Pregnancy and Hen Party

[Tink2209]

Hi,

I recently found out that I'm pregnant, it's very early days so no guarantees this is a sticky baby, but I'm an over-thinker and a planner so I like to be prepared.

My step-sister is arranging her hen weekend, a weekend away in Liverpool (I'm in South Wales) in September. By that time I'll be around 15 weeks or so. I'm worried about committing to go, and then changing my mind / not feeling up to going. I'm also not wanting to take any attention away from her (not that I expect attention, hate it).

Has anyone gone on an away Hen Party whilst pregnant, early in the second trimester? I'm also a little concerned around Covid, especially given the stats for Liverpool, though I have had both of my vaccines.

Thanks!

I think it just totally depends on you.
Can you tolerate drunk people sober? I know I can't 😂
Would you be able to enjoy yourself fully?
Once your SS knows your preg talk to her about it I'm sure she would understand.
You can always book on and drop out if you don't feel it.
Hen dos aren't much fun for pregnant people IMO.

@IncyWincy21I don't mind drunk people at all haha, and I'm not a massive drinker. I'm sure I'd have a nice time, even if I am early in my second trimester.

My SS would totally understand I know that, just realistically I'm probably not going to tell her about the pregnancy until a few weeks before, and I don't want to let her down or mess her about.

I think it would really depend on the kind of hen do, I went to one at a spa while pregnant (although I was in my third trimester rather than first) and it was fine, I just dipped out of the drinking and went to bed earlier than the others, which was fine.

If it's a full all day drinking extravaganza then I wouldn't even show up as it'll just be miserable for you.

If it's a mixture of activities, say a life drawing class, a show etc then meal then drinks you could just go for the bits you'd be able to do then leave earlier and I'm sure everyone would just appreciate that you made an effort to do the parts you were able to and show up for your step sister.

@Warrickdaviesasplates thank you. My step sister isn't really into just full day drinking, though I'm not sure if there's anything specific planned activity wise. My stepmum and some of her friends are coming, they're all 50-60 ish, so I may just hang out with them, they're a bit more chilled I think.

Hey! I’m in a very similar situation with a friends hen do at the end of august when I’ll be around 16wks. I feel like it’s too early to tell them at the mo and feel weird telling the organiser (who I don’t know) in case she says something to my friend who’s hen it is. All I know so far is that it’s a city hen do for the weekend (about a 2.5hr train ride away) and I’ve got the exact same concerns as you. I think I’m going to get a bit more info about what activities they’ll be doing and just base it on that as I don’t fancy being there if it’s all day drinking. It’s so tricky isn’t it because like you say, it’s too early to say anything yet but by the time I’m ready to tell them, it’ll be short notice to drop out!

@AllSinging, glad I'm not the only one thinking like this!

it's so hard to know, and its very very early for me, but I know if it was me, I'd want to know if someone wasn't sure on coming. I also hate lying so I don't want to make an excuse.

I'm considering going for an early scan in a couple of weeks, at which point we may tell our parents, so I could tell her around the same time. Just scared of telling people too early in case something happens.

I understand the anxiety around the 1st trimester and not wanting to commit to thing in case the worst happens prior.
I went on a friends hen when I was in the 3rd trimester with our 2nd, he was a big baby so I was pretty huge but had a nice time. I wasn't bothered about not drinking and had no problems with drunk people getting too rowdy and handsy with bump.

It's a tough one... I went on a hen do when I was 36 weeks pregnant last time. I didn't drink - we had afternoon tea, did some nice bits and then went out for cocktails etc. I excused myself at the point they were off to loud clubs/11pm! I was quite happy with that... the only thing that would concern me now is Covid numbers and depending on the activity, how exposed I would be?

@SillyBry I don't have any details on activities unfortunately, but I'm sure I'd have a nice time. I'm more worried about the Covid numbers, but I can always wear a mask / visor even if not required and be as careful as I can I suppose. I've had my vaccine so hopefully all be fine. I'm definitely more concerned about the covid stuff than anything else at the moment.

@Chelyanne thank you. I doubt I'll even be showing much by then, I'm a little anxious about having to make excuses for not drinking etc, but I'm sure it'll be fine.

I’ve just been to my friends hen party this weekend at 11 weeks, I told the bride as I’m a bridesmaid and the rest of the bridesmaids help me keep the cover of ‘no drinking’ but I actually managed fine, people really don’t notice what your doing when there all having a good time. I would go and enjoy it! You can always go to bed early if you want!

@Ya91 how long ago did you book / arrange to go? I'm glad you had a lovely time, and I really appreciate your message. Thank you!

Presume they're not doing anything you can't do, like trampolining or white water rafting or anything? If not, I reckon since you think you'll be okay around the drunk people it'll be fine. I'd book to go, and then if closer to the time you are having a hard time with the pregnancy (pain/sickness etc) then cancel, just as you would if you were sick for any other reason - it's no different! Obviously you may not be able to get your money back at a late stage though, so up to you if you want to take that risk.

I think most pregnant women would be fine for most things at 15 weeks, so it'll only be if you're particularly unlucky that you can't go.

Wouldn't worry about Covid (any more than you would if you weren't pregnant). There's no extra risk until the third trimester.

@FeistySheep thank you! This is reassuring.

I went to my friends hen party at 19 weeks pregnant, I called her the week before to give her the heads up that I was pregnant and she had non-alcohic prosecco waiting at the room for me when I arrived (tasted awful but I appreciated the gesture!). I had such a great time, I thought I might end up in bed earlier than everyone else but once I was there enjoying the craic I had plenty energy to keep going all night!

It depends entirely on your pregnancy. My first pregnancy, I went away on a hen and had a great time. This time, I’m 21 weeks and still throwing up all day. You can’t know I’m afraid.

When I was pregnant with my DS I went to two hen weekends and four weddings over the course of the pregnancy. It was fine, nothing to worry about and if you're in your second trimester you can just let them know why you aren't drinking/taking part in certain activities. I did have one activity that I couldn't do, but it was fine, I just took myself off for a walk while they were there instead. Is there anything specifically you're worried about?

I went to a hen night when pregnant and it was still fun. Bit annoying towards end of the night when others were drunk but fine for a night. I would struggle to enjoy a weekend so I would avoid hen weekends where possible.

That said there are some people who I would go no matter what. My sister, one cousin and two best friends. These hens would not be missed unless completely unaffordable or someone seriously ill.

So for me it depends how close you are to step sister.

I've been to a couple of hen party's pregnant. 1 was a weekend away and it was totally fine. Obviously every pregnancy is different but i think 15 weeks would be as good a time as any, you'll be past the 1st trimester exhaustion/sickness if you have but not at the point of being huge and uncomfortable and by then you'll probably be happy telling people so won't need to try and hide it.
Totally up to you though, i do understand your apprehension and sure your ss would understand if you decided not to go