First baby - breastfeeding

[loolylau]

Name changed for this one, first baby due mid-autumn. I still want to do more learning/reading around the subject but I can't help but feeling guilty/crappy that I don't want to breastfeed.. like at all... for reasons I can't properly put my finger on I just don't have the want or urge to do so.

Is that bad? I know a lot of woman who both have breastfed and haven't and I'm having no pressure from either side. I'm just a bit worried about if the midwives/others ask me why.... 'I just don't think I want to' is a pretty shitty response!

Definitely don’t feel guilty it’s 100% your choice and breastfeeding for many people (me!) is quite hard at first so if you’re not feeling up to it I think it would be miserable. The only thing I’d say is there were a few things I didn’t know beforehand like breastfeeding actually lowers mums chance of breast cancer quite significantly and also you do get a lovely oxytocin high which totally got rid of my anxiety for as long as I was breastfeeding...however I totally get your feelings about not wanting to do it in public as I felt the same way and I think it’s only because I had my baby during lockdown that I actually had the chance as I wasn’t seeing anyone! By the time lockdown lifted feeds were Infrequent enough that I could avoid feeding when out and about. I’m not sure I would have done it otherwise. Good luck either way! Don’t worry about the opinions as even if you breastfeed your start to get opinions as well if you dare to feed past 6 months...

I’ve always breastfeed and want to, my choice. And same with you, it’s up to you what you choose to do and there’s no right or wrong answer it’s whatever is your choice and everyone can accept that, you don’t have to explain yourself to anyone be that friends, family, midwives etc xx if they ask why just say ‘ because that’s my choice’, as blunt as that. Xx

I think with breastfeeding you really have to want to do it for it to be successful. I had a terrible time with my first with all manner of problems but I was so certain I was going to breastfeed that I got through all of that. For me breastfeeding (now established) is so easy, you don't have to sterilise, mess around with cooling feeds down whilst your baby is crying with hunger for it and there's all the benefits of the baby receiving the right nutrition for their stage in life (your milk changes composition as your baby grows, I think that's incredible!) not only that but breastfeeding reduces risk of breast cancer in the mum and for me meant I lost all by baby weight and more so ended up nice and slim by about 9 months pp!

Definitely your choice @loolylau. I’m FTM too and whilst I’m aiming to breastfeed I also know it may not happen so if I need to bottle feed I will 🤷🏼‍♀️ It’s really sad that women are pushed into decisions by their midwives and they aren’t offered unbiased advice.

It's your body and your choice. Do what is right for you. And I say that as a mum who exclusively bf both DC beyond six months. I wanted to, you don't have to want to. Be true to yourself. Loving and responding to a baby's needs, however they are fed, is best.