Irrational fear of MMC

[Sleepyquest]

I'm hoping somebody can talk sense into me because I'm losing sleep and can't concentrate on work.

I have an irrational fear that I will experience a MMC. This is my second pregnancy. First pregnancy was successful. My reasons for stressing are that I'm not experiencing very many symptoms this time. No sore boobs at all, sickness has eased earlier than before. My uterus does seem to have grown though. I just keep playing out what I'll do if the worst happens - why do I do this?

It doesn't help that MMC seem very common on here?! Are they actually common??

I was the exact same. I had a successful first pregnancy and I was acting as if it was bound to happen. Looking for blood when wiping etc. I think as miscarriages are so common (unfortunately) i expected it to happen. Never felt like this with my first, not once!
When my symptoms totally went I panicked and would come back a few days later which made me think I wish I just enjoyed those symptom free days!!! All my symptoms completely stopped at 9 weeks too.
After my first scan I felt more at ease. Try not to worry, worrying won't change anything... good luck xxx

Ps I'm 34 weeks with a healthy baby girl now xx

Thank you @Gemmaemilyx I actually did feel like this with my first too, and she was such an easy pregnancy!

What you've said about symptoms has really reassured me thank you. Congrats to you x

@Sleepyquest congratulations on your pregnancy. It is normal to fear a miscarriage of any kind.

I had a missed miscarriage and they are slightly less common than miscarriages, I believe but they can and do happen. Try to tell yourself, 'today, I am pregnant' each day.

Thank you @yepitsmey I'm so sorry you went through that. Was it at the 12 week scan?

@Sleepyquest no, I'd paid for another private scan beforehand. I had it between 8 and 9 weeks.

It probably seems more prevalent on this site because there’s discussion about it which prompts people to come out of the woodwork about it. Also the more pregnancies people have the more likely they are to sadly become the 1 in 4 that suffers a loss
As someone who has been on both sides all I would say is that worrying about it will not make it happen nor stop it from happening if it is going to. You live in the now and today you are pregnant with a healthy baby and will be until you are told otherwise

We usually come to these forums when seeking help or to share our stories so usually those who are struggling which is what makes it seem like almost everyone is going through it.

Not to say that it doesn't affect everyone and many women do go through this, but I completely get the anxiety. I was on here every night and every time I read about someone's mmc or miscarriage I convinced myself the exact same would happen to me.
I'm 13+5 and still convinced I will have a mmc

I've just had surgical management for a MMC, I was still really sick and had every pregnancy symptom under the sun even after the baby had stopped growing and the heart beat had stopped, I would say your symptoms or lack of don't really reflect whether a pregnancy will be successful or not. Good luck 💐

Thank you all. I'm really trying to remind myself that I have zero control and what will be will be. However I am a massive worrier so easier said than done.

Sorry for posters who have experienced a MMC I hope you are doing ok now.

OP I’ve had 2 MMC and have a nearly 2 year old son and am 14 weeks pregnant with our second. I understand your fear, but would you consider a private scan so you can see what the situation is? Before this pregnancy I had a private scan at 8 weeks and so I found out there that things had stopped beforehand. It was helpful for me as it meant I could be seen by EPU and organise the operation to get the whole thing over with

I would also echo @ChinChilly I had massively strong symptoms with my first pregnancy and that was an early MMC I found out about at 11 weeks. Symptoms or lack of aren’t necessarily relevant to whether you are having a successful pregnancy x

@Buffyfan26 I can't really afford it this time £80-£100 in my area plus last time I had one, I just didn't find the staff very friendly and I worry that if the worst had happened, I'd rather be in a medical setting if you see what I mean?

@Sleepyquest yep I can see your point there. This pregnancy I had an early scan at EPU and preferred that it is was going to go wrong I was in the right place. I hope goes ok with you, fingers crossed x

*if it was going to go wrong I meant

@Sleepyquest @Buffyfan26 I had an early private scan and saw a heartbeat which kind of lured me into a false sense of security so when there was no heartbeat at the 12 week scan it was a real shocker. I've had 3 MCs now so I'm being reffered to the recurrent miscarriage clinic so my next pregnancy will involve extra scans but if I wasn't heading down that route I probably wouldn't pay for another private early scan.

I know it easier said than down but you really just need to take each day as it comes, and if something is going to go wrong in early pregnancy it's unlikely they can do anything to stop it anyway, how many weeks are you?

Hi @ChinChilly I'm so sorry for your losses. You make a lot of sense. I'm 10 weeks and no issues so far bar these low intensity symptoms

With my first pregnancy, my early pregnancy symptoms like morning sickness didn't really start until around 11 weeks and that resulted in a healthy baby. With my second pregnancy, I was also much more nervous about miscarriage. Morning sickness had started much earlier at 5/6 weeks, but the pregnancy ended in miscarriage at 7 weeks. Strangely I think with future pregnancies I'll probably be more nervous with earlier symptoms!

@Sleepyquest I don't think MMC's that get upto your routine scan with no bleeding or pain are that common, we probably just see it more here because of the nature of the website. Hope everything goes well for you!

Thank you @ChinChilly I hope you get your precious bundle soon x

Update: it was irrational! Baby was snoozing but all good

@Sleepyquest glad everything was ok, hopefully you can try to relax and enjoy your pregnancy now!

Thanks @ChinChilly I hope I can calm down a bit x

I have had two miscarriages before at 5 weeks and 2 and 4 weeks and 2.

Since I never reached the 8+4 that I am at now, I'm constantly worried that I'm going to miscarry or have a missed miscarriage. I have my second EPAC scan this coming Tuesday and I'm concerned about it. At my first early scan at 6 weeks, they found a heartbeat. I'm worried that they won't find a heartbeat when I go on Tuesday. How can I get past this irrational fear?