Fear of pregnancy

[Abell123]

I have had a terrible phobia of pregnancy and put it off for years. I am now pregnant with my first and Im so anxious. I want the baby and I'm scared of losing it (currently 11 weeks pregnant) but I'm so scared of the months ahead namely my body being out of control and actually growing a human being. Has anyone else experienced this fear and managed to get their head around it?

Yes, absolutely! I ended up having a termination and tried after that for 6 years to get pregnant and I’m now 35 weeks pregnant and I can honestly say my experience physically has been lovely. My anxiety shows up at every medical appointment though and I go into full blown panic attack but I’ve been doing a lot of work and it’s getting so much better. My mental health has definitely been a challenge so I got a referral to the perinatal mental health team 2 months ago from my midwife and it’s been a game changer. I really recommend getting a referral yourself and being open with your midwife. Also, I’ve asked to have the same midwife for my entire pregnancy and that has helped.

You’ll be ok xx

Yes, I have put off having a baby for years because of not wanting my body to change out if my control and phobia of birth. I referred myself for CBT via the IAPT service on the NHS website and it made such a huge difference to how I view worries.

I've been very lucky and not had many of the more unpleasant pregnancy symptoms, no morning sickness, carrying "mostly bump" and felt pretty much myself up until around 38 weeks, which I realise could make a difference to how I've felt but honestly I've really enjoyed the physical changes, I usually wouldn't wear clingy dresses due to not liking my stomach but now it's meant to be seen so I've embraced more fitted styles (although not in the current heat!!)

I've watched and followed Instagram people who are embracing pregnancy which I think has helped me manage to view other aspects as fascinating rather than something to be feared. And I've ignored the pregnancy fitness videos where people are still running and weightlifting, that was never me anyway and I've had PGP the past few weeks so can only manage gentle exercise. Therefore I've been able to be kind to myself about other changes, e.g. the bit of weight I've put on in other areas is my body nourishing itself and my baby, cringey but totally changes how I feel compared to if I just viewed things through an aesthetic lens.

Hi @Abell123 not sure where you’re based but I work got the nhs in Cumbria and there is a service for women with your worries, maybe worth asking your midwife? Xx

Hi everyone
Thank you for replying with your positivity.
I am being referred to the mental health team in Wales but now I am stuck in limbo as the dating scan showed a possible birth defect (we are waiting to find out if this is confirmed) so not only do I have my tokophobia to contend with, I am also worried if I will be advised to terminate. Part of me wants to start getting my head around the pregnancy, face my fears, but another part of me feels like I cant and shouldn't connect to it.
It's so difficult x