How do you get your head around the idea that you're having a baby?

[SpottyZebra492]

I am HUGE.....the baby doesn't stop moving yet I regularly forget I am pregnant. I walk past the mirror and see my bump, or the baby womps me and suddenly I remember.
I have older kids but I don't remember this being an issue with them. I can't get my head around the idea that we will have a baby in a few weeks time. It doesn't seem real. Sometimes it worries me that something will go wrong and I will still lose him. I guess we have spent so long the way we are that it seems bizarre that there is going to be another person in our house.

I just feel like I am worried about everything? We still have so much to do before he arrives and nothing seems to be getting done. I am worried I won't know what to do when he arrives, or that I won't love him. I don't feel like I have a bond with my bump. I am trying but this heat and how big I am just makes me grumpy. I have talked to people around me about my fears and they just keep brushing it off and telling me I will be fine.

I am also really scared of the birth......In my head I keep saying to myself "I've done it before so I know I can do it again" but I am scared of the pain and how I will manage it. What if I tear badly (happened before and the recovery was awful and took months) What if the baby gets stuck? he is huge already. What if I fall apart after DP goes back to work? I think its the pain I am most scared of. I am worrying a lot. I want to enjoy being pregnant, it does feel really special, I am just so scared of it all!!!!

bump

I think it's completely understandable to be terrified when you've had kids already. You know how tough things can be. But you also know you come out the other side. I can't speak from experience as I only have 1 dd and couldn't face doing it again, but I know I'd feel the same feelings you are feeling if I did do it again.

I am currently 38+4 and feel exactly the same as you, it still feels VERY surreal. I will be a FTM so cannot relate to previous pregnancies or anything but I still can't believe it is all happening even now, like you say, with a big bump getting in the way you would think that would be enough! I have been very organised with getting baby's stuff ready but I stare into his little nursery and still can't imagine that a little baby will be in there soon. I do think that sometimes it's just our coping mechanism. It's almost like a barrier we put up when everything feels overwhelming to us and it's like we put a block in place when we can't quite digest what is really happening. I think it is completely normal though and I just keep telling myself that I won't feel like this forever. If you are concerned then definitely speak with your midwife about how you feel but I reckon there are A LOT of women out there that can relate / feel exactly the same as us right now

I had my third child a year ago and I could have written your exact post: the pregnancy felt surreal and I found it hard to bond with the baby while she was inside. Nothing was ready nursery wise when she arrived (I had the equipment like cot and pram etc but her room was still uncarpeted /unpainted for a good few weeks post birth. I was worried about upsetting our dynamic of 4 and I was really scared of giving birth again after a 9 year gap BUT I want to reassure you that none of the things I worried about before she arrived became a reality. I had the easiest birth with her (and she was quite a big baby). I could honestly say it was one of the best experiences of my life. I fell in love with her within minutes of her arrival and my other DC’s now adore her (that did take a few weeks tho) and she has completed our family. The best thing I did was taking to my midwife about the feelings I had in the months leading up to the birth as she was a great sounding board and made me feel like these are really common feelings to have. With regards to coping after the baby comes try to be realistic that things will take longer and somethings may have to be shelved (our garden is a total wreck atm). If your other child / children are old enough try and get them involved in helping. My boys now do a daily load of washing / tidying the living room/ load the dishwasher / make the beds and empty the bins once a day and it makes such a difference. Wishing you all the best!

Thanks, that's really reassuring. The kids are a bit older than yours and very excited. It just feels so scary. I will definitely talk to my midwife.

Think I probably need to take some time off from work too and get things together.

Awww i think it's probably really normal!
I'm pregnant with my 3rd, my youngest is 11!! Not planned so that definitely doesn't help.

I am only early days but already kind of ignoring it, bar the horrendous morning sickness lol. No real bond yet either.

But, i know how i felt with my other two when they arrived, so am not worried, it's just what i need to do to cope 😊