Weight gain - I feel and look disgusting - 30 weeks

[Denver1994]

Hey all

Call me vein or shallow or whatever but I just can’t help the way that I feel.

I’ve always suffered with body image. My BMI was 26 when I fell pregnant this time. It’s my second baby and I was slighter bigger than the first time around.

With my first pregnancy I was tiny so neat and barely gain any weight felt and looked great!

This time I’ve gained 19lbs at 30 weeks. I feel and look absolutely huge. I literally cry every morning about the size of me. I fear I will never look or be attractive again and people just see me as a big girl now.

My face my arms and legs. All HUGE. I’ve become a recluse due to it I don’t leave the house unless absolutely needed.

Anyone else feeling the same 🙁

Not to that extreme.
I have a lot of excess skin after having large twins and my flab hangs below bump. I have a big bump which of course I love but that jiggly bit at the bottom I hate. I've been saving for a tummy tuck for a few years but will take me many more to have enough. Rest of the body I know I can fix up and have looking great again after birth as I've done it before. I don't mind stretch marks and it's a good job because I am covered in them.

Try getting active, it's not an immediate fix but if you feel like you're making an effort to work on it you may start to feel a bit better. It's not forever and you can get back in a shape you are happy with after if you put the work in, being down on yourself will make it a struggle to be motivated though.

3 stone here at 35 weeks 🙋🏼‍♀️ I’ve found the only times I care are when I try to wear something that’s too small for me or makes me look big and I cared a lot more when I kept on weighing myself. Now agreed with myself I won’t weigh myself until my due date (just out of interest to see what I lose). Also just wearing either very loose midi dresses or my stretchy high waisted maternity jeans and oversized tops now. It’s short term! The good thing I’ve found is I’m not missing out on too much just now anyway because of covid. I’m barely going out the house either (but due to not wanting to catch it right before I’m due). Try to look on the positive side of things.. not long to go 😊

I keep telling myself it’s only temporary but I’m just so worried about how I am going to look afterwards.

Am very lucky that I didn’t get a single stretch mark with my son and hoping this will be the same but because I’m only short and I have chunky legs anyway I lost look like a square on legs. I look how I did when I gave birth to my son 🙁

I have been trying to get out for walks snd things but I get awful stitches when I start to exert myself.

Gosh I wanted this baby so much I just hate being pregnant 😫

You are neither vain nor shallow, I get that it’s frustrating to have weight gain when you can’t do too much about it when you’re pregnant (35 weeks, I just want to be able to start running again!) Does it help if you make a plan, say when baby is 6 weeks (or depending on your recovery) I am going to start walking 2 miles a day 3x week and build from there? I’ve also got an old dress out that I adore but was too big for pre pregnancy as motivation to get back into after the baby arrives.
I don’t want to sound patronising here but please also remember to be kind to yourself, you have a lot going on what with growing another human and all! I literally have to remind myself that yes, weight gain is something I can be upset about but it needs to get shoved down the list because I have too many other things to think about to prepare for this baby.

Yep, I feel you. I was incredibly overweight when I had my first 9 years ago and I managed to get down to a healthy BMI 4 years ago and this pregnancy is the first time in that many years that I’ve seen myself put on weight. I’m 35 weeks now and for the first 27 I was underweight and now I’m piling it on and it’s had a big impact on my mental health. I’m doing everything I can to keep eating though and doing some light exercise. I haven’t got any magic advice about immediately feeling better as I still really don’t like what I see in the mirror but I’m putting everything I can into being rational and being a mum. Baby needs me to gain weight so I just have to put my desires second right now. Will be able to get back on it soon though.

You’ll get there xx

@Denver1994 I just wanted to say that I really really wanted this baby too! 6 years in the making actually… the fact is that you do not need to love pregnancy to love you baby. Don’t put more pressure on yourself… you’ll be a fab mum again xx

Thank you for your kind words ladies.

I’ve already got a toddler but aim to try get out walking more once baby is here once I’ve established life with 2!

I’m trying to be kind to myself and trying to accept this temporary form but my goodness it’s soooo hard!

I totally feel you. It’s really hard seeing your body change and worrying about what it will mean after the pregnancy. I’ve had days when I’ve cried about it because my body is important to me and it’s very unpleasant feeling so out of control with what it looks like. Just to put your weight gain into perspective though, I’ve gained more than you and I’m at 28 weeks - gaining 19 pounds is not a lot! And remember quite a bit of it will be fluid etc and will be lost quickly after the birth. It’s totally ok to feel upset, but I would try to also be kind to yourself and remember a) you’re growing a human, b) this is temporary, and c) there will be things you can do after the birth to help your body recover and get to the weight you want. In the meantime, try to focus on things you can control, like eating healthily, staying active, putting a plan in place for exercising after the birth, finding clothes you like etc. Also: people aren’t judging your body as much as you probably think they are!

