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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Pregnant with 3rd child and unsure…

6 replies

whenitsover · 30/06/2021 19:16

I am early into a 3rd pregnancy, that was kind of planned. I have two young children and to be honest not sure how I will cope. DH is hands on but soon will be working away most days and will not be on hand to support with the children, let alone the new baby. I am also at a point in my career where after having my first two feel I am back on track and genuine opportunity to climb the ladder. DH is the main breadwinner and doesn’t have the opportunity to move jobs (and I wouldn’t want him to as this is a dream job for him).

I’m terrified of how my life will change with a third: I will be the main carer during the work week, and it could affect my ability to go back to work (in any capacity), thus impacting my career progression. With the two I feel I could balance it all - be the main carer and also do well at work.

I don’t have any support on hand - both sets of our parents either don’t live nearby / work and they are getting old so I don’t feel I can ask much of them either.

I’m feeling terrible in this pregnancy and it might well be clouding my judgement, but I am secretly hoping for a miscarriage (I know awful), as I don’t know how I will Cope.

I had an abortion a long time ago, and whilst my head knows it was the right thing to do, I still feel riddled with guilt.

I’m at that point where I am seriously contemplating an abortion, but would am conscious I could be missing something, given my current situation. Will I regret having an abortion? Or will things just slot into place with a 3rd? Any help or advice much appreciated…

OP posts:
whenitsover · 30/06/2021 19:27

Just to add: kind of planned means that we were trying but due to my age didn’t think it would happen (stupid i know). At that point I don’t think I thought it through and was focussed on how lovely
New babies are.

Life is good with my two children; they are getting to the age where they are more self sufficient and I Can see getting me life back - spending time on me, self care etc.

Just feel a 3rd would put me right back at square 1..

OP posts:
Diddlydou · 18/07/2021 08:59

Hi!
Im in exactly the same situation. How are things for you now? How are you feeling?

Ameteurmum · 18/07/2021 16:19

I’m having #3 and my next oldest is almost 3 and a half so so much more independent, I do worry about being back at square 1 again with a baby, I’ve also just not long secured a really good promotion and felt I was getting somewhere with a career that had previously been on the back burner as I juggled work around other commitments. However, after a loss last year there is nothing I want more than this little 19 week mango sized baby, I am sure we can make everything else work around them!

whenitsover · 18/07/2021 21:19

Hi both

Unfortunately I miscarried last week. Was still feeling unsure about the pregnancy, but the loss is still hard to take.

Ameteurmum, all the best and I hope it all goes well xx

Diddlydou, how are you feeling about things? xx

OP posts:
Kanaloa · 18/07/2021 21:23

Oh I’m so sorry about that. Hope you have some support for your loss, and can invest some time into self-care.

Ameteurmum · 18/07/2021 21:44

Im so sorry to hear this, please go easy on yourself, it’s a lot to take in regardless of how you were feeling beforehand xxx

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