Pregnancy + pandemic + trying to stay sane

[Sheisfee]

Just wanted to ask how others feel at the moment and have a little rant. I’m 35 weeks and just don’t feel like me anymore - I’ve wanted this baby for 6 years so it’s crazy to know that I’m now at the stage of pregnancy that I’m just done. I feel miserable and can’t really do anything at all - I was so active before I got pregnant and now I just feel like a big lump.

The pandemic hasn’t helped in the slightest as although I felt similarly in my previous pregnancy I was still seeing people and going to cafes and things but now it’s been over a year and a half of lockdown for me whilst growing a baby and trying not to just feel like a vessel.

Only 5 more weeks hopefully and I’ll have my little one and fingers crossed I can have a bit of a life again.

Love to all who are struggling at the moment xx

I could have written this. Feel the same, over 41 weeks (40+ 2 according to my dates) and am so over it it’s not even funny. Just lost it this afternoon, got DH to take over child care for bouncy 3yr old as soon as he finished work, had a big cry and lie down. Too big and heavy to do anything and Covid isolating like you said just makes you feel doubly trapped ( also did lots of stuff like you in first pregnancy, meet ups, cafes etc) not being able to do stuff due to Covid makes time passing feel glacial. Sorry you're in same boat OP

@Jellyfishnchips it’s so tough - I just had a melt down out in the park with my kids are partner. It was too hot and everyone was looking pretty and happy and I just felt like uuuggghhhhhh! So waddled back home in a huff. I hate seeing everyone get back to normal yet I’m in bed with a fan on not even seeing my family. I am really excited for baby and I’m happy about the pregnancy but way back at the start I thought that the pandemic was ending so I didn’t expect this lifestyle through out my entire pregnancy! Desperate for some normality and slightly scared that even when babe is born I will be too scared to do ‘normal’ xx hope you pop soon!! Xx

Yeah I couldn’t face the heat or heavy waddle so sent them off to the park on their own! Fan on here too, am so hoping it’s not going to get crazy hot. Me too re: happy about the pregnancy although uncomfortable fed-upness has overtaken excitement of late, prob just because am past DD, fully expect that to change once am actually out the other side and holding the little bean! Yeah we’re isolating and not seeing family either as have opted to have the vacc after baby comes. Yes we totally didn’t expect to have to live an isolated lifestyle for the whole pregnancy either(!), had been looking forward to the summer and getting back some freedom and normality, but the soaring case nos and end to all restrictions it looks like it’s not really going to be safe to be ‘normal’ for some time. Thank you, me too! My bump is massive and the practicalities of being this pregnant is getting too much xx

Are you isolating for a reason? Or just avoiding any risk of getting covid? I am almost 34 weeks and am just carrying on as normal, although have been vaccinated now. I really think you need to push through, going out it hard but once you're out, it's great and makes you feel so much better.

I’m in a risk group so have to shield due to health. Tb honest even without that and the Covid situation I can’t do much anymore so getting out not really possible anyway, looking after my DD and getting a few jobs done around the house is about as much as I can manage! Have probs with PGP and back so walking v difficult and painful. At least looking forward to being able to go for walks again when baby comes, that will be a relief

I’m in this boat 🙋🏼‍♀️ Due in less than 4 weeks and have cancelled my (very casual) baby shower. Just dont feel it’s worth the risk so now I’m just moaping about at home not doing very much! I’m too scared I either catch COVID or end up having to isolate then don’t get the birth I want or don’t get my partner with me, so feel like any sacrifice is worth that! Going for dinner outside this weekend for a final time then I think the last 3 weeks will be spent at home 😕 Physically I’m okay. I do feel huge and the main issues seem to be when I’m sitting or lying down just with the sheer weight of me/the baby but I’ve been really lucky not to really have any pain. The heat is starting to annoy me at nights now. I’ve slept great the whole way through but now wake up at about 4 every morning and I’m just so warm I can’t get back to sleep! It will be temporary and worth it in the end. Just a very boring existence to get there safely 🙈

@Jellyfishnchips haha! The practicalities of being this pregnant is getting to much. Ohhhh, I hear you! I can’t even sit like an actual person anymore… my not so little one is all up under my ribs so I’m just constantly trying to find a position to get even remotely comfy. I’ll let you know when I figure it out although, it’ll probably be in about 5 weeks time!

I’m also not able to do much now - I’ve got two other kids but they’re both almost 9 so pretty self sufficient. I can only really manage to feed and shower them now, partner has to do the rest! Every time I attempt to take the dog out I end up with braxton hicks.

So difficult to know that a lot of people are just going to get on with it now but those of us pregnant people who feel it necessary so carry on with caution are just ignored. The government legislation has been fucking abominable.

@sarah13xx it’s so tough, I’m terrified of both scenarios too and the cases just keep going up. I’m trying to rationalise and see that hospitalisation and deaths are really very low but I read today that there will potentially be a rise in pregnant women with covid after restrictions are lifted so we’re just kind of left to lock ourselves down and deal with it.

