Am I abnormal?

[Strawberryblondee]

I'm in my early 20's and this is my first child, she was not planned and came as quite a shock. I'm in the third trimester now and I keep getting these waves of anxiety about becoming a parent. Sometimes I feel soo excited and then others I feel completely out of my depth and question whether or not I'm ready for this and have made a mistake? This makes me feel terrible, I've always wanted children and have dreamt of the day I become a parent for as long as I can remember, but now that I really am. I would have never thought I would feel this way, but it seems the closer I get the more intense these feelings get.
Did anybody else feel this way? Or am I just a terrible person?😞

If you aren't scared, you aren't taking it seriously enough. It's a huge responsibility and nobody's really ready.
I was 36. Happy and terrified. You'll be fine

I think absolutely everyone feels this way! You're definitely not alone. It's totally normal to feel a bit anxious or mixed about parenthood. It probably means you're going to do a fabulous job. Someone who is worrying about whether they'll be a good parent generally is, because it means that they care.

You will make mistakes, you'll have off days, you'll definitely do things you swear now you'd never do, but it will be OK. Children don't need a perfect mum, they just need a mum who cares enough to try and do the right thing, and who loves them. They don't need you to get it right all the time, so don't worry.

Get a copy of "What mothers do" by Naomi Stadlen. This should be given out on prescription to all first time mums.

Completely agree with the first comment! Your feelings are so valid and totally normal. I had my first child 8 weeks ago and I had the same feelings before she was born - but as soon as she was here I thought to myself, I have to do this to the best of my ability, my daughter didn't ask to come into this world but I need to do everything I can to keep her safe and healthy. You'll surprise yourself at how natural it feels. You've got this! Xx

Thank you all for your responses😊xxxx

I think feeling scared and "hell what have I done?!" about having a little baby quite soon is a very sensible state of mind and very realistic. It shows you are in touch with the reality of the situation - of course you feel like that, who wouldn't?! It will stand you in good stead when she is here I am sure.

Before they're born the thought of the responsibility and the massive life change is terrifying and there is no little baby in mind to explain it all and contextualise it all, as you haven't met her yet.

But once she is here it is a different story - your little girl! She will be the most beautiful little girl that was ever born, the delight of your heart and the apple of your eye!

Enjoy the ride!