Advice please?

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I’m early into my 2nd trimester and finding myself really struggling with my mental health

I’m having thoughts of regretting my pregnancy, I don’t feel connected to my baby yet (although I know this can be normal as it’s early on) and I’m always anxious and upset?

I suffer with anxiety/depression anyway and I suffered with really bad physical symptoms during my first trimester

But right now I just feel so guilty because of how I do regret getting pregnant ? All I can see everywhere is how my life is over, how my relationship will struggle and just how horrible it is being a parent

I also have a gender preference which I won’t go into detail about but that’s making my guilt worse.

Is it normal to feel like this? Considering I have mental health problems pre pregnancy anyway and my hormones are probably raging

But it’s really scaring me I feel too deep into it and I’m scared, what if I can’t connect to my baby and I just end up hating motherhood and regret it so much?!

You need to talk/ tell your midwife urgently.
You can get good help with this.

Please ask your midwife for a referral for the perinatal mental health team. I did this recently & had an assessment with the team which was really reassuring but I'm now on a waiting list to get assigned a mental health nurse.

Thank you both ladies. I’ll have to mention it again, I mentioned at my booking appointment now I felt and she said “you’re not at risk so I won’t refer you” and although I’m not at risk of TRIGGER WARNING - suicide or self harm, I’m still really low

And the fact I’m regretting my pregnancy is scaring me

Thank you both so far

Yeah at my booking appointment my midwife said I was low risk, the mental health team strongly disagreed & said I should've been referred straight away

@JackJack84 was this during covid your booking appt?

Mine was over the phone which I think didn’t help regarding picking up how I was feeling etc, on the other side of the phone I was physically drained from sickness and emotionally drained from it all but she said she wasn’t worried about me at all

Yeah I had my booking appointment over the phone in March then bloods the next day face to face where they didn't ask about mental health at all. It's definitely harder to gauge over the phone but you need to advocate for yourself I've found.

It was actually someone on here who is part of a mental health team who told me to refer myself & I'm so glad I did. The nurse who came to see me must've said about 4 times 'I'm so glad you referred yourself'.

Help is available, please don't suffer in silence. Pregnancy is such an anxious, scary time so make sure you're well supported. Wishing you luck! x

@JackJack84 it’s so hard isn’t it I had my booking in May and then when I went for bloods it was a HV taking it and she kept reminding me she wasn’t going to be my midwife so I didn’t say anything

But thank you very much I see my midwife soon and after reading this it’s made me realise I do need to speak up and ask for the help rather than see if they think I need it, as I know I do

Hope your pregnancy is going well

I was told at my booking that I could ask to see the mental health midwife at any stage and i would be referred straight away. Have a look on the website for your trust and see if there is a number for them.

Hiya lovely, how you feel is valid.
I’m currently with the perinatal mental health team for my cptsd and generalised anxiety disorder and they have been amazing. Ask you’re midwife for a referral and please be as brave and honest as you’ve been here.
Xx