I had fo cancel my baby shower too - doesn’t seem worth it and because of the pandemic most of my friendships have faded as keeping in contact via social media is tedious so it’s getting super lonely.

I’m not in too much pain, just so god damn uncomfortable! I literally can not wait for this one to be earth side for a snuggle and to get out of the house! Xx

I know, people keep saying to me about the hospitalizations and deaths still being low but I’ve only just been offered my vaccine like last week so decided just to wait a few weeks and get it, so the majority of the population might not die from it but I’m the exact person who would if I caught it 🙈 keep trying to explain that to my partner too, it’s the case numbers I’m wary of because I really really can’t catch it. It’s hard to justify when some of my friends are almost at the stage of being covid deniers now and saying they don’t follow the rules etc. Cant wait for my baby just to be here but then I’m already thinking will I have the whole same thing again about not too many people going near him? 🙈 If I was to allow every single person who wants to come and see him to pick him up the chances of him having covid after all those folk have breathed in his face would be extremely high. I’m going to let close family hold him but think I’m going to try and just meet people outside and have him in his pram so I don’t need to pass him about when it’s everyone else 🤦🏼‍♀️ Can’t wait to get my vaccine as soon as I can

Hey pregnant trying-to-stay-sane mama’s. How are you doing today? It is HOT! Sleeping going to be interesting tonight…

Have you figured out how to sit comfy yet Sheisfree? I can only perch on edge of chairs/ sofa and need an extra pillow to raise my hips- mmm comfy, not! Also adds nicely to swollen feet and ankles, just lovely.

Totally agree with you and sarah13xx the Gov decision to abandon all measures is ridiculous, is a scary prospect not having our birth partners with us or getting sick at this point. Yes I’ve had to forewarn family that we won’t be able to pass baby round in the normal way either, is such a shamed but will just have to carry on being as careful as we can to get through the other side of baby arrivals x

@Jellyfishnchips nope! I have no idea how to sit 😂 I usually do yoga and I probably could do some but I just don’t want too. All I want to is eat and sleep! I’ve had two naps today to prepare for the lack of sleep tonight…

Going to try and get out for a walk this evening when it’s cooled so I don’t just feel like a flump haha.

@Jellyfishnchips hope you’re holding in there and @sarah13xx

Nothing quite like being locked up in a heat wave pregnant… feels like punishment but reeeeallt trying to keep on top of my mental health and stay positive xx

@Jellyfishnchips what are you planning to do with the family passing baby round situation? Absolutely no one gets a hold or some do, some don’t? I was thinking I’d have to let the grandparents, aunts and uncles hold (there only are 2 sets) but was maybe going to limit it at that and make sure they all hold him outside to try and reduce the chance of anyone passing it on. When I add up the numbers though, even if I said no to every other person, that’s still us plus 11 other people getting to hold him 😕 I could be really strict and say a mask as well outside. Feel like some friends will still expect a hold but I’m just going to put him in the pram and hope they don’t ask!

@Sheisfee I went out for a nice lunch (outside) today for the final time. Felt like I was savoring every second of it 😂 That’s me now ‘isolating’ basically for the next 3 weeks just in case anything happens early!

@sarah13xx I’m worried about the holding too - I don’t want to annoy people and I also don’t want to have to explain every 2 seconds the science behind the pandemic that has now been happening for almost 2 years and why I may be being cautious!

I do think I’ll be asking everyone to lateral flow test before and it’ll only be vaccinated family and potentially masks now you’ve mentioned it. There will be regular people who will be able to hold her like my mum as she looks after my daughter now & maybe my partners parents but that’ll be it and they’ll still need to LFT before every visit x

@Sheisfee yeah the one person I’d almost make an exception for would be my mum too 😂 Going to ask everyone to do a test before they come, not that it guarantees anything but is at least better than nothing. It’s the first 2 months I’m most wary about when they have little to no immune system. As much as I haven’t heard of any terrible cases in babies (that I know anyway) you just don’t know with the new variant etc 😕 I went to see my friends baby and I only looked at her in her pram, I would never have asked for a hold or leaned in to touch her so I think a lot of people will be in the same boat! Just need to hope everyone is as sensible and understanding

I think people will get it about the holding situation after all that’s happened. I had my first daughter 2 months before the first lockdown and we had the in-laws visit days before Boris scary speech! I also instigated a no holding and hand washing rule then and family thought it was being a bit of a diva I think / overprotective mum mode but now most people understand.

