Advice on hospitals/birth choices

[Dilemma8188]

Hi everyone,
Apologies in advance as I'm not quite sure how to phrase this but hope it's vaguely clear (and doesn't sound too bitter!!)

I had a pretty awful birth at Lewisham hospital first time round due to lack of staff, resources, denied pain relief and being forgotten about on the antenatal ward. The actual physiological birth was smooth but I was left depressed and shocked by the shoddy treatment.
Anyway, here I am pregnant again but having sworn that if it it happens I'm giving birth in France where I have family but also where the done thing is to have an epidural (by and large there is more of a focus on the woman's comfort and postpartum health - Drawing on all my family and friends' experiences).
Covid and logistics mean that I might find myself yet again stuck in Lewisham. I had a not very promising meeting with the midwife who brushed away my concerns saying that I'd been unlucky and when I mentioned C sections and pain relief went on about the benefits of vaginal birth, how lucky I was to have experienced it, clearly disapproved of epidurals and went on about "breast is best".
While I respect that a lot of women are keen on this, I personally really want to avoid a "natural birth" advocate-type midwife and a hospital who seems to have a policy of encouraging non-medicalised child birth. I can't help feeling that it's very much a question of saving money.
Can anyone recommend a hospital in the SE or even a charity I can speak to that explicitly respects women's choices and doesn't push the former? Is that a nationwide policy? I really feel like every time I see a midwife, I'm going into battle, I really want to find a service/department where I feel like the focus will be on my choices and welfare without another agenda...
I'm so lost as to whom to speak to and am having a hard time trusting anyone associated with the hospital. Thank you!!

Sorry to hear you had a bad experience. I can’t talk from personal experience yet as in my first pregnancy but so far any care I’ve had at Pembury in Tunbridge Wells has been great and I’ve heard so many good things about giving birth there so pleased I will be. I live in Kent after moving out from SE so am registered to give birth there but when I did my maternity self referral form at the beginning of pregnancy they mentioned out of area referrals (although at the time suspended due to COVID but this may have changed now) so maybe possible you could switch to there if it’s not too far to travel? Depending on where you are in lewisham it may not be as far as you think (coming from a Kent to London commuter!) or possibly even consider PRU in Bromley although I don’t know again if you can if you don’t live in the area and don’t know much about them except that they have a maternity ward. As I said first pregnancy so not sure how it all works or if something like that even possible but thought I’d mention.

Good luck, I hope the whole experience this time round is better for you wherever you end up giving birth.

www.birthrights.org.uk/campaigns-research/maternal-request-caesarean/

Birth rights is a really good website for this sort of thing. If it’s specifically a section you’re aiming for have a look at the link above. The NICE guidelines state you should be able to have one without any medical reason but unfortunately Lewisham has been rated ‘red’ out of red/amber/green by birth rights. If you go onto the map and click on it it will show you what their response was. They do seem to have some sort of policy in place but clearly not very much! I have just had my section approved and booked at another hospital (no medical reasons - first baby) and mine was rated ‘amber’ so it doesn’t mean you won’t get one, you might just need to fight them a bit harder on it

Sorry to hear about your experience.

Have you seen this thread, some of them may be able to advise.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/4126319-Lewisham-vs-St-Thomas-for-maternity

Thanks so much everyone! I had good things about Tunbridge Wells, if nothing else, you get a bit of privacy there. I'm also going to check Birthright. At the moment it feels like the only people I can go to our the very midwives I'm weary of! Thanks very much.