midwifes

I'd ring community midwifes, there must be another mw covering for her while she's on holiday. She sounds pretty rubbish anyway, you might get a better one if you call while she's on holiday!

www.nhs.uk/pregnancy/labour-and-birth/preparing-for-the-birth/how-to-make-a-birth-plan/
Read through this it also gives you a template

If you have time I would read the positive birth book, it tells through all options and possibilities so your informed even if you don't get the exact birth you want. I would also call the community team, your care doesn't stop because shes away and you deserve a chance to discuss it. Try to pop your thoughts down on paper and not get to caught up in planning every small detail. Have a chat with your birth partner about what things are important to you like delayed cord clamping or managed third stage etc. You will be great! Good luck!

My midwife with my last pregnancy was like this. I also wanted a water birth but to be honest even if it is on your notes, unless you say it when you arrive at the hospital they won’t get the ball rolling. I know our local 2 big hospitals have birthing pools on a first come first served basis anyway and you cannot ‘book’ them in advance. Just really voice it the second you arrive there.

If it makes you feel more settled in the mean time you can print out a birthing plan template from online and fill this out with your wishes. Keep it in your labour bag with your other notes and stuff, and then if bubba arrives before your next appointment you’re golden.

I wouldnt worry about it. The birth plan is literally just some notes they scribble in your book. They don’t book pools or anything. Just tell them when you arrive to give birth.

No one ever discussed a birth plan with me, and I don't think there was any appointment where they were supposed to.

In my hospital if you have no complications you decide on arrival whether to go to the labour ward or the midwife led unit. There is a pool in every room in the MLU and just one on labour ward. If you need lots of monitoring or need to be induced, or just want the good painkillers, you automatically go to labour ward.

Read up on what happens in your area - you may not actually need to decide anything now.

Have you done any antenatal classes? If not you could do an online one (eg Positive Birth Company) or just read some books (eg the Positive Birth Book, Give Birth Like a Feminist).

You can write your own birth plan (I wrote "birth preferences" on mine as it obviously doesn't always go to plan!) I suggest you do your own research, write a draft birth plan, then if you have any questions you want to discuss with a midwife, call the community midwife team and ask for an appointment ASAP. Once you've finalised your plan you can show it to the midwives but also just put a copy in your birth notes folder. Also, crucially, talk through it with your birth partner (assuming you have one), make sure they know what's on it and can refer the midwife to your birth plan when you're in labour, just in case the midwife hasn't seen or checked it.

@everdaymumma

If you have time I would read the positive birth book, it tells through all options and possibilities so your informed even if you don't get the exact birth you want. I would also call the community team, your care doesn't stop because shes away and you deserve a chance to discuss it. Try to pop your thoughts down on paper and not get to caught up in planning every small detail. Have a chat with your birth partner about what things are important to you like delayed cord clamping or managed third stage etc. You will be great! Good luck!

Agree and found this book really good. Millie hill?

My hospital notes had a section at the back where you tick preferences - I did mine with my midwife. But if yours are the same it might help focus you.

I would research pain relief options. And then tell your partner what you do and don't want.

If you manage to go into spontaneous labour - they triage you when you arrive and at that point they decide which way is best depending on how you present. With my first I wanted a water birth and to move as much as possible. When I did go into labour there were a few risks flagged so had to be monitored and be doctor led.

Lastly if you can - I watched loads of one born every minute - great to see how things work in practice

Your midwife has no control on whether you can have a water birth or not, when you ring Labour just say you’d like to use the pool and if there’s one free brilliant. I think it’s a little far to say your midwifes been neglectful!

Have a read up on pain relief option and go with an open mind

I never discussed my birth plan with my midwife 🤷‍♀️. I googled one and wrote down the bits from it I liked.

I also wanted a water birth until my waters broke and I was contracting every other minute. I then abandoned this and requested my epidural!

I understand the desire to write one as a first time parent but honestly, mine didn't even leave my hospital bag when I was in labour. Mine specified that my daughter was handed to my husband in the event of an emcs, which I actually had, and neither me or him were handed her for over an hour.

