Telling Work before I’m potentially let go…

[sociallydistained]

Without giving too much away I am in a job that feels like it may be coming to a natural end. I am 9+6 weeks pregnant and with this being a worry am willing my 12 week scan date to arrive. However, yesterday boss suggested we have an informal meeting next week regarding the end of the year….

So basically I feel I have to tell them first! As in start the meeting with my news even though I’d prefer to tell after 12 weeks. Does this sound like the sensible thing to do?

There is a chance I’m not being let go (the thing is I actually want to be made redundant and I won’t be going back to this job after baby) so I really don’t know how to handle it but feel I can’t lie through my teeth about possible changes to my role knowing I will be telling them shortly after I am pregnant.

Another issue is I am trying to move house and port my mortgage and I’m worried I won’t be approved for a higher mortgage unless I am earning what I do now so the pressure is really on to get that sorted. I’m just feeling so much pressure at the moment especially as this baby was unplanned but now very much wanted. I was awake through the night with anxiety about it all.

Does anyone know what my best move is re the meeting next week?

They can still terminate your employment if you do disclose your pregnancy. They are less likely to have you top of the list though so it's 50/50.

I wouldn't tell them pre dating scan but then I've had several 1st trimester losses.

I think you need to be clear what you want here. Do you want to preserve your job if possible, or do you want to be made redundant? You seem rather muddled on that score.

If you want to preserve your job, you will tilt things slightly in that direction by telling them (probably). But if you actually want to be made redundant, I'd keep quiet and let the chips fall where they may.

I'd tell them now if I was in this position.

I'd tell them if it were me.

@BuffySummersReportingforSanity

I think you need to be clear what you want here. Do you want to preserve your job if possible, or do you want to be made redundant? You seem rather muddled on that score.

If you want to preserve your job, you will tilt things slightly in that direction by telling them (probably). But if you actually want to be made redundant, I'd keep quiet and let the chips fall where they may.

Love your username by the way.

I am confused mostly because I don’t think redundancy is going to be as easy as that. I think it’s going to be a reduction of hours/change to role first which I guess I can refuse? But I’m not sure I’m brave enough.

Because of my relationship with them (a very personal role) and the length of time I’ve been here I think I need to be honest on both fronts… about being pregnant and not coming back. This is now my second job and I am planning to return to my main job only after baby is born. However, I have a lot of respect for this job and have been here a long time!

Tell them you’re pregnant but do not say you want to leave post baby. You can say that nearer the time.

If you want to stay and get your maternity pay I would tell them

If they are offering redundancies I would tell them your pregnant and level with them explaining your pregnant and they are better off paying you a redundancy than keeping you on maternity, but that leaves you to worry about not having a job after the redundancy money runs out-

but this runs the risk of the employer refusing to pay you redundancy and keeping you on but will be assuming you will not return after your maternity which means you will have to go back after your maternity leave otherwise you will have to pay the job back but it sounds like your not happy at that job and the thought of having a baby and not enjoying your maternity leave because you know you have to go back to a job your not happy in sucks.

Mortgage wise - if you are made redundant or leave or your job situation changes for less money or no money you will struggle completely with getting a higher mortgage accepted and will have to get another job with the same pay or higher and likely be in that job for a minimum of 3 months or possibly 6 months ! And prove you have worked continuously for 'x' amount of news

I don't think being pregnant is protection from being let go due to poor performance for example. Also depends what type of contract your on.

Thanks for the replies. It’s more a case of this job coming to a natural end mutually and I think that’s what the discussion will be about. My employers have taken care of me every step of the past 15+ years so I have no doubt they will be fair. I think I’m just anxious at the timing of it. I knew a discussion was to come at some point but I didn’t expect it before my 12 week scan so now it’s a case of telling them before I have to but I feel I have to be honest in regards to my situation otherwise another meeting will be called in a few weeks 🤦🏻‍♀️

So I’m going to go with it and hope for the best. I was hoping on being employed there for the same hours until my maternity in January for obvious reasons.