Pregnant with 3rd baby and scared how I will cope.

[blondeirishmummy84]

Hey,
I came off the pill on 9th June and was waiting to get an appointment to get the coil fitted. I naively thought I would be ok for a few weeks with effects from pill wearing off, but in that slim chance, I got pregnant.
I have a 3.5 and 2.5 year old and the last few years have been a bit crazy, my husband and my families live quite far and we have had next to no help. Its been exhausting at times sometimes the kids still play up with their sleep, especially my daughter . We are just getting in to the swing of being a family of 4 and I am starting to participate in my own hobbies again and be social. Dont want to sound like I am complaining or being selfish because its been amazing too and its really now that they are a fun age.
We both agreed we would love a 3rd child but with everything being so busy, I am 37 and hubby just turned 40, we had pretty much ruled it out.
Also dreading telling work because I only returned to work last August as I took 6 months further off after my maternity leave ended with my 2nd. I returned part time so on a reduced income.
I had a traumatic emergency section with my 1st and a long recovery from my natural born 2nd as I haemorrhaged badly in the weeks afterwards.
Has anyone else felt this way? I am of course so grateful but cant help but feel a little anxious too.

also meant to add - I still have not told my husband!!!

You need to tell your husband and then decide what to do together. There's no shame in having a termination if that would be the best thing for you and your family.

Thanks Ginger. No a termination is out of the question entirely and I believe he will feel the same. I dont think I could live with myself personally.

Tell your husband and go from there, a problem shared is a problem halved and all that jazz. Good luck though it's very hard work having 3 under 5.

This is perfectly natural to feel like this. I fell pregnant by complete accident with third in December 2018. Had a 7 year old and a 4 year old and had been suffering badly with anxiety and depression and only just found some balance with medication.

We decided together to have a termination. We were never going to have a third. I was about to be made redundant in January 2019 and would have needed to find a new job pregnant. It all seemed hopeless.

The termination hung over me for a long time. I felt at times both numb and beside myself about our decision. Suddenly everyone We knew seemed to be falling pregnant as well.

Slow and steady we got through it all. My husband didn't seem upset by it one bit and wasn't greatest support but I didn't confide in him either as I knew he didn't understand my grief and guilt.

I both knew we had made the right decision but also it felt so wrong and I felt so badly for taking the opportunity for my two other children to be older siblings to a baby which I knew they'd excel at.

In January 2020 my husband lost his mother and then came the pandemic and we were both far from our families as neither of us are from England, where we live. We started to take stock of our little perfect family unit and all we had been through and decided that after all, what we needed was another little member of this family. I'm not sure if we would ever have come to that decision any other way. It seemed impossible to have a third in 2018 but then in 2020 it made perfect sense. 🤷‍♀️. I felt real shame and guilt trying again after that termination and so sorry for the baby we didn't have.

Anyway, long story short, we have now been blessed with our third baby. And it feels like everything is suddenly complete and how it should be.

Talk to your husband and get a feel of what is best choice. My only advice would be don't rush into anything to get it over with like I did, not even sure if that's on table for you anyway but if it is Allow yourself a bit of time to be absolutely sure. I think I was in shock and a bit numb anyway from anti depressants.

Know though that you can absolutely do this with a third without family help. My husband and I are like too big silly kids. If we can do it anyone can. It's also perfectly ok to feel worried and overwhelmed. Who wouldn't be?

3rd onward just slot in to life in my experience. You will make it work and your employer will have to lump it.

We're expecting our 6th in a few weeks, it's hectic but manageable (hubby works away a lot but I'm a sahm).

I agree with above poster they do just fit into the cogs of family life you just adapt were expecting our fourth ours have small age gaps but they work best imo ours are incredibly close and we couldn't be happier.