They really don't care about birth plans when you're there in my experience. Next time, my only preference will be for them to stop me having a haemorrhage again.

Don't watch One Born Every Minute!!

Literally write a list of wants ie water birth, skin to skin, when you want to feed and how etc

And a list of things you don’t want ie no gas and air, no bright lights on in the room etc.

All examples everyone is different.

That’s what I do. It’s much easier for the midwife to glance over rather then an essay. A water birth will be fine if you’re not high risk and your hospital has a water room free.

Be very open that things can change. If you need constant monitoring you may not be allowed in the water but you have no idea until your there.

Chances are you won’t even see your midwife when your in labour!

My midwife didn’t even look at mine.

Not bothering this time!

I've never had a birth plan for either of my 4 children. Sometimes it's easier to go with the flow and see what happens then you ddon't get disappointed when things don't go to plan
Sorry you feel let down, the midwives are completely stretched at the moment like the rest of the NHS

Birth plan is more for your benefit, in neither of my births did anyone actually look at it as far as I am aware.

Whether or not you have a water birth will depend more on how much assistance you require and also if they have a pool available for you on the day.

Just keep yourself as informed as possible and just see what happens on the day.

I never wrote anything down just said to the midwife who booked me in that I wanted an epidural as soon as possible and would be formula feeding from the start. The midwife then rang the anaesthetist to book the epidural and DH gave the first bottle

I think it's more important to know where you are giving birth e.g. MLU tend to have better facilities such as birthing pools for each room, double bed, en suite bathrooms whereas hospitals tend to have fewer of these types of facilities but can provide stronger pain killers such as epidurals. Once you're in labour they tend to ask what you want /need and let you know your choices if things go wrong. When I had my now 4yo the midwife actually laughed when I asked if she wanted my birth plan and said "the plan is to deliver your baby safely" - no one even so much as glanced at it. I didn't bother the second time!

I made one with midwife last appointment except, all she did was talk through options. No plan was made. In all honesty I’m fine with that, last birth was completely taken out of my hands induction, forceps, nearly a c section so happy to just go with it this time. I know very few people’s births that have gone to plan and the less set on things you are the easier it seems to deal with it.

I told mine no plan but had some wants like I would like to try a water birth- I didn't want to be disappointed if I couldn't have a natural birth - I told them epidurial as I have a thing about my back nerves. Just write a list of your wants and put it in your notes?

I wrote my birth plan solo for my first birth.

Important things to write - any significant medical history, allergies or complications. (They have it all in your notes anyway, but I feel it's worth having it again.)
Anything you feel very strongly about e.g. delayed cord clamping, direct skin to skin time, if you have any concerns about students being present etc.
Who your birthing partner will be. If you give permission for anyone else to be in the room - e.g. husband will be my birthing partner, but if required, I give permission for my mum to take his place.
If you want dad to cut the cord etc, plan to breast or bottle feed.
Then your birthing wishes - e.g. active labour, happy to use gas & air. Would be open to trying a water birth, would rather avoid pethidine, open to an epidural etc.
If you google it, you will find plenty of examples, but I wouldn't worry too much as it's very much only a guideline as your birth will dictate what happens more than a piece of paper :-)

I don’t even know who even looks at these birth plans. All the midwives just asked me all the same questions again once I was in the hospital. I wanted a water birth and the midwives in the delivery suite didn’t know this. Don’t know what the point of the birth plan was!

The best thing I did was discuss my preferences with my partner so that he was very clear what I wanted and could advocate for me, and make my preferences known to the midwives. I don’t remember anybody looking at the document I’d carefully written but both he and the midwife fought to make sure my preferences were respected when things went pear shaped. Best of luck with the birth OP!

You have your birth plan there then! Just tell them when you arrive you want a water birth

My 'birth plans' (more like a few bullet points) were done at the hospital when I went it to give birth 🤷🏼‍♀️

Unless you want a homebirth and want them to put you down for that, no need. Just know what you'd like and get your partner to be your support.