Early/missed miscarriage. Medicated.

[3yearstrying]

Hi everyone, i had a scan today that confirmed a miscarriage at around 7/8 weeks. Its heartbreaking after TTC for so long.
I just wondered what others experiences with medicated miscarriage were? I have had no symptoms so far so i think its the best option to get this done. Im scared of the outcome and im looking for some advice please!

I’m so, so sorry to hear about your loss. I know it’s so dreadful to get this news, and then keep having to make “medical” choices on top of it.
I miscarried at around 7/8 weeks, but I had a wee bit of retained tissue so I did two days of medication following. My situation was a bit different than yours, but IMO, that medication is phenomenal at getting all tissue out. Because I had already had the miscarriage, I was terrified of more cramps/contractions, but the ones from medication were much less painful.

If it were me, I think I would also opt for the medication because it will help you to move forward. Waiting for your body to figure it out, and then for it to start happening, etc. would be extremely stressful if it were me.

@ChaiTRex thank you for replying! I also feel its best as ive had no bleeding/cramps so my body hasnt realised the baby isnt progressing. Its awful but i now know i just need this over and to start again.

I appreciate your input

@3yearstrying I think that even though it will be hard, it will be easier than waiting… and knowing that the mmc is in there. It will provide more closure.
There’s absolutely nothing I can say to make things better, but I hope you stay strong and take good care of yourself. When I miscarried, I was devastated, but I was also so in awe that my body could get pregnant. I’m hoping everything goes smoothly for you next time ❤️

Hi @3yearstrying

So sorry to hear your experience. Sounds like we are in same boat, 3 years TTC, first baby. Missed miscarriage diagnosed on Friday at my 12 week scan. Had an early private scan to settle my nerves at 8 weeks and all was great- heard heartbeat and baby measuring perfectly but turns out they stopped growing right around that time. Going back to EPU tomorrow to decide on management and am absolutely terrified- I think the fear is actually out shadowing my grief at present. I have always had a huge fear of anything medical so even going into a hospital is massive for me. My gut feeling was medical management to avoid surgery but experiences I have read have been 99% awful and most people recommend d&c. Would love to hear more about your decision and experience (if you’ve made one)?

Will be thinking of you. It’s great to have this forum to feel a little less alone

@mrsm44 and @3yearstring I am so sorry for both your losses. I had a mmc earlier this year. Baby stopped developing at 7/8 weeks, only found out at 12 week scan. I went with the "natural" method, although I immediately started taking dong quai to help it along. After a week I started to bleed a little, daily. After 2 weeks I had a night where I spent half an hour on the loo bleeding and passing tissue. I mistakenly thought that was it. The next night ended up being the main event. I ended up in the bathroom for 4 hours bleeding constantly. I passed tissue, the pregnancy sac, the placenta (bigger and more solid than expected). It all seems really scary at the point you're at, not to mention the grief, but honestly your instincts take over and your body does what it needs to. Equally, going a medical/surgical route is a valid option. Do what feels right for you. You will get through this.

Hi @GeorgiaMcGraw. I’m so sorry for your loss too. Life is so so cruel sometimes…hard to get your head around why these things had to happen to us. I would love to follow your lead and wait for things to happen naturally but I’m a teacher and due back to work in 2 weeks…I know I could have time off if needed but feel for the sake of the children I need to be fit to return to work 😓 so need this over and done with. Thank you for your advice, it is really appreciated and reassuring to hear from someone who is out the other side of the physical side. I hope things go well for you next time if that’s something you hope for ❤️

So sorry for your loss . I had 2 medicated miscarriages, the first I waited 2 weeks to see if it happened naturally but it didn't. I took the pessaeies at home in the morning and just watched lots of Netflix all day with DP. It took a few hours for them to work and most of the bleeding happened in the afternoon and I wasn't in much pain by bed time. I'd recommend asking for a prescription for codeine and you can take that with paracetamol and ibuprofen (they all work in different ways so can be taken together). I also had a warm beanbag which helped. It was definitely less awful than I thought it might be. I think the codeine helps you feel a bit more relaxed too (I also had a small glass of wine in the evening!). Thinking of you. It's such a hard time but you will get through it.

@mrsm44

Hi *@GeorgiaMcGraw*. I’m so sorry for your loss too. Life is so so cruel sometimes…hard to get your head around why these things had to happen to us. I would love to follow your lead and wait for things to happen naturally but I’m a teacher and due back to work in 2 weeks…I know I could have time off if needed but feel for the sake of the children I need to be fit to return to work 😓 so need this over and done with. Thank you for your advice, it is really appreciated and reassuring to hear from someone who is out the other side of the physical side. I hope things go well for you next time if that’s something you hope for ❤️

Please don't pressure yourself to be back at work in any given time frame. I needed a good 2 weeks off after the main event, and I wasn't very capable for that first week back. I worked from home at that point and just kept bursting into tears. Everybody is different, but please take as much time as you need. You are going through something awful and serious, the last thing you need is guilt or stress about work.

Hi everyone, sorry for your loses, just an update i am over the worst now. @mrsm44 im sorry to hear this, its awful after so long trying to hear it but our time will come and we'll have our Rainbow babies.
I actually didnt need medication so far, it happened naturally 4 days after EPU told me the baby hadnt developed. It was one day of light bleeding and i am not going to lie to you, for me it was really awful. Like going through Labour for almost 2 days, contractions and lower back pain. As soon as i passed the sac on Monday the pain disappeared and now i have light spotting. I agree with @GeorgiaMcGraw completely, your body just takes over you'll get through it!
Also in terms of advice, @Starlight39 the beanbag/hot water bottle is a life saver!
Everyone is different, but have plenty of pain killers, and if you get contraction like pain, although its hard try walk a bit when they come on it does really help.
Hugs to everyone going through this!!