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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Post partum doula or nanny?

16 replies

Swimmerowl · 25/07/2021 17:10

Hi, does anyone have any experiences or recommendations for help after birth?
What would you recommend, a doula or nanny?
I'm 35 weeks pregnant with our first baby and I live far away from my family. My partner will take 2 weeks off after the birth but after that he will be away with work from Monday to Friday night as he works on the other side of the country. My partner's family are close but his 2 sisters are also pregnant & too busy to help apart from friendship & company. We have decided to hire either a post partum doula or a nanny.
I have found a lovely doula in the local area but I wondered if a nanny would be more beneficial.
What do you think would be better?
Thanks for all your help.

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Awomanwalksintoabar · 25/07/2021 17:11

IME a doula is a short term thing. I had one who came a few times a week for about 6 weeks after the baby was born.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 25/07/2021 17:12

I'd go for a night nanny tbh if I had the luxury. Then you will get some good sleep, wake you to nurse (or formula feed), and will do baby laundry etc overnight (if possible with noise).

You and baby can then spend lots of time together in the day and you will be as well rested as you can be.

Only my personal preference though - and based on the fact that I dont know what a post partum doula is/does

SheABitSpicyToday · 25/07/2021 17:12

Depends what you need help with?

Chelyanne · 25/07/2021 17:23

Do you not think you will be able to cope? Other than being tired it's really not that hard to look after a baby. I would see how you get on before deciding to throw money at hired help.

gogohm · 25/07/2021 17:23

Depends on what you are wanting doing. Exh went back to work after 8 days overseas and tbh with one baby it was fine, mum did pop meals around but wasn't necessary, I didn't have a c-section or stitches which would change things. A cleaner/home help might be sufficient

LynetteScavo · 25/07/2021 17:25

It sounds like you want a maternity nurse, as they'll
round the clock, rather than a nanny who will only work 12 hours. That will give you time to find a long term nanny. You have left it a bit late though- I hope you can find somebody who isn't good fit!

BertieBotts · 25/07/2021 17:33

A doula is to support you whereas a nanny is more to help with childcare surely?

So totally different things. I'd probably opt for a doula, because when my babies have been newborn I wouldn't have wanted other people caring for them. A lot of doulas also specialise in breastfeeding support, so if you want to breastfeed, this could be a really beneficial option as those first few weeks can make or break your breastfeeding experience.

PotteringAlong · 25/07/2021 17:39

As others have said, it depends what you want help with. As your baby will probably be glued to you, I think I would spend the money on a cleaner and on food delivery stuff.

But I would also wait and see what kind of baby you have. Completely chilled and sleeps well? No help needed. Colic and screams for hours? Different kettle of fish.

EssentialHummus · 25/07/2021 17:41

Depends what you need help with. I’d either get a night nanny (esp if formula feeding) or nothing at all for the moment other than lots of freezer space and Cook/m&s on speed dial!

lobster12 · 25/07/2021 17:43

I would spend the money on a cleaner and a chef tbh.

DogsSausages · 25/07/2021 17:46

Congratulations on your pg. What help do you really think you need, I would prefer someone to just generally help around the house, help with cleaning, laundry, shopping.

Original poster

Swimmerowl · 25/07/2021 17:53

Thanks for your advice everyone.
I'm planning to breastfeed & we will get a cleaner as well.
I think I will need advice and help with the baby as I've never done this before and help around the house with day to day stuff and meal preps.

Of course, I have no idea what the baby will be like but I don't think it's ever easy.

OP posts:

EssentialHummus · 25/07/2021 17:57

From what you've written I'd a) give it a week or two on your own - controversial, but you'll get a better sense of what you actually need b) then get a doula in who can offer advice/support, rather than a nanny who strictly speaking is more about relieving you of childcare c) meal prep - get your OH to do, prep now or get good ready meals in.

DogsSausages · 25/07/2021 18:00

It might be helpful to have a postnatal doula for a few weeks until you have built up the confidence, it can all be a bit daunting
doula.org.uk/what-doulas-do/

Pebbledashery · 25/07/2021 18:03

You'll be surprised how much you can do. Don't write yourself off and think you need all this hired help. I had my first baby, breastfed, maintained a clean house and seemingly got through it all fine. I'm now a single parent who works full time to a 3 year old and my house is very well cleaned and maintained and I still have time to make meals from scratch.
You need some time to actually do it yourself before thinking you need this much help. It's your choice of course, but you'll be surprised how much you can do.

BertieBotts · 26/07/2021 11:18

A doula sounds more like what you want then.

I might be wrong but I get the impression that a nanny/maternity nurse is a bit more likely to be routine and bottle orientated? More about looking after the baby so you don't have to. Whereas if you just want advice, support and someone to look after you a bit then a doula would be more appropriate.

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