feeling really low during pregnancy.

[SpottyZebra492]

I am 30 weeks pregnant, I am severely Anaemic and my baby is HUGE! He is measuring on the 97th centile during growth scans and my bump is 3 weeks ahead of where it should be. I am barely sleeping due to the heat but trying to work FT from home. Generally my colleagues have been lovely telling me to rest when I need to and offering to pick up tasks that I am struggling with, even my boss has been great but one member of staff speaks to everyone so abruptly and rudely. I admit I am not on the ball with things at the moment and I have been very open about how hard I am finding this pregnancy, she is still very blunt and demanding and I know I am not the only one who is struggling with her tone, she is the same level as me so has no seniority over me but constantly critiques my work and picks me up in front of others- today my bump feels so big I feel like I am going to burst. My lower back is in pieces and my hips kill. The baby kicks me so vigorously that it hurts and I keep thinking its only going to get worse as he gets bigger. My manager has just told me to do what I can but it never seems enough for this woman.

It just seems to be a joke to everyone around me, ho ho ho look how big spottyzebra is, that baby is going to be huge, you should ask for a c section. I am sick of being told how massive I am. I have to lug the baby around, I am fully aware of how big he is and petrified of giving birth to him. I am scared of tearing and the recovery afterwards.

I am so tired constantly and desperately waiting for an Iron infusion yet family members seems to think that I can carry on as normal. When they make demands and I say I can't do it because I am tired or just because of how big I am they roll their eyes and act like I am being a drama queen. My sister has made several comments behind my back basically saying I am acting like no one else has ever been pregnant before or that I am neglecting my other children but hasn't once asked if I need any help.
Another relative got funny with me when I said I might need a rest somewhere quiet at her upcoming wedding.

I think I am pretty sensitive at the moment, probably due to the lack of sleep and energy but everything is getting to me and I can't keep up with the demands being placed on me. Even DP joined in today with the digs because I asked him to get me a biscuit from the kitchen, he told me to stop being lazy and get it myself........I have been up since 6, dealing with the other kids, working from home, doing chores around the house. I spent my lunch break taking my son over to a friends house.......but I am lazy. When I called him out on it, he whined and said "Ooooh I'm pregnant, I can't do anything" He then tried to play it off as a joke. But it really upset me. He is normally so nice so this was totally out of character. I don't think I have been particularly moany this pregnancy so it seems really uncalled for.
I have got to the point where I have stopped talking to people, ignoring calls etc, not talking about the baby or the pregnancy because then they can't throw it back in my face but it doesn't seem to have made any difference- they still seem to dig the knife in at every given opportunity.

I just feel really lonely and sad. I want to try and enjoy the last weeks of being pregnant and people are spoiling it by being nasty. just needed to vent.

Really sorry you are feeling like this, it does sound very tough! Being heavily pregnant in a heat wave is not fun! My daughter was born during a heatwave so I have lots of sympathy. Ignore the family members comments, they obviously have no idea how you are feeling and their nasty comments are just going to make you feel worse so try and ignore.
Not much help but didn't want to read and run. Once the other children are in bed could you sit with your feet up and a run a towel under cold water to drape over you to cool you down? Xx

I was in the same position as you 7 months ago OP. Working full time, as a childminder, my own 2 kids, anemic, spd, baby measuring massive, medicated up to my eyeballs due to HG, people constantly telling me how big I am, awake till at least 4 in the morning every night, and then up at 7 for work, up and down to the toilet 65 times a night. It's honestly the worst time in the world for some people. I was very depressed, and thought about suicide very seriously a lot.
My solution when anyone said anything was just, "god I know, I'm bloody massive!" Because I was!
The upside is, you don't have that long to go. I know it feels like a lifetime but it comes eventually.
Now to the main problem, your partner. He is a twat. Mine can be a bit of a twat but he really stepped up during my pregnancy, especially the last couple of months. He needs to sort himself and his attitude out or I would tell him to get to fuck.

Oh my.. this is totally understandable. Plus with the heat it is also not a fun time. I know the later months of the pregnancy can be difficult.

Maybe some meditation and relaxation techniques could help. Whenever you’re feeling upset if possible, you can go to your quiet space (a room, section of your home for meditation and quiet alone time). Just sit with some nice quiet music, or white noise. Practice your breathing etc.

