HELP - found out pregnant at 30 weeks

[silvereye]

hoping to get some reassurance - i m q overweight and have had VERY irregular periods for many years. to cut a long story short i just found out that i'm 30 weeks pregnant and am so so worried as i have been drinking regularly for last 7 months and on occasion q heavily (maybe 8 times)
i don't know what to do as i'm obviously far too far along for an abortion or anything
please help calm my nerves

Nothing you can do now !
What has the midwife said ?

What a surprise that must have been! Tentative congratulations.

The likelihood is that your baby will be fine despite the drinking, there is a chapter on the evidence on alcohol in pregnancy in the book "Expecting Better" which you should find helpful and hopefully reassuring.

I hope the midwives can reassure you too. Presumably you're having whatever scans and screening tests they can do at this stage?

Presumably your due date is in September? You might find it helpful to join in with the September thread www.mumsnet.com/Talk/birth_clubs/4112156-September-2021-babies

Wow it must have been a shock to find out there's a baby coming so soon! Did you not feel any kicks or anything? Regarding the drinking, what's done is done and there's no point worrying about it now. Once everything looks okay on the scan then I wouldn't stress over it now.

Other than worrying about the alcohol intake, how are you feeling about being pregnant? Is it your first baby?

What a shock for you. Hopefully you can get seen as a matter of urgency for a scan and I’m sure everything is fine. Let us know how you get on.
Have you told your partner? I hope the shock is waring off a bit. How do you know youre that far along?

Try not to worry too much about the alcohol. It's only really in the last 20 years that pregnant women have been told to avoid alcohol completely,. Prior to that, most women drank at least some alcohol during pregnancy (and many also smoked!), but most had perfectly healthy babies. There is a 99.99% chance that your baby will be absolutely fine.

A family member of mine didn't find out she was pregnant until she went in to labour. She had been drinking heavily as part of being at uni. Baby was absolutely fine and it now a happy and healthy 6 year old boy. Congratulations and hope the shock has now sunk in x

i have had feelings in my stomach but thought it was gas from bad diet. i worked out i'm 30 weeks cos
that is when i last had sex - my partner and i broke up shortly after. feeling so anxious and unprepared

@silvereye

i have had feelings in my stomach but thought it was gas from bad diet. i worked out i'm 30 weeks cos that is when i last had sex - my partner and i broke up shortly after. feeling so anxious and unprepared

Have you wanted a baby? How are you feeling about the situation (other than being shocked) and have you got any real life support around you? X

Oh gosh OP that must of been a shock for you. It's only natural to be feeling anxious.

I wouldn't worry too much about the alcohol. The risks are very small.

Wow what a shock !!

Wow OP, what a shock for you. Please don’t worry at all about the alcohol, it’s very unlikely to have done any harm.
How did you end up finding out?
When will you be having a scan?
X

Have you booked in yet?

Bless you. If it helps, a good friend of mine had a very similar situation. Found out with 9 weeks to go and she’d had a big boozy birthday bash, totally oblivious. Her little boy is a wild 6 year old now, with absolutely no issues whatsoever.
Wishing you some calming vibes to get your head round this! Do you have family or friends for support around you?

Sorry that the relationship didn't work out. Hope you have supportive family and friends nearby.

I don't know if you've got as far as thinking about finances yet but after baby is born you will be able to claim Child Benefit and probably Universal Credit too, as well as child maintenance from the father.

What a shock for you! My friend found out she was pregnant with her second as she was in the loo about to give birth 😬 She’d lived normally and that surprise is now 7 and full of life.

@Anon08 - wow, that's incredible! I always find those type of stories fascinating and a bit surreal :-) But especially with the second baby..?!

OP, as others said - no point in worrying about this now, just try to stay calm and get your head around this. Try and put plans in place, think about finances and how you're going to cope in the first months. Best of luck to you and your baby xx

What do you mean you worked out you're 30 weeks?? Have you not had scans to confirm it?

Wow, what a shock! Have you got someone to talk to?

How have you found out? I’d have thought a scan would be the only way this late on - if you’ve had one to confirm pregnancy, they should be able to tell you how far along you are, and when to expect baby. Scanning late is more difficult, but it’s absolutely possible.

Get a Mat B1 form (from Midwife or hospital) as soon as possible and tell your work!

My friend who found out very late on got rushed to a scan and was told she was approximately 23 weeks. She was considering an abortion (no judgement please), so they told her to go back the following week for another scan to better date baby and they said "oops, no, you're 31 weeks!" She then gave birth about 6 weeks later!