When did you tell family that you’re pregnant?

[Allthatsparkles1]

Hi!

I’m 5 weeks pregnant and only DH and I know at the moment. We would like to tell our parents that we’re expecting before we tell anyone else (we will wait until after 12 week scan to tell everyone else).

I just wondered how far along you all told your parents/family that you were pregnant?

Thanks in advance!

After the dating scan, 13wk.
We'd had a miscarriage after seeing a heartbeat on a scan 5 months before bfp with this one so I was quite reluctant to share. Didn't tell friends until after a private scan at 16wk, after anomaly scan I didn't try to keep it quiet at all.

I told my chiropractor at 6 weeks and then the inlaws at almost 13 weeks, followed by a couple of close friend. The news is slowly getting out which is probably right because it's getting more difficult to hide.

I haven't told them yet, I'm just into the second trimester and the plan is to wait a bit longer.
Like @sohypnotic I don't think fairness comes into it. I just know my mum would not keep it to herself and we're not ready to tell the wider family yet ergo she can't know.

I told my family at 5 weeks because I was so poorly they'd of guessed anyway. At 5 and a bit weeks the office gossip walking into the work bathroom to find me head down the loo so everyone knew before I'd even finish!

Second time around I told as soon as I knew because of the first time. I passed out whilst with my mum at 8 weeks so probably good that she knew.

The day after we got a BFP. And its been so helpful! Extended family were told after 12 weeks

Congratulations on your pregnancy OP

Told my parents at about 6 - 8 weeks as I was booked to go on a skiing holiday with them and thought they might want to cancel.
Told my in-laws after my scan (15 weeks)
Told my manager and my deputy at work quite early as I often had to lift things and needed to avoid that.
Told a few friends at about 10-12 weeks as we were out and I wasn't drinking and it just felt right to tell them.

Don't worry about fairness, think who you want to know. If anything had gone wrong before the scan and my MOL had known she would have been devastated and would not have been a support but a drain so we didn't want her to know early on.

@Allthatsparkles1

Thanks *@sohypnotic*, I hadn’t thought of it like that, I have to say, but it makes a lot of sense. We are much closer to my family than we are to DHs anyway and see much more of them. I’m sorry to hear you also struggled with anxiety and a medical condition on top of that, but so glad you got the support you needed from your mum x

hope everything is plain sailing for you x

No one other than DH, midwife and line manager till 18 weeks.

Parents pretty much straight away, various friends as and when it came up in conversation. I had a miscarriage first time and no regrets about having multiple people I could talk to about it as they already knew I had been pregnant.

2nd time loads of people knew at 9 weeks as I was at a wedding and not drinking

First pregnancy I told them after I had my missed miscarriage discovered at 9 weeks.

Second pregnancy with my now daughter, I told them after 12 week scan.

This is my 4th pregnancy (including 2 looses at 6 weeks and12 weeks) weve told my parents and mil all times about 5 weeks. Wouldn't do anything different because of my losses.

I'm 11 weeks tomorrow and have had 2 private scans, we will be tell DS age 5 and other in laws this weekend.

Do what feels right.

I told my immediate family the day I found out. They knew we were having ivf so it wasn’t ever really going to be a secret really.

Extended family I think I told around 16 weeks, friends around the same, FB friends I told posted when they (DTs) were about a month old.

Dh and I made an agreement where we both tell one other person after getting a positive pregnancy test. Everyone else after 12 weeks scan.
I chose dm and dh chose his dsis.

My mum found out earlier than we planned as I had a scare and needed my mum's shoulder to cry on when I thought I was losing it. I was 8 weeks. We planned to tell her and the rest of our family at 9 weeks, after our private scan. Luckily, baby was fine despite the scare and we announced at 9 weeks. Plan to tell everyone else - extended family etc - after my 12 week scan (it's tomorrow!!)

Thank you all so much for taking the time to reply, your experiences are really helpful and have given us food for thought!

@Trinacham, wishing you the very best of luck tomorrow, how exciting! x

I had to let go of my first pregnancy due to a lethal abnormality and subsequently had a miscarriage. So when pregnant again I told close family and friends quite early ….the ones I would tell anyway if something would go wrong.
However work and other people didn’t get told until after the 20 week scan.

I told my family and my partners family the day we found out which was 3+4 and I regretted it straight away but was so excited at the time being my first pregnancy 😂 I'm 28 weeks but it was a stressful few weeks having everyone know so early...never again!!

We told our parents when I was 6 weeks, I wanted to wait a little bit but I was so poorly for about 3 weeks before we told them and I basically just needed my mum 🤣 I couldn’t have coped any longer without any advice or sympathy!

At 4 months - wanted to tell my family face to face (mum ‘but you told me you were never going to have kids’ which I never did - a bit off, but hey).

I told work earlier because I was catching every bug going and obviously couldn’t take anything (plus it was a heavy drinking culture so...). My boss cheered, jumped up and have me a big hug. Apparently my team ‘knew’ even though I was still wearing size 8 suits.

We told my dad and my PIL after our private scan at 7 weeks both times.

I'm at a similar stage to you and thinking about similar. I told a close friend 2 days after I found out as I was feeling more awkward saying nothing and continuing to try to make excuses for not drinking during our evening. My best friend is coming to stay in 3 weeks time and I think I will also say then, for the same reason. I told my boss after I found out for risk assessment/career advice reasons. Planning to tell both sides of the family after our 12 week scan.

It’s really different for everyone. My best friend told her mum before she even told her husband!
Were waiting until the second trimester to tell our parents. A big part of that is because I love my mom, but she’s not exactly…erm…strong? Like she will worry more than I would, and if there were to be a loss, she would be so upset that she wouldn’t really be supportive if that makes sense.

pretty much as soon as I knew.
I'm not superstitious so I never worried about telling before a certain time.
(And with our family being all over the place we needed everyone to save the date for the baptism asap)

When I had a MC it was good they all knew because I got support.