Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Elective C section- did you ever regret your choice

111 replies

Leaf87 · 13/07/2021 13:20

Hi all,
Just exploring my options, due to give birth later this summer and thinking about options. My question is did anyone every regret having an elective c section and not trying naturally?
I appreciate that a text book natural birth is easier to recover from and has lots of positives. What concerns me is that the majority of women do not experience this. This means induction and assisted births. A tough assisted birth can lead to long term complications and a long recovery.
C section is major surgery and should not be viewed lightly however to me the risk of an elective c section are very well managed vs risk and reactive nature of induction and assistance and possible emergency C
I haven't made any decisions just yet but interested to hear peoples views.
Thanks

OP posts:
Mammyofasuperbaby · 13/07/2021 13:55

I've had an emergency and an elective section and have never been in labour. I don't regret my elective because it was, for me, the correct decision at the time due to a previous section, ptsd and pregnancy complications, however I'm now left with debilitating back pain, a overhang, scar pain and numbness from my bellybutton down.
All the women I know who have had natural births, have been straight forward or with minor intervention but generally they are in good health now.
I'd have rather had natural births if I could have but my children would have died otherwise so it's just how it is for me

MotherOfCrocodiles · 13/07/2021 14:00

Cinderellasbelly - stats for intervention for your first baby are way higher than subsequent babies and it depends on age as well. For a 35 year old ftm intervention rate (instruments or emcs) is indeed over 50%. For a second baby and/or young mum it's miles lower. So her personal chance of a normal birth will be quite different from the hospital average

I had three elcs and don't regret it at all, in fact I think I am the only person I know to have no horror stories at all about birth!

Chelyanne · 13/07/2021 14:05

People thinking you have a longer stay with CS are not quite correct.
1st vb I was in a total of 6 nights (4 before & 2 after), 2nd vb 3 total 3 nights (1 before & 2 after) and 3rd vb total 2 nights (both after). Our twins (elcs at 38wk) breezed through all checks but the vb's they had concerns with so were kept in for extra monitoring.

FluffMagnet · 13/07/2021 14:07

I've had an ELCS and booked in today for my second. There was one moment in theatre where I had a haemorrhage, and thought to myself "well, you asked for this you bloody fool, and now you're going to die" but of course it is pretty run of the mill to the surgical team and I didn't even need a transfusion in the end. Interestingly, talking to my consultant today, she mentioned the bleed probably would have occurred in a vaginally birth anyway, and they'll just be prepared for the same to happen this time. Tbh once they'd pumped me with fluids I was right as rain again and had an amazing first night on High Dependency where the nursing care was second to none (post natal for second night was a shock!) Only in for 48 hours and recovered quickly at home. Have once or twice wondered what labour is like but then talking to friends who were still not feeling fully recovered a year later from vaginally birth soon put that to rest!

Bksjshsbbev2737 · 13/07/2021 14:09

I’ve had two c sections; one emergency and second planned due to medical reasons. There was no choice for me and I’ve long since accepted that but if I’d had a choice I would have wanted a natural birth or to at least try for one. My planned one was a very positive experience but the recovery was as hard and it was a process to accept that I’d never have a natural birth.

malteserheist · 13/07/2021 14:12

Personally I think making decisions based on attempting to avoid regret isn't the best way, as regret is internal and part of life. Regret is a natural emotion that tends to rear its head whenever we are in a tough position - it's part of the grief and bargaining and wanting to feel in control again by blaming ourselves for our difficulties.

We all regret different things for different reasons, I'm not sure how helpful it would be to you to know my regrets.

A better way might be to weigh up which set of risks you are most comfortable accepting, and which "worst case scenario" for each option you are the least uncomfortable with.

It sounds like you are more comfortable with the risks of CS, but are worried about the enormity of the decision and how to manage your feelings afterwards?

It is normal to feel scared and apprehensive about this decision. It is normal to feel scared about surgery if that is the path you take. It doesn't mean it's not the right decision, just that it's a big deal and you're human!

It is major surgery, but people have major surgery every day. It's not in the same category as transplant surgery or other major procedures where you always require an intensive care bed immediately afterwards (whereas for CS that would only be the case if complications arise), to put it in perspective.

