Third trimester and fears!

[Martha200]

I am 32 weeks, having a planned section, and recently the negative thoughts have started popping into my head about the birth and the baby.

My DH wants me to be open about how I feel, so when I tell him some of the thoughts I am having he tells me to stop because I have no reason to believe any of them. (probably because it makes him think about it too!)

Just general thoughts, like what if there are problems with the baby (will I cope) have I eaten healthily enough? will I bond ok with the baby, what if I don't.. anything negative it's there! Just wondered if there is anyone else freaking themselves out started having vivid dreams again which upset me as well about the baby.. I was like this first time around (but no MN to unload at!)

please dont worry, i think everyone feels like that as the big day approaches, i take it this will be your first?

I had all those feelings, in fact I don't know anyone who didn't worry so close to the birth.

I had number two 5 months ago and was worried sick about how I would cope with two. (There were days when I struggled with one!)

We are coping just fine and i'm sure you will too. My 2nd was a planned section as she was breech so I was worried about whether or not the baby was healthy and how I would cope with the section. The section went without a hitch and was a lovely experience.

Do you have friends and family that can help out for the first few weeks? If you know you have people you can call if you feel you are not coping you may be able to relax a bit more.

Please don't spend the rest of your pregnancy worrying, you will be fine. Try to enjoy being pregnant, concentrate on one day at a time for now.

Good luck

Thanks.
This is my second. First was an emergency section in the end and spent a fortnight in hospital as jaundice was not picked up on until a nurse from another ward was passing through and demanded DS was moved to the special care unit, he was orange and so close to needing a blood transfusion. Staff on ward weren't that attentive when we had expressed our concerns about his sleepiness so will always be pleased for that nurse

I was also let out of hospital with a bleeding 'wound' and took a lovely community midwife to be horrified and sort me out before any infection occurred.

Am at a different hosp. as we have moved but my consultant is a miserable cow and wrote lots of negative things, like organs being nicked and clots etc etc, on my notes about the risks associated with the section and said bugger all about why I have decided to go with the planned section option. Midwife told me to ignore her!

I really want to adopt the positive, go with the flow approach, but am in that niggling what if it's worse mode, which I know is not helpful! Just good to hear I am not alone with these type of thoughts!

my god, no wonder you're worried. you have a supportive mw and dh, you will be fine. planned sections are much safer than emergency ones.

Hi Martha200, those dreams are horrible aren't they? I know just how you feel, I had an ECS and also a rough time in hospital - it stays with you for years, well it did me. I am also in my third trimester (31 weeks) and having the same weird dreams and thoughts about the birth, but I am making a consious effort to remain positive although it's hard, as I believe negative thoughts attacts more of the same. It's important for you and your baby to be as positive and relaxed about what will happen as possible, as stress itself can do harm and cause complications. Worrying about what might be will not stop it from happening so try to let it go,and as for so called experts take no notice - you are the best expert there will ever be on yourself and your baby, if you know something is wrong don't be afraid to assert yourself, you have every right to have a say when it comes to your body or your child. Take care & lots of hugsx