Am I been unreasonable? Miscarriage

[Annamiller12]

Hi ladies, very upset here. I had a miscarriage last month at 9weeks 1 day and I'm currently having my first period since the miscarriage which is very difficult. Anyway my OH has lost our baby's scan pictures which happen to be my favourite ones (the only ones where baby is visible). I know it was just an accident but I am so upset and can't get my head around how somebody can accidentally throw scan pictures away. The thought of my baby's pictures burning in garbage has broken my heart so badly. We have rang the clinic to try get copy's but they only keep them on their system for a short time. These pictures can't be replaced and I'm devastated. I can't stop been mad at my OH he thinks I'm been unreasonable and over reacting but those pictures are the only ones I had of my baby and they can't be replaced. The other scan photos we got is just the sac (before the fetal pole was visible). Would you ladies be mad at your OH if they threw your babies scan pictures away? I guess it doesn't help that I'm on my period and I wish I was still pregnant 😣

Personally I would be devastated

Because he'd binned them but also because he obviously didn't regard them as highly as I did which would make me sad

I'm sorry you're struggling right now, however you feel is completely normal

Take care of yourself

@ElmtreeMama thank you, I really am devastated x

YANBU. I never look at old scan pictures from my losses but I like knowing where they are and that I could look at them if I wanted to. I'd be devastated too.

On the one hand, people make mistakes but otoh it's more his attitude that's upsetting and the fact he doesn't 'get' why it's a big deal to you.

I'm sorry this happened and for your loss.

Hi OP, I'm really sorry for your loss. Are you in the UK? If so there is a Instagram page called worst girl gang ever that support during baby loss and beyond and if you look on their highlights they have stories about getting old scan pictures from hospitals, I believe you go through PALS. I don't want to get your hopes up but I know a lot of women have gotten pictures that way?

You’re clearly still upset about the miscarriage, which Is totally understandable, but I don’t think it’s fair to take it out on your OH. Maybe get some counselling, and I say that nicely.

Thanks so much for all your advice ladies ❤️

Hi Op, you could try calling the hospital that did your scan, they may be able to print another off for you x

Oh gosh so sorry, I missed the part where you called the clinic already. X

Thabks ladies, unfortunately the clinic were no help and apparently don't keep the photos on their system for longer than a few week 💔

Sorry for your loss OP.💐
You are not being unreasonable, DP should've checked thoroughly and I'd be really upset if it was my DH. I think id feel and react much the same as you.

That being said, if he's sorry and can understand where you are coming from then mistakes do happen.

X

Would have been annoyed but I have digital copies of all scan pictures so wouldn't be the end of the world not having a hard copy.
Men don't see it the same way we do so probably best to try forgive him so you have him to lean on while you are still grieving.

@Annamiller12 I'm really sorry for your loss.

I understand your feelings, having gone through a miscarriage myself.

I'm sure he is feeling so bad about it and remember, he will be hurting too.

When I had my missed miscarriage I never wanted my photo but that was just me. You will heal in time but it really does hurt. I had Councelling which helped.

You have every right to be upset, angry and devastated!

I’m so sorry to hear about your miscarriage and I’m sending all my love to you.

Xxx

I’d be upset too and I’m sorry for what’s happened. I think your partner probably does feel awful and guilty and he’s trying to say it’s not a big deal to take some of the heat off him but actually not acknowledging the impact of his mistake is worse in a way.

I hope you find comfort in a rainbow baby soon x