I know the comments don’t help, and you’re entitled to tell people that you don’t find the comments are helping you with the state you are in. I think comments like about how big you are and how big the baby will be is very common.

I don’t have any advise about the back pain except for using a hot water bottle. I know this is the least fun stage of pregnancy. But at least you’re almost at the end.

I wish you a safe birth and congratulations on the baby.

Im sorry that you are feeling low. If it helps (it probably wont) im 33 weeks and im feeling really fed up and lonely at the moment. Ive had a tough pregnancy with really bad vomiting and im just fed up with it all. The heat certainly isnt making it any easier. I wish i could say something to cheer you up but ive just come on to moan and say you are not alone.

thank you for the nice replies. I took a nap and started to feel better then a midwife called me to return my call and basically told me my tiredness has nothing to do with low iron and I basically can't cope with my life/should go off sick from work. It was all very patronising and made me feel worse. I know my own body, I have suffered with Iron deficiency since I was 14, I have problems with my gut that complicate the issue and I felt like my knowledge for my own body and fairly unknown condition was completely ignored. I will have to just suck it up and wait to see my regular midwife in 12 days time. Just so tired and my back is still really playing up.

I am going to pop to the supermarket (I like going late when it's quiet) and get myself some ice cream to drown my sorrows. Just feel like I am a glorified incubator for the baby and my needs don't matter, it ruins the pregnancy feeling like this and I am scared I will end up with really bad PND again which no doubt they will attribute to me not being able to cope with life rather than seeing that I have no energy at all and spend more time asleep than I do awake at the mo.

I feel so pathetic for moaning, I want this baby very much. I am just really miserable at the mo.

I did text dp and tell him he was a twat and he apologised and has been sending me nice messages all afternoon so I think it was just a misplaced joke but he might as well have poked a wasps nest.......the joke was not appreciated! Hopefully tomorrow will be a brand new day and I will feel better.

I have no advice but reading your posts I just want to give you a massive hug and go get the ice cream for you

Hmmm..... DP walked in from work, clearly pissy at the mess the house is in. He ate some ice cream, grunted at me and then walked upstairs to bed without another word. I tried to tell him about how I was feeling/the midwife but he couldn't have cared less.

I give up. I would quite like to fuck everyone off right now and bugger off to live on the moon alone. No one see's the stuff I do do, only the things that I don't. Be that in the house, at work or within my family circle.

I think I will sleep downstairs tonight, it's cooler and I don't want to be around him when he can't see past the end of his own nose.

@SpottyZebra492

Hmmm..... DP walked in from work, clearly pissy at the mess the house is in. He ate some ice cream, grunted at me and then walked upstairs to bed without another word. I tried to tell him about how I was feeling/the midwife but he couldn't have cared less.

I give up. I would quite like to fuck everyone off right now and bugger off to live on the moon alone. No one see's the stuff I do do, only the things that I don't. Be that in the house, at work or within my family circle.

I think I will sleep downstairs tonight, it's cooler and I don't want to be around him when he can't see past the end of his own nose.

Op, if I was in your position I would have checking myself into a hotel for 2 days. Dp will have to manage kids.

You could end up seriously ill if you don't get a break. 2 days leave from it all and you'll come back a bit more clear headed x

I’m sorry OP people who haven’t been pregnant or have had easy pregnancies don’t realise what an effect it can have on your body. Ignore anyone making comments if you can/tell them where to go, rest up and tell DP to grow up! Also if you need to, get signed off work. Pregnancy sickness doesn’t count towards your sickness history for exactly this reason — it is hard on the body and you need to listen when your body tells you enough is enough! Hugs xx

feeling a bit better today, sleeping downstairs was a really good call and I managed some solid sleep which has made me feel much more human.
I am going to chat to my manager next week and see if I can drop down to 1/2 days for next week to try and catch up on rest.

DP came back downstairs half an hour later and said he just needed to take 5 so that's fair enough. We talked, I think he gets how hard I am finding things. We have a lot going on at the moment but once we get this weekend out of the way might be able to slow down a bit, just feel like I am trudging through treacle at the mo. There is so many demands on me from different places.
I just can't keep going at the pace everyone expects me to. My daughter has been really lovely today and is helping lots too which is nice.