Major surgery isn't fun, but it's not insurmountable either. It can be a shock not to be able to use your core muscles for a while, and that can be emotionally challenging, but as you recover it can also make you appreciate what your body is capable of and how strong you are.

Anyway, that's my opinion based on having made some rubbish decisions in the past based on trying to avoid regret! I don't make decisions like that anymore and I think I get better outcomes now, even if sometimes they're still tough because sometimes life is tough whatever you do.

I wish you all the best whatever decision you make.

TakeYourFinalPosition · 13/07/2021 14:13

@Chelyanne I don't know if it depends where you are, but my hospital birth leaflet thingy said that first time mums who have a C-section should expect a 3 - 4 day stay, and vaginal births should expect a 1 - 2 day stay, although if everything looks okay after a vaginal birth, you may be allowed home the same day.

Chelyanne · 13/07/2021 14:20

@takeyourfinalposition I think they only keep you a long time if there is a medical need. They didn't want me to leave but my iron levels were just within normal ranges and the twins had no issues so they couldn't force me to stay. I struggled to sleep in hospital so was much better off at home, dh was allowed to stay with me all day on a ward back then (over night was also an available option) but... that has all changed with covid which makes me determined not be stuck in unless I really have to be with this one.

Wantabub · 13/07/2021 14:22

I had an elective section in January. My 1st baby. I said from the beginning I wanted one as all my friends ended up with emergency sections or bad tearing.
I was in and out in 24 hours. The first 3/4 days are pretty nasty but just keep on top of your meds. I have a tiny scar, no over hang and able to do everything I did before.
It wasn't a really calming experience as I was just so overwhelmed by everything but I wouldn't hesitate to have another one. I felt safe and in control which is exactly what I wanted.

cindarellasbelly · 13/07/2021 14:28

@Chelyanne definitely not my experience: we were told minimum expected stay for c section 48 hours but realistically 3-5 days, vaginal delivery 24 - 48 hours. Based on a circle of about 15 mothers I know, I don't know anyone who went home before day 3 after a section even with uncomplicated deliveries and I know some who were home same day from vaginal delivery. Appreciate different hospital policies in different places.

ivfgottwins · 13/07/2021 14:30

Yes

I nearly died and was left infertile within 2 years of my c section as the adhesions and scar tissue meant my tubes never worked again and I had 2 ruptured ectopics. It cost £35k to get pregnant again

ivfgottwins · 13/07/2021 14:31

[quote cindarellasbelly]@Chelyanne definitely not my experience: we were told minimum expected stay for c section 48 hours but realistically 3-5 days, vaginal delivery 24 - 48 hours. Based on a circle of about 15 mothers I know, I don't know anyone who went home before day 3 after a section even with uncomplicated deliveries and I know some who were home same day from vaginal delivery. Appreciate different hospital policies in different places.[/quote]

I nearly died and had an emergency c section for my twins in January- I was home after 2 nights without my babies as they stayed in NICU

DoyertyRascal · 13/07/2021 14:33

I think different hospitals have different policies on length of stay after a c-section, and it will also depend on how you recover and how your baby is.

I stayed in for 8 nights after DC1, as i haemorrhaged and needed blood transfusions. But I was out 48 hours on the nose after DC2, as it was all more straightforward.

Willwebebuyingnumber11 · 13/07/2021 14:33

Never once. Ive had 3 c sections and they were all amazing experiences. Amazing recoveries. No lasting “damage”

My SIL is on laxatives for the rest of her life due to the horrendous tearing she experienced during her vaginal birth and had to have 3 operations after it.

Willwebebuyingnumber11 · 13/07/2021 14:34

Oh and I’ve only ever stayed in overnight with all 3.

Willwebebuyingnumber11 · 13/07/2021 14:36

@Jakc not everyone gets an overhang. I’ve had 3 and don’t have a “pouch”

takingmytimeonmyride · 13/07/2021 14:36

I've had two emergency and two elective sections. I don't regret them, I don't feel I've missed out by not having a natural birth. I wanted babies, I got babies. How they got out didn't bother me (I'm autistic so appreciate this may be due to my black and white thinking)

I recovered quickly from all but the second (which was a proper emergency under general anaesthetic) the last one in particular was great, it was very relaxed and I got to hold baby as soon as he was born, doing skin to skin.

The only think that's not great is the apron. Although as I'm now obese that doesn't help.