Definitely want to echo what @CentralLondonPregnant said at the end about people not judging you as much as you think, I’ve often caught myself looking at other pregnant women and having the following thoughts -

• God it’s stuffy today, I wonder how they’re coping?
• trying to guess how far along they are and whether they are having a boy or girl
• imagining a bit of solidarity knowing how tough it is at various stages.

Are you eating well and exercising?

Yep, I was 8 stone before I fell pregnant with my third had a lovely figure. Lovely neat bumps with my first two, this pregnancy well what can I say I am 37 weeks and gained 5 1/2 stone so far!!!
Never ever been this size in my life I hate everything and look like I’m wearing a fat suit, I’ve just had to tell myself it’s not forever and that once baby is born I can’t get back to feeling me again.
I feel selfConscious in everything I wear and it’s hard going from being someone who can wear anything and everything.
It’s not the end of the world and there’s unfortunately nothing you can do about it just roll with it and know that your body has a job to do , I view it in a practical way which has helped a lot xx

I was the other way around - ballooned with baby 1, didn’t with baby 2. I recommend getting out every day for a brisk walk with your baby and toddler, even if you don’t think you can cope, try. I managed school runs with my baby, walking four miles a day with a newborn in January felt hellish, but it helped me to get back to a smaller size. Plus I went dairy free for 9 months, that also helped. You’ll be ok, don’t worry so much.

I'm 28 weeks and gained close to 19lbs. I find what I'm wearing makes a massive difference to how big I look, maybe try treating yourself to some lovely flattering new clothes?

It’s so stressful… I haven’t even gained weight yet and I’m stressed out.

My weight ballooned about five years ago due to some health issues. Once they were resolved, I slowly, steadily got my weight down over the course of three years. I FINALLY had a healthy BMI when I got pregnant at the start of the year.

Since I’m vegan, I consulted with niteionist to make sure I was eating right, and she had me eat so much that I felt sick. Totally stretched my stomach out and had me craving bigger servings. Then I go to the doctor for a 7 week scan and they told me I didn’t need to gain any weight in the first trimester. Then I miscarried and ate everything in sight.

I wish I could have gotten my weight back down before this pregnancy. It’s wild to think I’m going to top out around the number that was my highest weight ever, and I’ll need to lose it all again and then some.

I know it doesn’t necessarily help how you feel but 19lb at 30w is totally normal, assuming you started the pregnancy at a healthy weight.

FWIW I’ve been seeing a dietician all through this pregnancy as was so desperate to not pile on the 30kg I did in my previous pregnancies. I’ve currently 33w and have gained around 9kg so far (so about 20lbs) and the dietician is very happy with this - we are aiming for a final overall gain of around 12kg. Based on my last pregnancies, I expect to lose about 8kg of this in the first ten days or so, and then the rest will come off in the following weeks and months.

To be honest, although I’ve gained 5 1/2 stone I’m more assed that my baby is ok and heathly than what I look like, I just told myself to get the fuck over it, at least I’m alive healthy and my baby is healthy, it’s not the end of the world and pregnancy is obviously going to change my body and I don’t have a say in how that happens just gotta accept it and move on

Ah I feel you OP. I was a size 8 pre-pregnancy this time and in my first pregnancy I put on the minimum amount of weight that was healthy, not through any effort on my part, although I did initially lose a load of weight in the first trimester due to HG. My bump was tiny, everyone used to comment on it, my baby was a fine size and I felt ok about my changing body. I got a few stretch marks on my boobs but that was it and when I look back at photos of me only 3 weeks PP well I looked great tbh!

This time... I had put on a whole stone by the time I was about 24 weeks . I'm 28 weeks and haven't weighed myself since because I'm too stressed about it. My bump is huge, I look now how I did at the END of my pregnancy with my DD. I feel uncomfortable already with the bump which wasn't really a problem for me last time until I was practically term as I was so small. I'm worried this baby will be huge - I had a horrible instrumental delivery last time with permanent pelvic floor damage and my daughter wasn't even big. I'm worried about my usually flat stomach never going back to how it was before given how stretched out the skin is going to be this time and am dreading getting stretch marks on my tummy. I'm worried I'm going to be too big to fit into my size 8 maternity tops by the end because I already feel like they don't have loads of space and dreading having to spend more on clothes again just for a month at the end or something if that happens. Literally just hate what I see in the mirror right now.