It’s not a nice time to be pregnant / vulnerable for sure, I’m 20 weeks with my second..hopefully it won’t go on like this forever though and our babies won’t remember it. I think some initial studies of moderna and Pfizer have shown antibodies are being passed from vaccinated pregnant women to their babies and also through breastmilk which is reassuring

Im 30 weeks and feel similar. I’m waiting my second jab but by the time I have that I will be so close to the end I will
Want to hide away (who wants Covid on their due date).
The numbers are so high.
I have 3 kids and we will be spending the whole holidays in the garden. Won’t even go
To shops because of this no mask and no
Social distancing.

Sheisfee hope your evening walk yesterday was nice. I did some laps of the garden in the cool of the evening was much nicer than trudge in the blazing heat(!) Yes trying to stay positive too, some days harder than others though, just really just want things to get going now, avoid induction and get my jab!

Sarah13xx Ah glad you got to have a nice last lunch! Don’t be too disappointed if things don’t happen early, I had really hoped for this but baby doesn’t always get the memo when we just want to be the other side of pregnancy! So yeah pretty much the same in terms of baby holding caution here too - I’ve had conversations with close family already, to lay the groundwork for expectations ahead of the birth so they know it won’t be the normal casual social visits and passing baby around due to Covid. They have been understanding of this, especially with Delta and cases rises. We won’t be seeing anyone early doors except my mum who’s double jabbed and does lateral flows before visiting, will get her to hand gel too and we’ll be outside as much as possible. Plan is for me to get jab as early as poss (husband already jabbed) after baby comes and wait couple of weeks before seeing other family. So really very limited visits until baby is about a month old then will carry on with outdoor visits - close family only with lateral flows and hand gel before anyone holds baby. Putting baby in pram for later family visits/ friends is a good idea though! A sling should work well for this too ( indoors or out) Yes I totally agree about the first 2 months for newborns too so feel protecting baby is more important than other peoples need to have a hold. They are going to be babies for a long time(!) so we shouldn’t feel guilty, there will plenty of time for visits and cuddles when it’s safer and baby has built a bit of immunity.

Jorja02 hi there and welcome! Yes you’re right it is a tough time to be pregnant, we can all encourage each other here, especially as real life meet up’s are risky and I think lots of us have made the decision to step back to keep safe. Well done on getting halfway there! Yes I heard the same about those vacc’s which is really encouraging news.

Hi Tinydancer321 and welcome! I totally get that, and like others have said we don’t want to risk our birth partners getting sick either and be without them at the critical time. Haven’t been to a shop in months and no plans to start now, thank goodness for online shopping. Yep will be doing same re sticking to garden and the occasional open park/ woodland walk. Not even sure about public swings anymore after all measures get dumped tomorrow, on mass 🙄. How old are your 3 DC? Hope they will be manageable for you at home for the summer.

If anyone else has the paddling pool out for other DC, would highly recommend popping hot pregnant feet in for a bit of relief! x

@Jellyfishnchips glad I’m not the only one hoping to limit visits. I’m having a c-section so kind of hoping he stays where he is until the date to save any drama 🙈 Due to the recovery though I was already thinking I really can think of nothing worse than having to sit (potentially in a fair bit of pain) while everyone gets a hold of my baby and I’m just desperate to go and lie down. I don’t care about my mum coming in when I’m in bed (because she’s my mum 🤷🏼‍♀️) but we don’t see as much of my husband’s family - he has two sets as parents have separated. The visits with them are usually far more formal and you’ve to sit around drinking cups of tea and making small talk for hours. Im hoping he can announce the baby has arrived on the phone and say we’ll let you know when we’re ready for a visit. So they don’t just think the second I’m out of hospital they can descend on our house for the afternoon 🤦🏼‍♀️ I’m hoping the whole thing isn’t as bad as I’m imagining but I would just love to be able to spend the whole first week in my jammies without worrying the door was about to go any minute. Also secretly happy about hospital visiting being one person so they can’t show up at the hospital, that would be my worst nightmare 🤣 So yeah, covid restrictions have some perks! I can’t decide when an appropriate time is to let them come for a quick first visit in the garden. I think I will just need to wait and see how I feel after I’m home but it does mean my mum will meet baby first. The way I’m thinking of it though if I was in for any other form of surgery my mum would be round looking after me after and does a lot round our house anyway but they wouldn’t. It’s just an awkward one! Part of me thought schedule them half an hour apart so that the other one arrives and the first set will need to go 😂 If we didn’t they’d expect me to sit there all day probably!

Hey Sarah13xx sorry for delay replying to your message, the last week has been a bit of a blur as baby made her arrival last Monday! Hope you’re doing ok and have a plan you’d like tor family visits, we’re sticking to close family for now, though there are so many midwife & health visitor visits after having baby anyway but they are necessary. Best wishes to everyone for healthy happy births and babies x

@Jellyfishnchips aww lovely, congratulations 😊 hope you’re both doing well! I have two weeks to go now

Thanks Sarah13xx, yeah doing good thanks. am so happy the little lady arrived when she did, being overdue was not fun. Not long now then, hang in there and baby will be earth side and in your arms before you know it! 🙂 xx