Anon08 · 13/07/2021 14:42

[quote cindarellasbelly]@Chelyanne definitely not my experience: we were told minimum expected stay for c section 48 hours but realistically 3-5 days, vaginal delivery 24 - 48 hours. Based on a circle of about 15 mothers I know, I don't know anyone who went home before day 3 after a section even with uncomplicated deliveries and I know some who were home same day from vaginal delivery. Appreciate different hospital policies in different places.[/quote]
Think it depends on the trusts approach. Mine offer enhanced recovery post c-section which means you’ll be out within 24hrs all being well. Gone are the days of spending an extended time in hospital post birth.

Nettleskeins · 13/07/2021 14:44

Yes you are in control at the birth....all 20 minutes of it...
But after....you are less in control...pain after abdominal surgery, catheter, difficulties with milk coming in (yes this IS a factor after caesarean...your body is shocked even when you didn't "feel" the pain)
And numbness 5 inches round scar area which never goes away (2O years on)
And I've heard cases of adhesions and internal scar tissue causing all sorts of problems with next birth, placenta praevia etc.

I had two caesarians and both were recommended by consultant, but I would never choose it as an easier option.

I can still feel my c scar right now as I sit here 20 years on.

And surgery is a trauma whatever people say. You ve been sliced open. Your body wasn't expecting it.

thelazymum · 13/07/2021 14:46

I had a an emergency section 7 weeks ago and honestly it was the best birth experience I could have asked for, yes the recover is tough but I felt like it was more controlled and there weren't so many "what ifs" that could happen. I've been recommend to give birth naturally with our next baby but honestly I think I will try to do whatever I can to have an elective

Laney79 · 13/07/2021 14:48

I had a section, at my own request (no medical reason) as I felt it was the best option for me for my short and long term mental health.

It was absolutely the right decision and if I was lucky enough to have a second child I'd go down the same route. I also looked up the stats and even FOI'd my local trust to try and help me decide. In my area case only 7% of first time moms over 35 made it through birth uninjured (no tearing etc at all-the majority had 2nd degree tears, and then the rest had worse tearing/injuries ). 68% of first time moms aged over 35 had an assisted delivery/emer section or were induced -so for me the planned, more controlled nature of a section was the best option. Still risks but in my opinion more manageable and predictable than with a vaginal birth.

I had no infection, and I did take it very easy the first couple of weeks to allow my body time to recover which I think was important. But no regrets what so ever here. Right choice for me.

changedusername2021 · 13/07/2021 14:54

My planned section didn't feel like major surgery and everything was planned for so catheter antibiotics painkillers etc and my son was fine.
My emergency section was just awful. My labour was long and my pain was out of control and I vomited continuously and we just didn't progress.At some point my daughter turned and then suddenly the nurse hit a button and we were rushed to theatre. I had a spinal and elcs. Afterwards I was so ill, I carried on vomiting until my stitches came apart as needing a blood transfusion and antibiotics. I was really weak and it took a good couple of months to feel ok.

Bitofachinwag · 13/07/2021 14:55

@Willwebebuyingnumber11

Never once. Ive had 3 c sections and they were all amazing experiences. Amazing recoveries. No lasting “damage”

My SIL is on laxatives for the rest of her life due to the horrendous tearing she experienced during her vaginal birth and had to have 3 operations after it.

We can all think of horror vaginal vs c-sections. I am glad your sections went well, and I am sorry your SIL vaginal one didn't.
Laney79 · 13/07/2021 14:58

Oh and I was out the following day. Son born 11.19am was home the next day at 3pm

Bitofachinwag · 13/07/2021 14:58

@Nettleskeins

Yes you are in control at the birth....all 20 minutes of it... But after....you are less in control...pain after abdominal surgery, catheter, difficulties with milk coming in (yes this IS a factor after caesarean...your body is shocked even when you didn't "feel" the pain) And numbness 5 inches round scar area which never goes away (2O years on) And I've heard cases of adhesions and internal scar tissue causing all sorts of problems with next birth, placenta praevia etc.

I had two caesarians and both were recommended by consultant, but I would never choose it as an easier option.

I can still feel my c scar right now as I sit here 20 years on.

And surgery is a trauma whatever people say. You ve been sliced open. Your body wasn't expecting it.

You have no control during a c-section. The medical staff do.